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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to poo whilst at work

53 replies

manyana11 · 14/04/2013 19:09

I have this terrible fear of having to go whilst at work. I'm hypothyroid, often constipated and if I don't go it makes matters much worse, I've now changed my hours at work so I'm working full days and I fear I'll need to go. I know a lot of colleagues feel the same I think it's just the embarrassment of it. Arghhhh...

OP posts:
badguider · 14/04/2013 21:16

Use one on a different floor or in a different department. Nobody will know you and the walk there and back will mean people in your own office will think you've been at a meeting or something.

Shakey1500 · 14/04/2013 21:21

I don't particularly like going at work but I absolutely will if need be. Here are my top tips Grin

  1. Put a little loo roll down the pan to deaden the sound of ploppage.
  1. Wait (if possible) for person next door to flush chain then aim (!) to get the majority of ploppage out before the flush ends. (requires expert timing that comes with practice)
  1. Take a small perfume in with you to spritz whilst flushing. I've always got a left over something-or-other perfume from Great Aunt xyz for Xmas.
  1. Slide the lock to engaged/red and pull the door to when you leave, making it look like it' still occupied and therefore excluding you from being under suspicion as "The one who dared to have a shit at work, pebble dashed the loo and left a smell akin to a dead rat being roasted alive"
BriansBrain · 14/04/2013 21:27

I second paper down the loo first you could also take a fake phone call and say "ill come straight over" and then go for a poo so others think you are busy.

Original poster
manyana11 · 14/04/2013 21:37

Shakey, thanks for the top tips, I have deployed 3 already when I have absolutely had to go, tip 4 is a good one there.

Fake phone calls are hard in our dept, before we could move around to different departments, here we are all on one floor and nowhere else to go other than lunch or the loo. I think I might seriously have to consider using a department store loo in my lunch half hour!

OP posts:
TheMNeffect · 14/04/2013 21:38

Do these kind of threads remind anybody else of those 'top tips' sections in magazines? Apparently they pay if the tip gets printed. Can just imagine...

'If you're struggling to have a shit at work, then read something, it will relax you'. Grin

I always feel a bit self conscious 'going' in public loos and second sine if the advice here. Particularly like the 'shutting door to'. Ice done that before Wink.

TheMNeffect · 14/04/2013 21:39

Oops some I've Blush

GreenShadow · 14/04/2013 21:42

How strange.
It never occurred to me that people could have an issue with this.

I just do as I need, where ever or when ever I have to.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 14/04/2013 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
manyana11 · 14/04/2013 21:44

I even have trouble going for a pee, I want to go but if someone else walks in I know at the same time then try as I might I just get wee freeze!

How i wish I could be like you Greenshadow bliss...

OP posts:
Fairydogmother · 14/04/2013 21:45

I hate loos other than my own! I am also hypothyroid and also pregnant so am struggling a bit at the mo! Soft fruit such as plums does seem to help along with natural senna tablets.

I will literally only go in work if by strange chance I've got the worst runs and I HAVE to go!

Doesn't help that they are never kept v clean and stink of something unholy Hmm

LemonPeculiarJones · 14/04/2013 21:47

I don't usually have a problem pooing at work. But one company I worked for (tiny, start-up) had one poky little loo, right next to the receptionist's desk.

Seriously - take the door away and you'd have been sitting side by side with her Confused

I used to pop over to MacDonalds when I needed a poo Grin Best use for that establishment IMO.

dizzy77 · 14/04/2013 21:50

I used to work with a woman who would say "I'm not going for a pony in the office." Grin. Can't remember how the topic came up but I'd never been conscious of it before.

Sorry to hear its hard op. I work on a floor of almost 100 women with only 3 female loos. I try to avoid "peak" times but otherwise figure everyone else has to, at some point. And I've never thought about a particular person when ive arrived after the event, IYSWIM.

marriedinwhiteagain · 14/04/2013 21:52
  1. Don't you think all your colleagues need to poo and wee (and fart and burp). All normal bodily functions.
  1. If you are hypothyroid and are that constipated are you sure you are on the right dose of thyroxine and have you had your levels checked lately. I'm hypothyroid and I'm not constipated.
  1. Do you drink enough water.
  1. Top tip - don't worry about the plop - but flush chain immediately and smell will go straight away. Wipe bottom and then flush again. Then if anyone did hear the plop they will have used another loo and have gone by the time you come out.
Jestrin · 14/04/2013 21:53

I can't go if there are cubicles, just in case anyone comes in. But I can go in the loo next to the music room especially when the brass band is practising loudly Grin

maddening · 14/04/2013 22:15

If you make a noise think of it logically - we all shit and ladies have tampons etc too - it isn't as big a thing as you have worked it up to be.

Marriedinwhite is giving all the good advice out today - def listen to her :)

MrsBertMacklin · 14/04/2013 22:21

OP, have you ever heard someone you know poo? When you see or speak to them now, is it an unshakeable image in your head?

What I'm trying to say, is that even if someone does hear you going, they're not likely to define you by it, or even remember the event. I know I've walked into toilets to hear plopping, but am struggling to remember now which colleagues were responsible.

Jeebs · 14/04/2013 22:27

Use olbus oil down the pan first, I have IBS and stink to high heaven and I HAVE to go when I need to go.

nb only when I found out about the olbus oil did I go in public loo's, before then I would make myself quite ill by holding it in for 10 hrs whilst at work

MsVestibule · 14/04/2013 22:28

Ah, married. Are there any work related subjects you don't give excellent advice on? I want to be like you when I'm a grown up .

marriedinwhiteagain · 14/04/2013 22:31

Mrs V I'm still struggling to get my head around pensions auto enrolment and exactly what I will have to do to make sure we comply Grin

katkit1 · 14/04/2013 23:06

ilovecolinfirth - haha just snorted at your daft joke

MsVestibule · 14/04/2013 23:07

Good, good, delighted to hear you're not absolutely perfect. Perhaps you could start a thread entitled "AIBU to not be able to get my head around pension auto enrolment? Any advice on how I can ensure my company is compliant?'

We'd all be delighted to help. Apart from Trills, who would, of course, direct you to the relevant advice board.

auldspinster · 15/04/2013 00:53

I used to have work plopping issues until I developed IBS now I've got no choice, I tend to flush as I go and hang on if I hear someone outside before exiting. Some of my male colleagues disappear with their iphones or papers tucked under their arms.

recall · 15/04/2013 01:04

another tip that my colleague told me to do

do your poo and then flush immediately without wiping?

pull pants up loosely ?

come out of cubicle?wash hands?

go into another cubicle, preferable farthest away from 1st, and wipe your bum.

This will a - reduce smell, and b - look like you just did a wee when you come out and someone else did the poo.

I never managed this system, but she swears by it, and does it every day.

Good luck?pooing at work is stressful

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 15/04/2013 01:15

I hope that there is another hand washing at the end of that scenario Recall!

LapsedPacifist · 15/04/2013 01:31

I have IBS. I feel your pain Sad.

Have a quick wipe to remove the worst of the crud and flush immediately. Take an air freshner in with you and zap the cubicle.

HTH x