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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell ds1 he can walk next time he misses the bus

56 replies

Gales · 15/04/2013 16:55

He can get 2 different buses. There's one waiting when school finishes or another 30 mins later. He likes to go to the library after school, gets some homework out of the way and the later bus is less crowded. But, he misses it about 4 times per half term and has done so again today.

I've told him in future I'll pick him up once per term, after that he can walk. AIBU? He's 12 and it's 3 miles. What about in winter when it's getting dark?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 15/04/2013 19:38

more about him being bothered to be where he needs to be when he needs to be there without always expecting someone else to sort things out for him.

this really at 12 they can start to sort themselves out he isn't a little boy

5madthings · 15/04/2013 19:39

Op yanbu and it will encourage him to be more responsible n his time keeping and on a day like today would be a nice walk anyway and good exercise.

5madthings · 15/04/2013 19:39

And what mrsjay just quoted.

Bowlersarm · 15/04/2013 19:40

Don't agree. I think it would be safer for his mum to pick him up than for him to walk 3 miles home especially in the dark. He's 12 not 16. He will probably be fine walking home, but I don't agree with it being safer

mrsjay · 15/04/2013 19:41

meh dd walks too and from school has done since she was 11 over 2 miles to school she is safe she hasn't been kidnapped knocked over or abducted by aliens yet Grin

mrsjay · 15/04/2013 19:42

to and from*

5madthings · 15/04/2013 19:42

What exactly is going to happen to him?!

You realize that most car accidents happen on exactly this kind of journey, short and close to home.

BOF · 15/04/2013 19:44

I think I'd pick him up but charge him bus fare and your petrol.

floweryblue · 15/04/2013 19:45

I agree with most of the others: he needs to learn time-keeping, taking responsibility for himself and walking is actually good for him.

Mum walked Sis and I to our new junior school, about 3 miles, when Sis was 7 and I was 9, after a year or so we walked without Mum. Then when I left junior school and went to big school, sis walked on her own. We were fine and sounds a similar route to OP's boy.

DeepRedBetty · 15/04/2013 19:46

Well it's 7.45 and still not dark here, and I used to walk two point nine miles home from school, it wasn't dark by the time I got back even at the tail end of the Autumn term, (mid December). School finished at 3.45.

Someone would usually come and get us only if it was raining heavily. Bus not an available option.

StoicButStressed · 15/04/2013 19:58

Gales Firm voice bitter voice of experience says you should say that's what you are going to do and stick to it. Agree with ALL others who say it will then happen once - twice MAX before he stops 'forgetting'Grin

And that's partly as I agree with Bowlers even though her view is very opp! THIS BIT: 'Keep him safe. It's annoying, but he's not 12 forever' Quite. As trust me, pulling a 12 year old back into line - as long as it IS safe and it IS light (ie right now IS your best chance as this as it IS light!) - is waaayyyyyyy easier than it will be when he is NOT '12 forever'! DS2 is now 18 and forever making DS3 late as not ready to leave on time - and it's as much my fault as his as I've pandered to it (but no more!!!!)

So my vote IS your DS IS old enough to know time; my guess is he probably also chats with mates etc in library/homework club/plays on PCs if there are any(?) etc etc; and then does genuinely lose track of time... but only as he knows he CAN lose track of time as he knows Taxi Mamma will rock up as Plan BGrin

Bowlersarm · 15/04/2013 20:04

Thank you Stoic , well I think it's thank you Grin

StoicButStressed · 15/04/2013 20:18

Yes indeed Bowler, t'was indeed a complimentGrin

sarahtigh · 16/04/2013 09:43

up until maybe 15-20 years ago any child living that distance from school would almost certainly have walked both ways every day whatever the weather

i walked 1.6 miles to school and back every day the family only had one car which my dad had for work so a lift was not even a possibility, it would have been possible to catch a bus for about half the journey but as only one every half four it was quicker to walk

realistically a 12 year old is safe walking home at 4pm

seeker · 16/04/2013 09:47

Wide pavements, main road- why would he not be safe? Is it those pesky aliens again?

mrsjay · 16/04/2013 09:49

Is it those pesky aliens again?

they get bloody everywhere Wink

flaminghoopsaloohlah · 16/04/2013 09:54

Does he get pocket money? Maybe have him pay a portion of the school bus service? Or if the route isn't safe to walk he has to pay for a taxi? I like the idea of an alarm for him.

5madthings · 16/04/2013 10:34

I am interested in why it wouldnt be safe?! The op has clarified there is pavement, its a busy route and its light etc. Just wondering what exactly could be so dangerous on a 3 mile walk for a 12 yr old? Aliens or lions and tigers and bears!

mrsjay · 16/04/2013 10:46

I wouldnt let my dd use a taxi i am not made of money Grin

flaminghoopsaloohlah · 16/04/2013 10:48

5Mad - I'm sorry, I missed her saying the route was safe.

Mrs Jay - I wouldn't' pay for the taxi (no money tree in my back garden either!)- my DC would have to out of their pocket money...or walk...whichever.

andubelievedthat · 16/04/2013 15:26

Summer walk? fine, winter? ,careful, Zombies do come out in darkness to steal 12 year old kids ! its so very very funny , unfit schoolkids ,being collected by parents rather than walk 3 miles ? i realise its very non p.c. but when i missed the school bus i walked , to expect my parent to come for me ? yeah, right ! but then when we would go to swimming pool on Sat, we would buy chips with bus fare money and walk several miles home.In/during the early70"s, peedos ,child abductors,weirdos simply had not come into existence,that seems to be a modern problem.

cumfy · 16/04/2013 15:34

Bike.

Problem solved.

fryingpantoface · 16/04/2013 15:42

/during the early70"s, peedos ,child abductors,weirdos simply had not come into existence,that seems to be a modern problem

Eh? So child abuse is only a modern issue? Would you say the sexual abuse I suffered in late 80s, early 90s, is modern, or not so much?

What about the perverted people and abductions in the 70s? Well?

Nice to know these are just modern issues.

fryingpantoface · 16/04/2013 15:44

That's really fucked me off. What a stupid thing to say. There's more of a media presence, knowledge, now then there was then.

OP, yanbu. Make him walk. The nights are light

seeker · 16/04/2013 15:44

I think that was ironic........