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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people are obsessed with a new baby's weight?

58 replies

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:04

Yes I understand it's important for a baby to gain weight as it's a great indicator of health, but why the weird judgement of non health professionals? "Ooh she's lost a bit I hear," said by aunts etc.

It's just irritating. Then you feel like you need to justify the stupid comment. "They do lose a bit in the first week," blah blah.

It's just weird! Why!

OP posts:

treas · 17/04/2013 16:06

As it is one of the only factors people can determine whether the baby is thriving

Sirzy · 17/04/2013 16:07

I think it's just a general talking point with a new baby babies sex/weight/sleeping/feeding are about it for topics of conversation about a new born!

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:08

I wouldn't dream of putting a new mum on the spot and asking about the baby's weight. I'm sure she will have it in check herself...

OP posts:

gemdrop84 · 17/04/2013 16:09

Have no idea, but I know what you mean. Ds is 11 wks old and everyone always asks 'so how much does he weigh now?' why does it matter?! he's healthy, happy and getting bigger by the day, I don't need to take him to be weighed every other week thanks!

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:10

In my experience sometimes it then follows onto 'fantastic' advice...

OP posts:

IneedAsockamnesty · 17/04/2013 16:11

I don't get it either nor do I get the obsession extended family members have with outcomes of HV and DR's appointments when they wouldn't openly discus their own medical stuff they expect the baby's parents to.

nananaps · 17/04/2013 16:11

Just making conversation.

Weight and labour exprience seems to be main topic of conversation with newbabies.

Mette7 · 17/04/2013 16:12

Aren't they just making conversation and trying to show interest/concern? Babies don't do much except lie around and grow, there's not much else to say about them...

OrangeLily · 17/04/2013 16:12

Because you want to sound like you care. To be honest unless the baby is failing to thrive Im not going to give a flying fuck but its how you show concern and care. You can't really ask about the state of Mum's fanjo after the birth or how many tears she has. You can't ask how the baby is feeding because she'll be sensitive about breast or bottle feeding. There is literally bugger all you can ask.... " How's your baby? Still siting there son very little?" ..... "Grand..see you later".

treas · 17/04/2013 16:12

Why so sensitive?

wimblehorse · 17/04/2013 16:12

Why is it putting a new mum on the spot? As sirzy says it's just a talking point as they don't do much else...

Sirzy · 17/04/2013 16:13

Some people seem rather sensitive.

I bet if people didn't ask about the baby people would complain about that too!

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:17

Fair points. I'm being a meanie. I just find it really irritating. I did last time around and do this time.

OP posts:

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:18

I feel put on the spot. Yes I'm an uber sensitive person.

OP posts:

purrpurr · 17/04/2013 16:21

I never used to get it either. I still don't really. It always seemed to be a random fact to share with so many people, e.g. on FB birth announcements. I'm 37+3 and I think my birth announcement will go something like, 'DD born on X day at Xam, fully functional, all fingers and toes present, likes to open mouth and go 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh'. Please send wine.'

People don't actually ask you about your labour do they nananaps? Cripes.

Flisspaps · 17/04/2013 16:21

DS was fucking enormous, it was the number 1 talking point about him. Didn't bother me in the slightest, there wasn't much else to ask about him!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 17/04/2013 16:23

I have been pretty much housebound for 3 weeks (recovery from C+section then shitting wound infection)

I've had oodles of visitors but have very little to say to them other than newborn stuff (and Homes Under the Hammer) so I'm happy to discuss birth weight and gain (8oz in 2 weeks - chunky boy!)

s'just conversation innit!

princessx2 · 17/04/2013 16:30

I swear my ex-best friend fell out with me over the weight of dd1. We had similar birth experiences (induced, in 'labour' for 36 hours, then emergency section) but my dd was 2lb heavier than her ds. She really didn't like being outdone by anyone!

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:36

Princess that made me giggle!

OP posts:

TWinklyLittleStar · 17/04/2013 16:39

What do you actually want people to say? I'm sure if they just talked about last week's Britains Got Talent or whatever, and didn't mention the baby, most new mums would be rather put out.

badguider · 17/04/2013 16:42

newborns are pretty boring though aren't they? i mean, all they do is grow... not much else you can say is there?

if you don't want to discuss it, just say you don't know what the current weight is but baby is healthy and doing well.

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:43

I feel really mean now!

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 17/04/2013 16:43

It's standard baby talk not putting a new mum on the spot! Good grief!

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:46

Sometimes it does come across as a bit nosey though...And I've just remembered why. I have been present at a couple of conversations where people have been a bit sneery about a baby's weight/loss.

OP posts:

Original poster

mylittlepuds · 17/04/2013 16:47

Oh and mum/baby not present

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