To think that the form for my kids new school should not ask......

[SuedeEffectPochette]

.......for my "christian" name! It's a state school. They must get all sorts of guidance on how not to cause offence. Surely this is a term from the 1950s these days!

[DamnBamboo]

Well hoho I just don't sweat the small things, and to me, this is small.
It's important that they understand that lots of people believe in lots different faiths as I think it is insane to go through life not exposing them at all.

My oldest is 8 and I say, 'I don't believe and neither does daddy',but many people do and that's their choice' And perhaps when you are old enough to understand things yourself, you may agree with us or you may choose differently.

I can only guide him in what i think is the right direction.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

even if there was a secular school there would still be a minority of children attending probably from a religious background who would take time out to pray. Then they would be the ones being singled out.

Providing that there were religious schools for those children then it would be the parents choice to single them out. As it stands now, atheists dont have any choice.

I fully agree that children should experience these things and learn about others beliefs. Its the unquestioned nature that is the issue.

We teach our children to listen to and respect their teachers, then we have to say that X believes in God but I dont. Its contradictory. Religion should be a personal choice practised in the home. It shouldnt be foisted upon childrem in a one size fits all format.

[digerd]

Well, in all my too many years of life, I never realised that the word christian name was anything to do with religion. It was just a word which meant your first name and surname was the last name.

But now also realised that I haven't seen it for, can't remember how ,many years.
I lived in Germany for many years and they used the word Vorname = forename and still do.

We had jewish friends at school and never heard of any complaint or offence taken.

[DamnBamboo]

We teach our children to listen to and respect their teachers, then we have to say that X believes in God but I dont. Its contradictory. Religion should be a personal choice practised in the home. It shouldnt be foisted upon childrem in a one size fits all format

Agree with this to some extent. But you can listen and respect your teachers, but not necessarily take everything they say as gospel (no pun intended). I don't understanad why you think it's contradictory to say 'X believes in God but I don't'

This is not contradictory, it's a difference in beliefs.

The sooner children understand it's o.k. to believe different things (within reason) the better. I am my sons primary educator, not his teacher...me. Therefore it's my responsibility to ensure he knows the difference between evidence and belief (and where the two sometimes meet)and at 8 he already has a good understanding of it.

I do see your point though wanna

There are some discussions to be had around this, it's true.

[DamnBamboo]

Perhaps you have different experiences in state primaries than me wanna. I have never felt that religion was being foisted on my boys, and I am a pretty tough customer in that respect (i.e. if it was, I'd be one of the first to address it).

Maybe this is down to the heads etc...

I find it interesting that Easter was celebrated this year, yet they ignored Harvest festival.

I will watch closely for next year and see what they do.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Perhaps.

My Primary was linked very closely to the Presbyterian for no other reason than the close proximity. There was prayers in assembly and before lunch. The Minister came on Fridays and did a sermon kind of thing.

Jehovas Witnesses that attended had to sit out of assembly. And enter the dinner hall late. And perhaps this point alone is where my views come from. The girl was my friend. She was lovely. But she was very excluded in many aspects because of the assembly thing. Its always stuck with me.

Ok so I am 25 and things may have moved on. I am sending DD1 to an integrated school (N.Ireland) where they still have to have collective worship. I dont agree with it, but I simply cannot bring myself to exclude her from it because of what happened in my primary. I feel very pushed into a corner iyswim.

[DamnBamboo]

See my sons school doesn't have collective worship.
We didn't even consider Church schools for that very reason and also because his level of exposure would have been so much higher than in a non-denominational primary.

[Fargo86]

Do you get offended by schools having Christmas and Easter holidays, despite some pupils not being Christian? No? Then why are you offended by them using the term "Christian name" to mean "First name"?

[MrsMelons]

I am shocked that people find so many petty things to be offended by -you must have lovely lives if you are offended so easily by such little things!

I also cannot understand about the offence caused my addressing married couples correctly Mr and Mrs A Xxxxxx - its the correctly way of donig it - how is it offensive - it is your husbands name FFS and presumably you chose to take their surname so I don't see how it differs.

[SuedeEffectPochette]

Oh no - I see we have entered into the realm of religion in schools. Whoever said it would head that way was right then!
Just for final reply, then.
1.No, it is not important and I do have better things to worry about.

1. I suppose I like to think that on the whole I don't say write things that might make people of different faiths uncomfortable or unwelcome. Actually I probably don't take offence myself to the "christian name" thing (I don't really care!), but maybe someone about to join the school who was say, muslim, would read that and think - "they aren't really thinking about me and my perspective are they?" Given that minorities are under-represented in this school, it might make someone feel less welcome, IMO, and that is a shame. It's a bit like that mural at Arsenal that someone painted with only white faces, until someone pointed out the error! It just shows an insular attitude. Not everyone is the same........

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Re the taking husbands name thing. I think the issue with that is that it stems from our past when girls and women were seen as possessions. Fathers paid the future husbands family a dowery because they were effectively paying the new family to keep their daughter.

In those times a woman was Miss until married and then she was Mrs (Husbands name). Never her own person in her own right.

Just because thats how it always was doesnt mean thats how it should be. It doesnt offend me (neither does Christian name on a form, as its "normal" due to my upbringing) but are not ridiculous to be offended by these things. If it doesnt offend you then great, but dont expect everyone to brush it off.

[2beornot]

And just to be even more annoying, those who suggest first name instead of Christian name are also wrong because it many cultures the first name is the family name, not the given (for want of a better term) name.

OP, I think you should just cross it out and put your preferred terminology. It's not worth bringing up.

[DamnBamboo]

I also cannot understand about the offence caused my addressing married couples correctly Mr and Mrs A Xxxxxx - its the correctly way of donig it - how is it offensive - it is your husbands name FFS and presumably you chose to take their surname so I don't see how it differs

This is a completely different, and totally unrelated point.

I am not Mrs husband initial, husband surname and would never accept this.

At a push I am Mrs husband surname (cringe at the Mrs.)

I will accept Ms husband surname (better)

I prefer Dr. Bamboo.

You don't become an externsion of your husband, including name, just because you married them. Completely different.

[MrsMelons]

It is related as has been mentioned numerous times in this thread!

[montage]

"I take it that you are equally offended that this forum is called MUMSnet. Perhaps it should be changed to something gender neutral like ParentNet. But then that might offend people who aren't parents. "

There was a great thread where an earnestly nice (possibly student?) couple came on here to educate all of us about this. Anyone remember it?

[DamnBamboo]

It is not related at all.
The fact that it has been mentioned doesn't make it related.
Would you husband like to be called Mr ?

Why ever not?

[Fillyjonk75]

You don't become an externsion of your husband, including name, just because you married them. Completely different.

I agree.

[DamnBamboo]

1. A woman's marital status is nobody's business and should not be reflected in her name.
   
   
2. She doesn't doesn't just morph into a Mrs because they're married.

[Fillyjonk75]

First thing I thought about Mumsnet is that it was a sexist title, put me off for ages!

[Kewcumber]

I am a devout atheist. I would find "christian" name mildly irritating but not madly offensive. But if I married and anyone tried in writing or any other way to imply that my first name had mysteriously morphed into Fred I would be inclined to drop kick them to the kerb.

[DamnBamboo]

Kew

'I would be inclined to drop kick them to the kerb.'

How succinctly put!

[backonlybriefly]

Of course it's wrong to say Christian name, but if it's just a form that's not been updated I wouldn't care at all. If they had purposely changed the form back to say Christian name that would be a bad sign.

As an atheist I'm more offended (disappointed would be a better word) by the people who imply that you shouldn't celebrate Christmas or Easter because you don't believe in their god. Do people really not know that Christmas was a pagan celebration before the church hijacked/renamed it? Do they really think that present giving, holly, the tree and log are about Jesus? (You don't want to know what Druids hung on trees) Do you put a fairy on the top of the tree as you think fond thoughts about baby Jesus and not realise the contradiction?

Easter even still has the name of the goddess. Not to mention the eggs which are nothing to do with Jesus unless he was a duck and a lot to do with fertility and re/birth.

Think about that when you hand out the cream eggs.