Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my dh wouldn't be so laid back about bedtimes if he was the one who had to get them up for school in the morning

61 replies

chocoholic05 · 21/04/2013 21:30

dh obviously can't take them to school because he has to leave for work at 630. The dc are a nightmare to get up in the morning and to get ready. I therefore want them to go to bed at a reasonable time. However every night dh is the same. Saying its only 7 or 730 or 745 or whatever. aaah its so frustrating! Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:01

sorry if my last posts made no sense. Meant my dh varies in the time he gets home but usually by 630 but sometimes later and often earlier. He does do long hours and it's a long drive to work.

OP posts:
SpanishFly · 22/04/2013 09:03

When do they actually go to bed and when do they go to sleep?

OrangeFootedScrubfowl · 22/04/2013 09:04

We only have to leave the house at 8.40 and we get up at 7.00!

hophophippidtyhop · 22/04/2013 09:13

What time do they go up and what time do they usually fall asleep by? My dd's ( almost 3 and almost 6) go up by 7 or just after, getting them changed and stories takes about 30 minutes and they're usually asleep by 7.45 latest. Both up at six (sigh).

MortifiedAdams · 22/04/2013 09:17

Bath at 6.30, stay upstairs after it, stories and bed by 7.15. DH can do all of that, so he gets the time with them.

jester68 · 22/04/2013 09:39

My 2 are aged 7 and nearly 3.

They have bath at 6.
Then after being dressed for bed they come down for supper.

Back upstairs by 7 for brushing teeth and a story.
Youngest is asleep for 7.30. Eldest between 7.30-8.

They get up between 7-7.30 (wake themselves- only ever use the alarm just in case).

We leave the house for school/preschool run at 8.40 am

Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:43

jester 68 apart from the supper bit thats a similar routine I want for my dc. I used to have it too but since dh has been in this job its all gone out the Window!

OP posts:
Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:45

so bath for 630 unfortunately the bathroom is downstairs which doesn't help!

OP posts:
RenterNomad · 22/04/2013 09:47

No tv in the mornings or after supper here, as I find it too open ended.

Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:49

mine rarely wake themselves. Ds1 was permanently attached to my waist this morning complaining of being tired and refusing to get dressed. We just about made it on time! And my stress levels were sky high not a good morning! Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:51

i would love to enforce a no tv after tea rule but dh just refuses and says its only this time etc but you're right it's too open ended in my opinion.

OP posts:
Squitten · 22/04/2013 09:52

So take some control OP!

Why are you allowing this to continue when your DC's sleep is evidently suffering? Just tell your kids it's bedtime and get them upstairs! If your DH argues about it, tell him you'll discuss it after the kids are in bed and have the row later on. Assert yourself!

Sugarice · 22/04/2013 09:53

What time do they go to bed?

Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:56

since my dh started this job it varies for reasons i have already said. I'm not only battling against my boys reluctance to go to bed but I'm also battling against my dh and my boys no it and pick up on it!

OP posts:
Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:58

meant my boys know it obviously! I'm on the phone!

OP posts:
KansasCityOctopus · 22/04/2013 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 09:59

I often feel ganged up on!

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 22/04/2013 09:59

Does sound to me like its because he rarely gets to see them. That said is he actually doing anything with them or are they just 'there' while he is?

He's playing the 'fun dad' card and thats not fair on you. I agree with mortified, he does the bedtime routine from now on to allow him to spend some quality time with the kids and the kids to get a decent bed time!

Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 10:00

ok I need to be more assertive! starting tonight! Smile

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 22/04/2013 10:04

it seems to be like he wants it to be later so he can see his kids. it must be hard to be a parent and be at work all day, and to see your kids for thirty minutes when you get home and are still probably in "work mode".

Squitten · 22/04/2013 10:20

Good for you OP - good luck and be strong!

It sucks being the working parent who doesn't get to spend much time with the kids but the kids can't be allowed to suffer just so the working parent can feel better. Make sure your DH is fully involved with the bedtime routine and does the baths and the stories, etc.

Sugarice · 22/04/2013 12:10

You still haven't said what time they go to bed if your H lets them stay up, just curious.

Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 12:25

well it varies immensely so no consistency really but a good night nearer 8 asleep by 830 or ay worse 830 asleep by 9. Bear in mind that my reception child is finding school very tiring. He often won't eat his tea because he is so tired however my dh often doesn't see that either especially as on days like that I trut to give him his tea early. It's strange he perks up as soon as dh walks in!

OP posts:
Original poster
chocoholic05 · 22/04/2013 12:27

oh and he is still my dh! He may irritate me sometimes but I love him really! Smile

OP posts:
Doubtitsomehow · 22/04/2013 12:32

You are just going to have to set some rules and stick to them. It's not just about what your DH wants. It's about your kids' well being.

I'm not surprised your reception aged child is knackered. Going to bed at 9 and getting up at 7.15 is late for a child of that age.

Get it sorted, op. put your kids first and tell your DH this is how it's going to be. Ask him to work with you to ensure that your kids have the sleep they need to be healthy, to have sufficient energy for school and to be able to learn.