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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people who use cloth nappies act superior to those who use disposables?

242 replies

DearJohnLoveSavannah · 15/04/2013 18:47

I think I've just noticed this more because apparently it's National Nappy Week right now.

I have a friend of a friend who is always putting up photos on FaceBook about cloth nappies - such as the birth to potty ratio of how many disposable nappies one baby goes through, or the latest cloth nappy she has just bought.

When she was at the same children's birthday party she gave people a demonstration on how to use them too.

I think it is fine to educate people and promote being more eco friendly, but she does it with such superiority that I feel if I got a disposable nappy out I would be extremely judged.

I have another friend who is like this, but less extreme.

Very willing to be told AIBU - because I'm just basing this one two people.

(Also sorry for posting in AIBU twice in one day)

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 15/04/2013 20:22

Cloth nappies may be better for the environment, I have no idea. But as my babies and I are land dwellers, I'd rather pollute the land with my nappies than pollute the sea with extra cleaning chemicals and by using too much water. The fish don't want my baby's waste any more than I do.

HiggsBoson · 15/04/2013 20:25

I'll say it again.

The sea is polluted by disposables as well, owing to all the water, chemicals and waste that go into their manufacture.

miemohrs · 15/04/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParadiseChick · 15/04/2013 20:36

Cloud that is some fuzzy logic you have there!

I don't want to be surrounded by your child's shit wrapped in plastic.

Do you throw your own poo in the vin so you don't upset the fish?

CloudsAndTrees · 15/04/2013 20:40

No, that would be wierd.

Like I said, I have no idea really. And my children have been out of nappies for a long time now anyway. It just seems that if I personally was using cloth nappies, then I would be using more detergent that I already did. That would have gone into the sea, and the disposable nappy people would still have made just as many disposable nappies.

VinegarDrinker · 15/04/2013 20:43

I've never used anything other than Ecover and occasional vinegar on our nappies. Washed at 40 degrees (normal wash), line dried. They smell just fine. Poo goes in the sewage, as it will when he toilet trains.

Presumably those who feel sorry for the poor fishes bury their own poo in the garden?

iZombie · 15/04/2013 20:43

I know a few cloth users. Most of them are awesome. Only one is a frother and I pretty much ignore her.

Same for sling friends, most fine, one a zealous fanatic who is trying to make a living out of pressurising folk to use her exorbitantly priced consultancy service and order very overpriced slings through her. I usually ignore her too, and chat with other friends I have who like to stroke pretty fabric and declare that it's all madness.

And again, breastfeeding friends. Loads of them, only one militant type and I just don't talk milk with her.

I guess what I am trying to say is that blanking the annoying people is fine:o

VinegarDrinker · 15/04/2013 20:47

"Smug competitive mummies will be smug competitive mummies over whatever aspect of mummying they've latched onto to be smug and competitive about."

Very well put.

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate · 15/04/2013 20:50

I am sad that a thread which started out with one stereotype - superior parent who does X - has gone the stereotypical way of most such threads, which is to start slagging X off and saying it's not that great anyway.

I use cloth. I like cloth. I'm not superior about it, though I do think (obviously, or I wouldn't do it) it's the best choice. My kids get/got horrid rashes in disposables and I think disposable wipes are the work of the devil because they just move the damn stuff around in circles without cleaning. Other people are quite welcome to say that reuseables gave their kids a rash, or they couldn't be bothered, or they don't like them - kids and parents are different- but do we have to start saying that babies in reuseables smell?

Why does a thread about attitudes have to move on to slagging off the parenting choice itself? I haven't seen evidence of 'superior' cloth users on this thread, but there's a fair few nasty comments the opposite way.

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate · 15/04/2013 20:51

And yes, yes to the comments by Miaow

mummytowillow · 15/04/2013 21:07

I used washables for my daughter, only from about 7 weeks as she was so tiny and they were too big.

Not one of my friends, or baby group had a negative comment. I think they secretly thought I was mad as it is a bit smelly and time consuming, but they worked for me.

Why do you care what other people think? Hmm

Exhaustipated · 15/04/2013 21:13

Well, you learn something new everyday and all that. This is the first time I have heard the term 'sposies' :)

Anyway, as I said I don't think cloth nappy users are superior IME. They seem happy about their choice, but that's not the same thing.

TBH, now I come to think of it, the only area I have ever really heard people cross the line between happy and judging others is in birth stories. But that's a whole other thread...

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate · 15/04/2013 21:19

Exhaustipated - don't set this thread off on that, it will never end Grin

jacks365 · 15/04/2013 21:22

Cloth mummy here. Half my friends use cloth too but i hate people who go over the top about it. I hate all the jazzy designs, plain white for me please. YANU to hate people who go overboard gushing about it but you would bu if you thought we were all like that. I've nothing to feel superior about i use cloth because for me they are more convenient, i don't have a car and can't get decent nappies locally its the one thing i would need to go to the supermarket for and would be a 10 mile round trip. In my situation cloth save me time.

idiot55 · 15/04/2013 21:26

Like all areas of parenthood, you will get people who act superior, however I was saddened when a friends baby had the most awful rash with washables but was fine with disposables ( weird I know) but mum refused to give up on the washables!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 15/04/2013 21:34

The main problem is you know shes right.

IneedAsockamnesty · 15/04/2013 22:46

I use cloth as well and I'm pretty sure I'm not in your face about it,I only talk about them or show them if I'm directly asked.

One thing I am very guilty off tho is if a close friend is having a baby my standard new baby gift is a nappy bucket containing 10 pocket style adjustable size nappies,5 cloth heavy duty menstral pads, 2 sets of washable breast pads and a packet of rockin green ammonia buster powder. With a detailed explanation of how to wash and strip and get stains out.

Not one of my friends has ever had a issue with the gift I would not be offended if they didn't get on with them I think its a nice gift and even if you don't want to use them all the time really handy to have for I've run out of nappies and I'm skint or can't be arsed to go out moments.

Cloth nappies that are changed when needed and washed correctly do not smell apart from after use and before washing.

cloutiedumpling · 15/04/2013 22:55

I use cloth nappies on DD. I'm not evangelical about it. I'm afraid of coming across some of the attitudes shown on this thread. I just get on with my own thing and leave others to do as they want.

kerala · 15/04/2013 22:56

I did feel quietly smug when I found a company that took away and laundered the reusables so I got to be green and lazy. Cost was same as buying disposables. I think disposable users can be touchy because they know they are on the back foot. Often I didn't say much about my choice at all but would be bored stiff by frothing disposable users slagging off my reusables as disgusting and too much work etc etc.

TheChaoGoesMu · 15/04/2013 23:33

I used to use cloth nappies for dd. I did feel rather smug when I used the cloth nappies (and a laundry service) Blush. Then I got lazy and started using disposables more when ds came along. At that point I shut up about it and ceased to be smug. Grin

Original poster
DearJohnLoveSavannah · 16/04/2013 00:07

The main problem is you know shes right

Right about what?

Because to me there is no right or wrong. Some people use cloth, some people use disposables. Both have pros and cons.

If it is best for her and her baby then good for her. What I don't like is the superior way she has gone about it. As in a full on demonstration at a birthday party, continually posting about it on FB.

If you want to use cloth then I applaud you as it's most probably not the easiest option. But it doesn't make you the masseur.

OP posts:
olivertheoctopus · 16/04/2013 00:21

We use cloth and although I do inwardly feel a bit smug about how much we are not sending to landfill I would never dream of behaving like your friend. I will happily demo or wax lyrical about how brilliant they are if someone asks me and I plead guilty to posting photos on FB of DS in his cool new Spiderman nappy etc but I'd prob be just as excited if you could get Spiderman print disposables and shoving it down your throat like that IBU.

coralanne · 16/04/2013 01:23

I always used cloth nappies. The only disposables around back then were really horrible.

When my DGD was born 9 years ago I was so excited. I went out and bought 3 dozen really soft snuggly cloth nappies.

The idea was for them to be used at home and disposable when they were out.

DD and her DH were living with me at the time. She had just turned 19 and her and DH were living with me. DD and her DH were both at Uni and her DH worked part time.

I took long service leave from work to help with DGD.

I had visions of when my DC were babies. Slow simple life., soaking the nappies in nappisan ,all snowy and white on the clothsline. (Living in OZ at the time)

DGD lasted one day in cloth nappies.Grin After changing her for the 10th time. Couldn't get used to the thickness of the nappies, pins etc. I said "Stuff this! Where are the disposables"

Almost ten years on, DD and her DH now have 5 DC.

The 4 youngest have all had those bright colourful ready made cloth nappies with the cloth inserts. Absolutely brilliant.

DD has never ever mentioned what she puts on her DCs' bottoms to avoid messing up the floor or the beds.

K8Middleton · 16/04/2013 01:35

Yabu and shallow. For all you know more people you know use them/have used them but just haven't mentioned it to YOU.

Whenever anyone finds out we used washables we always get "ooh it's too much work, I couldn't do it" and then a million questions and usually a request for a demonstration. If it was harder work than I wouldn't do it. I do it because it is cheaper, less nappy rash and they're easier to use at home because I just fling them in the bucket. Being a bit greener is nice too but not my main consideration.

I'm no more superior than the next person and I care as much about what you put on your baby's butt as I do how you take your tea. ie not a jot unless directly relevant to a task I have to do.

K8Middleton · 16/04/2013 01:38

What so you're bothered by her interest and enjoyment? How miserable of you!

I can't say cloth nappy chat interests me, but I daresay many of my interests and FB postings are tedious to others... but that's not the point. The point is they make me happy.

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