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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand why some women wear heels when they can't walk in them?

70 replies

DearJohnLoveSavannah · 17/04/2013 23:18

I can wear and walk in heels, although I have t draw the line at anything above 5" because I know I'd struggle.

Tonight I went out to dinner, was sat right next to the window - so obviously people watching. One woman walked by wearing average sized heels - doing the walk where your bum sticks out because you just can't walk in heels.

Aibu to not understand why some women do this?

OP posts:

ifancyashandy · 18/04/2013 09:14

And I walk better in heels than flats. I'm tall, with long slim legs and narrow feet. Ballet flats make me look like Olive Oyl and I hate the look if most other flat shoes. Brogues are nice but I find the rest to look frumpy.

MrsDeVere · 18/04/2013 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dahlen · 18/04/2013 10:52

I don't wear heels all the time, but I like them with certain outfits.

My golden rule is that I have to be able to run in them. If I can't, they are too high and will undoubtedly be uncomfortable.

I am well aware that I am contributing to the objectification of women. I also shave my legs. I know I shouldn't have to if I was judged on who I am rather than what I look like, but that's the world we live in. I like to push some sexist boundaries, but it's still the case that success means to some extent conforming to the social norms of your culture. It is well known across all cultures that attractive (not necessarily beautiful, but well-presented) people tend to be more successful, and this can be almost as powerful as a qualification or work ethic.

There is a balance to be struck between looking 'good' and crippling yourself, though, surely?

JohnSnowsTie · 18/04/2013 12:19

I wish I could wear heels, but every time I do I fall badly - and I don't just mean a stumble, it's always a full-on near death experience and always before I've had a drink, so my tights are then ruined for the night.

Also can't stand being preoccupied by painful feet - it's just misery

What doesn't help is that I have tiny feet and wide calves, so I tend to look like I've got pig's trotters.

ICBINEG · 18/04/2013 13:20

dahlen I was in the tesco queue with my hairy legs on display (due to being on the way back from badminton) and the guy behind me was full on staring....

I was so tempted to ask him 'What's wrong? Have you never seen a physiologically normal adult female before?'

But then I realised the poor sod probably hasn't....

I also had 'awww do you only find women attractive if they look prepubescent?' up my sleeve in case of negative comments....

but in the end our chance encounter was a silent one.

Quenelle · 18/04/2013 13:38

Maybe, like me, they had forgotten that they can't walk in high heels. From time to time I buy a pair of higher than normal (for me) shoes and then remember almost instantly that I can't walk in the stupid things.

I wish I could wear fabulous shoes and suits to work like Alicia Florrick in The Good Wife.

LadyFlumpalot · 18/04/2013 13:56

I seem to be able to manage best in my high, high heels (6") when I'm out drinking. So, I have come to the conclusion that when I concentrate on walking in them (sober) it's harder than when I'm just not bothered (drunk). Probably a bit like, if you try to think how to do something like type, you suddenly can't do it anymore.

Startail · 18/04/2013 13:58

No man would ever contemplate wearing foot where that made him feel uncomfortable and physically vulnerable and that is what heels and in fact all court shoes do to me.

I have no wish to wear shoes in which I can't walk, run or even stand for as long as is necessary. I have no wish to have my day dictated by my shoes.

SacreBlue · 18/04/2013 14:54

icbineg laughing at that - I hardly ever bother for work. I only ever shave for 'going out' and most of my friends couldn't careless either despite being rather that I don't

carlajean · 18/04/2013 15:17

I think you're spot on star tail

motherofmuddles · 18/04/2013 17:31

mmh
everyone can walk in heels - if they want to
Simple, heel toe heel toe slowly till you know what you are doing
Start with small heel size and work up!
Bizarrely my Dad taught me as he got so fed up with hearing me clattered down our road as a teenager. Ive always wondered how he knew.....

EuroShaggleton · 18/04/2013 17:46

I do not feel vulnerable in heels. Some of my flats are more uncomfortable than some of my heels. I'm wearing a nice pair of 3.5 inch LK Bennets today and I can walk in them just fine.

FreudiansSlipper · 18/04/2013 18:03

they probably have the wrong size on high heeled shoes need to be a little tighter fitting also many of the heels around at the moment are ridiculously high combined with a platform (though i love a little platform myself just not 5" heels)

i can run, have danced and stood around/walked in heels all day. what ruined my feet was dance training :(

i love wearing heels and have seen some really nice classic stiletto's about much nicer than the clumpy shoes that have been popular in recent years

CombineBananaFister · 18/04/2013 18:19

I bike to work at an ungodly hour (nightclubs kicking out) and the amount of women tottering around in a painful fashion or simply barefoot with heels in hand is amazing - literally every other girl does look like a constipated goose.
In all fairness this might be down to alcohol and tiredness too.

Having said that, i walk better in heels than flats - they give my piddly 5ft frame a longer stride whereas ballet flats make my bones reverberate on concrete. Am with the 'if you can't run in em, you shouldn't be wearing em' brigade.

ShatterResistant · 18/04/2013 18:25

I'm fine in heels, apart from when it comes to walking down stairs. What's the secret?!

Lovecat · 18/04/2013 18:37

My mum taught me how to walk in heels - she was always v. scathing of the 'waddle like a duck' brigade - and it is definitely all in the hips. If you don't wiggle, you'll waddle. I got married in the same Italian leather heels that she wore to her wedding in 1963 (we were the same size then) and they are the most beautiful shoes, they make my legs look amazing! But they're not stripper heels, in fact by today's standards they're quite short (3.5ins and no platform). Used to run in heels and everything. Since having DD my feet have widened but I still wear heels - I find that very flat shoes, like the ballet ones, make my legs ache and make my toes go funny.

Twattybollocks · 18/04/2013 21:04

Yanbu. I can't wear heels for this very reason, although I love them and wish I could. There seem to be a lot of shoes around with ridiculous heels that only a handful of people on the planet could walk gracefully in, I saw two teenage girls the other day teetering down the street in 5 inch heels, they couldn't bend their legs properly so instead were doing a rather ridiculous barbie type shuffle, and rather than looking sexy/attractive they just looked a bit silly really. Not helped by the fact that they had cropped tops/short skirts/no tights on and it was about 4 degrees, so they were hunched over and going blue with corn beef legs. Not a good look!

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 19/04/2013 21:14

SacreBlue · 20/04/2013 09:09

Don classic

Hulababy · 20/04/2013 09:12

YANBU. I see many a woman in big heels who then go on to walk very oddly; not a good luck surely?

I can't wear heels these days due to arthritis in my knee. But I struggled with high heels anyway, so I just didn't wear them!

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