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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lie-ins

33 replies

TenBitSailor · 21/04/2013 03:30

Person 1 has to get up at 6am every week day.
Person 2 gets up at 9am every week day.
Neither can go to bed particularly early - both go at around 11. (Person 1 has work to do and person 2 doesn't need any more sleep).

At the weekend, neither has to get up until 9am.

Person 1 would like to get up a little later than this on a Sunday, say 10am. So would person 2.

Is it more fair for them to take turns, to allow Person 1 or allow Person 2?

OP posts:
KeatsiePie · 21/04/2013 03:42

Hmm. It sounds like person 2 is getting more sleep and has less work to do (I say less work to do b/c it sounds like person 2 is staying up till 11 b/c he/she feels like it, not b/c he/she has to work till 11). So it sounds like person 1 should get the lie-ins on Sundays.

That said, I would hate it if I never got a lie-in, even if I were person 2.

So I wonder is there any way person 2 could take on some work of some kind for person 1 so that sometimes person 1 were less tired/had more chance to rest and could let person 2 have the lie-in?

KeatsiePie · 21/04/2013 03:43

Edit: I mean so that person 2 could sometimes have the lie-in, not always.

IAmJacksRagingBileDuct · 21/04/2013 03:45

I would say take turns, both are doing a weeks work or childcare both are equally deserving of a lie in.

DH & I have a weekend morning each, he has Saturday I have Sunday, would that work?

Original poster
TenBitSailor · 21/04/2013 03:49

Usually they take turns. However, this week person A has spent 1 night in hospital with DC (no sleep at all, child having had GA and surgery), then subsequent nights doing every waking, loo taking etc. (child being very upset, confused and in pain) and is frankly exhausted. Person 1 believes, if there is a lie-in to be had, it is theirs, despite having had one last week.

Person 1 is not looking forward to work tomorrow and NEEDS SOME BLOODY SLEEP.

Is person 1 being unreasonable?

Can you tell which person I am? Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TenBitSailor · 21/04/2013 03:50

Saturday morning taken with something else, unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
TenBitSailor · 21/04/2013 03:51

Sorry, person 1 not A Confused

OP posts:
KeatsiePie · 21/04/2013 04:17

Ha ha yes pretty clear who person 1 is Grin

I think in this case the lie-in should be yours, it's not the usual weekend (and I hope your child is better).

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2013 05:52

If there is only one lie in to be had, it's yours. Anyone who does any night wakings gets trumps.

On a point of grammar, is it lies-in or lie-ins? You know, like Knights Templar, Courts Martial and Mothers-in-law.

sarahandemily · 21/04/2013 06:40

Or a new rule - if there is only one lie in to be had the other person gets to go for an afternoon nap

Jinsei · 21/04/2013 06:52

All other things being equal, Person 1 should get the lie-ins every week. 9am every day is a lie-in.

And Person 1 is especially deserving this week, due to interrupted sleep earlier in the week.

TheDemonShedMaster · 21/04/2013 06:54

How about Person 2 lies-in until 10.00am and then Person 1 goes back to bed for the rest of the say....?

Original poster
TenBitSailor · 21/04/2013 06:56

Or how about Person 2 had a lie in until 12.45, Shock by which time it is too late for Person 1 to have a nap at all, bearing in mind the amount of work Person 1 has to do before tomorrow?

Angry

People 1 and 2 live in a different time zone, btw.

OP posts:
KeatsiePie · 21/04/2013 06:57

Lie-in was originally defined as "an act of lying down (as in a public place) in organized protest or as a means of forcing compliance with demands." Perhaps approach it that way OP. The personal is political! Grin

MrsTP I cannot however find anything on the plural! (Going through old paperwork tonight and desperate for distraction clearly).

DottyDot · 21/04/2013 06:59

Afternoon naps are the way to go here. I don't do lie ins whereas dp sometimes does, but I do try to fit a good nap in from about 3pm - 5pm at the weekend - not every weekend, but if we're not out and about and doing stuff it's wonderful and I wake up feeling 100% more refreshed.

SueDoku · 21/04/2013 07:07

Normally, Person 2 gets more sleep in the week, so Person 1 should get the lie-in -- however, it would be nice/kind/more equal if Person 1 allowed Person 2 to have a lie-in on say, one Sunday a month...

This week, things have been very different, and Person 2 has had less sleep (and in much shorter stretches) than Person 1 - this trumps everything else, and Person 2 should get the lie-in.

Original poster
TenBitSailor · 21/04/2013 07:09

Do you mean the other way round, Sue?

OP posts:
SueDoku · 21/04/2013 07:11

At this time in the morning, quite probably.......Grin

NoTeaForMe · 21/04/2013 07:12

I agree with Sue for the regular lie-ins. This week person 1 should have the lie in though, but I think Sue just has that muddled?!

How old are the children involved? Personally I think 9am is a massive lie in anyway-I don't remember the last time I had a lie I until that time!

SueDoku · 21/04/2013 07:15

Have tried to get my head in order ---- the first part (normal) is correct, the second bit (this week) is totally wrong...... Sorry! Blush

(Can you tell that I don't function well in the mornings.....?)

TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 07:24

Well since person 2 has a lie-in every day of the week, it's not unreasonable for person 1 to want some extra in the circumstances.

The only exception to this being if person 2 has a long journey or dangerous job. I would make allowances for those things, you need more sleep then.

Do both work outside the home? If you weren't taking into account the circumstances involving the hospital, this would also have a baring in things.

Hope your LO is okay now.

CaptainSweatPants · 21/04/2013 07:28

If your kids are at school ( & id hope they are if you're both lying in til 9am at the weekend) then it's a bit crappy of person 2 to stay in bed everyday til 9am & not see them before school

Do you both really need to stay in bed til 9am every weekend ? !

AThingInYourLife · 21/04/2013 07:33

If persons A & B are in a loving relationship, I don't understand why the exhausted person is having to make a case for more rest.

It should have been offered, or at the very least given happily when asked for.

Pendipidy · 21/04/2013 07:46

Why is person 2 lying in til 9 every morning?

MrsMangoBiscuit · 21/04/2013 07:58

If I were just going on the OP, I'd say person 1 gets 3 lie ins, person 2 gets 1, so they get a turn every 4 weeks, but the lie in is predominantly used as a catch up for person 1.

However, if one person has missed a night of sleep, they NEED the lie in, so turn taking should be held until the week after.

FWIW, today is my turn to have a lie in, but I've left DH in bed as he seems more tired than me. Neither of us gets to sleep past 6.30-7 in the week, so we usually take it in turns, him Sat, me Sun. Yesterday we all had to get up as we were going out. DH didn't ask for the lie in, first he'll know is when he wakes up. Grin

Iaintdunnuffink · 21/04/2013 09:08

Any nice, caring person would tell number 1 to have a lie in as they've been dealing with hospitals and night wakings. They should have been helping with the night wakings anyway.