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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect next door neighbours to give me my cat back?!?!?!

329 replies

tillytrotter11 · 14/04/2013 17:50

I am absolutely fuming and doing my nut! This is the first nice day of the year and I've just noticed my 11 year old cat, which went missing 11 months ago, in my next door neighbour's garden. The next door neighbour was sitting outside with her patio doors open and my cat was sitting next to her. Me and my daughters were in shock as we have searched for her and asked around and had even put posters up but had little luck and therefore we assumed that she had died. We kept calling the cat and she instantly recognised us but the woman just sat their ignoring us. We finally got the woman's attention and when we said "excuse me that's our cat" and asked for her back, she blatantly refused as she said she had "taken her to the vet and had her micro chipped". She then brought her husband out, who spoke to us like we were a bunch of idiots. He told us "she was an indoor cat" after we had showed them a load of photographs of her and then they stormed back inside.

It's very obvious that the cat had been shut all this time and the reason we have spotted her now is because it's a very nice day and they have let her roam in the garden.

Where do we stand and AIBU to expect them to return our much loved cat back to us? Thanks for any advice!! Sad

OP posts:
YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad · 14/04/2013 21:27

Oh my god, your neighbours are fuckwits! Why the hell did they not just get their own cat?

Good luck on Tuesday!

tillytrotter11 · 14/04/2013 21:32

Nope. They're a young couple, about 30. And they keep themselves to themselves so we've never really spoken to them.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/04/2013 21:34

Ooh. I was imagining a little old lady in a deckchair. How odd. Will you be able to sleep tonight knowing the cat is next door? Sad

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 14/04/2013 21:43

Fingers crossed the police can help and this all goes your way. I would be raging! Please let us know how it goes.

tiggytape · 14/04/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jestrin · 14/04/2013 21:57

Is your cat microchipped? I'd go round and get it back!

shesariver · 14/04/2013 22:03

Hope you get your cat back OP, god some poeple.

timtam23 · 14/04/2013 23:30

That's so unfair of your neighbours, surely they must have realised the cat was yours? I hope you get a good result from the police.

IHeartKingThistle · 14/04/2013 23:43

Our neighbour tried to steal our cat on the day we moved away. Literally about to go, couldn't find her, knocked on the door and when the lady opened the door I could see the cat in the room behind her. Very very awkward, but she gave her back. It was quite sad, she was a lonely old lady but it was our cat!

Really hope you get her back op.

bootsycollins · 14/04/2013 23:50

I'd be printing out the cats and the law link that mmmuffins provided and posting a copy through their door. What a horrible pair of wankers you have living next door, pair of sickos how fucking dare they. I wouldn't be able to stay away from them until Tuesday, I'd have the whole street with fire and pitchforks on their front and a mega phone telling them to release the hostage. I would make their lives a living hell until they released the cat, I'd stalk them and tell the world what cat thieving scum they are then when you've got your cat back just ignore them forever, bastards.

FairPhyllis · 15/04/2013 01:30

I am totally gripped by this and rooting for you OP. WHY will people who want a cat not just go to a rescue, instead of pinching a neighbour's cat?

I think the police can act in cases like this as I think the OP of 'Catgate' (a long running thread in AIBU) has involved the police in the past.

CalamityJ · 15/04/2013 02:34

Oh my goodness how cruel! She has stolen a much loved family pet! Who would do that no matter how much they wanted a cat? Rescue one from the local shelter don't appropriate your neighbour's who've asked you if you've seen it. Wow. I'm not sure what the legal position is but I'd certainly get some advice. You poor thing. Glad you've found it though after all this time.

CalamityJ · 15/04/2013 02:43

Ooh looking forward to Tuesday and them getting their comeuppance!

Toadinthehole · 15/04/2013 05:56

OP, I hate cats, but I wish you the best of British with this one. Deliberately taking a person's cat is straightforward theft, and civilly actionable as conversion. It doesn't make any difference if the cat has been chipped at the thief's expense - it wasn't theirs to deal with in the first place.

nooka · 15/04/2013 06:15

We've both adopted a stray and also almost had one of our cats adopt another family, so it can and does happen. First cat lived with my ILs (was originally SILs cat before becoming ours) and was not well loved by them, so I'm not surprised he spent time with a more welcoming family. We only knew that they thought he was theirs when we picked him up to take him to our new flat, as they were outside their house at the time (lived a few houses down) and obviously sad about losing him.

Our stray had been hanging out in our garden for a few months when we discovered that he was coming in and hiding in our house on a regular basis (we didn't feed him). He did have a collar but was very underweight and according to our neighbours had been trying to get into their place for a while too. We think his owners probably either died or moved away. He was always free to go home - locking a cat you think is a stray inside your house is a terrible thing to do, let alone when you know where he lives and that he is very much missed.

Carolra · 15/04/2013 06:48

Unbelievable. I'd be livid!! Good luck with the police...!

GirlWiththeLionHeart · 15/04/2013 08:50

My neighbours cat moved in with us. I kept taking him back round but he would always come back to ours. I think he liked our other cats.

10 years on and he's stil with us. The neighbours gave up after a while.

Sailormercury · 15/04/2013 09:17

I remember LordSugars thread about cat theft. Apparantly the police can do something.
If they keep the cat shut in or refuse to give you the cat back then they are depriving you of your property and breaking the law.

Good luck!

tillytrotter11 · 15/04/2013 09:27

Thank you for the link mmmuffins!! It was really helpful! And thank you everyone else for all your handy advice! And bootsycollins - that can be plan b! Wink

OP posts:
tillytrotter11 · 15/04/2013 09:31

I sent a letter to them last night and I was extremely and probably too polite and civil in it. I told them that shewas a much loved family pet who my kids had grown up with. I told the weirdos that WHEN we got her back we would happily let them say hello to her but just don't let - more like trap! - her in. Haven't heard a peep from them yet though!

OP posts:
DeepRedBetty · 15/04/2013 09:34

OP sorry to bang on, you've been asked by a number of posters if (a) you ever had your cat chipped yourself and (b) have you got vet records for her. Any chance of an answer?

Sparklingbrook · 15/04/2013 09:35

Yes I would imagine the vets could help here Deep.

ZebraOwl · 15/04/2013 10:16

Things like this make me hope - just a little bit - that my cats never get over their agoraphobia. (Yes, truly, agoraphobic cats. It takes immense effort to get them to put a whisker out of doors never mind a paw & they press themselves flat to the floor the whole time we're out. Unless they scramble up me & cling to me in blind terror, that is. As soon as we go back into the house they bolt away & hide - usually under my bed - and are on edge for ages afterwards. Am hoping nicer weather might make the garden seem a more inviting prospect. But I digress.)

Any kind of cat-thievery is grim but this does seem extra-foul as they obviously knew she was your cat. Even if they'd somehow never noticed her before they stole her, as soon as the posters went up, if it wasn't cat-napping but a genuine Let Us Give The Poor Cat A Home thing, they'd've been round to you saying "We May Have Your Cat". How could they be so selfish & so cruel to your family (inc TillyCat)!? Ugh.

Do find it genuinely boggling that so many people think Cat Commandeering is okay - &/or apparently have no idea what a stray cat looks like nor what the appropriate thing to do with a Found Cat is! one of my friends has a cat who, once she's seen my pal off to work in the morning, gets her C19 Lady On & bops about Paying Calls. My friend was a bit startled to be stopped by a woman while out walking accompanied by cat. Initially she thought there was Cat Confusion as StrangeWoman addressed Cat as NotCat'sName, only to be told "oh, no, we know she's called Cat'sName, but we call her NotCat'sName because we think it suits her". This was followed by a lengthy speech about the Special Bond Cat had with StrangeWoman's Offspring as Cat would sit on Bump whilst StrangeWoman pregnant so Offspring recognised Cat immediately & will love at forever etc. StrangeWoman tops list of suspects for keeping Cat in when Cat doesn't wish to be kept: Cat's routine involves escorting my friend back home again from where she drops her in morning & paying only v brief calls if friend at home so... There have been Odd Happenings with Cat's collars, too, beyond her having squiggled herself out of them, I mean Hmm

Another friend is in the awkward situation of a neighbour's cat wanting to move in. Said Cat is elderly, rather scraggly & had fleas when she first appeared through my friend's catflap. After investigating, friend discovered cat belonged to a neighbour. Cat is shut out for much of day (& night) and is one of a number of animals in the household that give impression of getting minimal care. My friend no longer feeds Cat, having talked to Owner, but still allows Cat in (& has de-flead more than once) as Cat so desperate for somewhere soft&warm to sleep - and for attention&affection from a human, too. Cat often spends nights there as preferable to neighbour's expectation Cat will spend night roaming neighbourhood.

This is obviously not similar to either of these sorts of things, unless your cat had a nervy b &/or developed amnesia in the style of a ridiculous soap opera & moved next door as a result. It is catnapping
Pure And Simple, unless TillyCat is an undercover agent & has been on a top-secret mission for the last 11 months. Which I astrongly suspect isn't the case, somehow...

Poor TillyCat must [have] be[en] absolutely miserable being kept imprisoned in your neighbour's house. Is particularly awful she & her sister were separated & won't get to be re-united. Really REALLY hope that this is all sorted out - with happy ending for you & the TillyCat - as soon as possible. Ideally with the cat thieves being punished. Even if you do get TillyCat back once the police have stepped in I think you should still approach the media. These people should be Named And Shamed.

Have everything crossed for you - let us know if you get a reply to your letter, won't you, please?

CelticPixie · 15/04/2013 10:27

What kind of person steals someone else's pet? Especially one that belongs to a child. If the police don't do anything I'd steal it back, what a pair of nasty arseholes!

tillytrotter11 · 15/04/2013 11:48

DeepRedBetty - Hi, sorry if I forgot to answer the questions! No, we didn't get her micro chipped unfortunately. Sad But everyone knew her for her distinct pattern and knew she was ours as well. Yeah, she is registered at a vets so hopefully that will help our case. I still know the people I bought her and her sister from so they can vouch for us too! We also have tons of photos of her throughout her life so it looks as if they don't have a leg to stand on!

We are now beginning to wonder whether our other lovely little boy cat is being held hostage in their house too. It's a bit funny because they both went missing at th same time and are both lovely, gentle and affectionate cats. We've not seen him since lastMay.

OP posts: