To think I wasn't in the wrong here? (Soft play woman)

[AnneNonimous]

I am entering the realms of soft play with DS now he can walk. Today me and a friend took our DC's to a local soft play. It's quite big so pretty expensive with a separate section for children under 3 and a huge play place for older kids.

I took DS (just turned 1) into the younger section where a woman came in with her son who looked a good few years older than 3. He decided he wanted to make a house with all the soft blocks in the area (and I mean ALL of them) and proceeded to do so while his mum sat reading a magazine. DS already has a thing for joining in with the older boys so toddled over to play and the little boy stopped him from touching any of the blocks. He followed DS around blocking all the soft play equipment. I waited for the mum to say something but she just stared at my DS as if she was expecting me to stop him. After a few minutes I led him away and said loudly 'come on DS some boys aren't taught to share' to which his mum replied 'oh do shut up he's playing with them'.

I told her since he was too big to even be in that area and my son is 1 years old I would have expected him to be able to share SOME of the equipment that was in there. She went back to her magazine and completely ignored me.

It was my first time at one of these places but I have a hard time believing that that's how they work!!

WIBU or was she??

"The trouble with loud PA statements is they don't leave anywhere for the other person to go. Except to the land of cross"

This is so true! If I had been in your situation and the other mother wasn't doing anything, I would just go and get some of the blocks myself, explaining to the three year old that your little boy would like to play with some of them. She should have dealt with the situation, yes, but you made it confrontational.

I think you were both being babyish! I'm not sure how a 3 year old could commander ALL of the equipment in the baby area and i also think that 3 is fine to still be in the little area - he may not have been confident in the larger bit of the centre

The boy must have been 4 or younger. Children that age can look huge compared to toddlers. I do think you were a bit unreasonable. The boys mother should have intervened. But you did nothing to really diffuse the situation. You could have said something to boy, mother or one of the staff. There is little point getting shirty. But, it's easy for me to say in hindsight. I have not supervised my children from about the age of three in soft play. I am pretty slack too. I have sat reading Hello and drinking coffee.

I had a similar situation in a soft play area with a older boy blocking dds path I just scooped her up and whisked her off for a drink. he had gone by the time we came back small children have short attention span.

yabu for making an issue of it.

its hard but some mums use it as break, and dont parent all that much while they are there.

YABU for the passive aggressive statement. You should have either said something to the boy or gone to his mum.

The thing is when you said, 'come on DS some boys aren't taught to share' you weren't really talking to your DS, were you. You weren't brave enough to say it to his DM so you went for the PA approach of channelling via your DS! You are going to have to toughen up if you wanna survive your years in soft play! Just be firm, but clear with the other kids and if the mum wants to take issue, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. But for the PA response alone, YABU she was pretty rude, though!

A mum of a baby made my 4 year old leave the under 5's area at my local soft play. I didn't see it (otherwise would have said she was only 4) but my friend told me. Just because a child is a lot bigger than yours doesn't mean they are as old as you think. It's hard to judge when yours is so little. Not justifying the boy not sharing but a request from you would probably have worked.

If other boy was that much older why wasn't he in school?

I think PA comment kicked it off, really. Your bad.

I'd have shouted 'oi, you! Share!'

Agree about the assive agressive martyr statement.

Don't be so wet. Just ask the mum " my baby would like to play ith the blocks too, could your son share them? "

Imo, people never tae offence or objct to a reasonable request, voiced in a friendly manner.

You reap what you sow. But maybe you like the thrill of mral righteous indignation more.

I look at the offending parent and if they don't intervene I say loudly and over-nicely "Ooh let the baby play too...we must share nicely mustn't we?"

I think you were both in the wrong. Passive aggressive is never a good way to go, just open your mouth and say what's bothering you - nicely. I would get irked by older children in the under-3s area too, it was the other parent's job to move him out or, at the very least, make him share the toys. She sounds unpleasant. But you didn't handle it well.

Have definitely taken comments on board re: my PA response. Will try not to be so moody if there is a next time!!

But the boy really was a lot older i wasn't imagining it! My friends DS is 3 so I didn't just have my DS to compare. And there were a lot of school aged kids in the older section I don't know why they weren't in school either. I don't even have a problem with older kids being in the baby section if they're playing gently and being mindful of the littler ones.

Oh and OP, yes, you will encounter lots of parents like this over the next few years but, fortunately, I do think the majority I have met are decent people. The tricky thing is making sure you never, ever appear to be criticising someone's child. Nobody responds well to that - even if they quietly agree with you!

If this sort behaviour rattles you I would suggest avoiding soft play

With the exception of parties I never go as I find it winds me up too much.

If there were lots of older kids it was probably inset day at a local school. I think you would still be right to go for direct approach in future. Either ask him his age and if over 3 to move or to share the toys.

Well done OP, because not all OP's are taught to take being told they're U on the chin, are they?

Fucking soft play is a massive pain in the arse.
I went yesterday as I was feeling ill but dh at work.
It was quiet, I had a nice cup of tea and a bit if mumsnet whine she played on the toddler area.
Then a party came in and a deluge of ten year olds charged in pushing the little ones aside.
I got up and left.
They are useful places but I'm not getting all worked up about them I can't be bothered.

YANBU to expect him to share but I do think you might have been mistaken about how old the boy was. My DS1 has only just turned 3 but is very tall and most people seem to assume that he is 4. We've had quite a few comments when he is playing in the under 3s area at our local soft play (even when he was still only 2), with some parents insisting that he was too old to be there - but he's not!

She was rude but you dealt with this badly. Friendly but firm is the way to go. I would have gone in with the tiny PFB and said cheerfully to the hogger "this looks like fun come on PFB you can play with these too" big smile. In dealing with other peoples children I always think what would Mary Poppins do and do that.

You shouldn't have made a snide comment directed at the mother. What did you think she'd say? Yes she was initially in the wrong but being a smart mouth made YU too.

Best to have bitten your tongue. I'd have gone over to the said pile of locks retrieved a couple and let DS play with them.

*blocks

Oh and I'm going to buy my 2yo an 'I am two' T-Shirt as he looks four.