to hate the way I look?

[Bogeyface]

I am heavier now than the day after I gave birth to DD, a size 18 and disgusting.

I am 40 in 6 weeks, supposed to be having a party but I dont want anyone to see me like this. I tried on my favourite dress that I assumed would still fit and I cant do it up. I am working and on my feet all day but I am not losing any weight despite doing it for the last 6 weeks or so, I had thought that the extra exercise would do it. I cant get to any diet meetings but I need the support as I dont have the self discipline to do it alone.

WIBU to cancel my party, I know people will take photos and I really dont want myself to be captured looking like this. 6 weeks is not long enough to shift nearly 3 stone is it :( I didnt realise I had got so big, de Nile ain't just a river in Egypt......

Forgive me this pity party, I am not normally a whinger but this has really upset me.

bum.....if the diet goes pear shaped

My mum once said 'No one notices that you're fat if you don't tell them!' Size 18 isn't that bad. Try to lose weight over the next few weeks and then go shopping with a friend who can be trusted to be realistic about what you look fab in and what you don't.

Also have you thought about a universal contour wrap the day before the party? Def helps you lose the odd lump or bump, albeit temporarily, for a confidence boost on the night. Fake tan (not too much obviously) and for the final 24 hours before the party try hard core low carb- protein only- and you will streamline yourself. If you have lost a bit already plus a the stuff above, a great outfit and have your hair done, I am sure you will look great.

You can make yourself look and feel a whole lot better. Get this book, I've used this a few times. Its a 2 week plan to beat the bloat and does all the beauty plan, exercise and food diary. Get this version though and not the newer one as the old version spells out what to do and eat on each day, you don't need to think just follow!

www.amazon.co.uk/Fabulous-Fortnight-Monica-Grenfell/dp/0330353683/ref=la_B0034NHZ9O_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365974593&sr=1-1

When you've got a couple of weeks to go head somewhere like John Lewis or a more traditional underwear shop, I find they tend to be quite friendly and get some decent shapewear. Forget spanx and the like, a more old fashioned style 'body' contraption, a proper girdle,which holds everything in without it popping out elsewhere is best. They also give a lovely smooth line under clothes and tend to force you to stand up straight!

Losing the bloat, tidying yourself up and getting a nice new haircut and outfit will make you feel fab. The problem with waiting until you loose all the weight to feel better means you have no motivation to get there as it seems like such a slog so you don't even start. You can be the belle of your 40th ball!

Bogey, I go back to work in 6 weeks and really need to get my finger out to have any hope of fitting into my pre-baby clothes.

Let me know if you fancy a joint effort!

Happy to!

Put in what I ate yesterday to my fitness and was horrified to find that I got through almost 3000 calories! I didn't think I ate that much but then I remembered the mini roll, the hula hoops and crucially, 3 cans of coke........

Today I have eaten a proper lunch, a proper dinner and had a couple of snacks and havent even hit 1500 yet. Such a difference, I had no idea!

Hi bogey, I think you've got the answer already!!! It's so easy to forget what you've eaten and a simple way of writing everything down is such a good motivator .. I lost three stone using fitness pal cos you feel good putting in your exercise too...good luck..and re the party..remember you will look fab anyway because you'll have that happy glow that people get when surrounded by loved ones...only thing is ..I hate to tell you but ..er .. You do know you've got a bogey on your face don't you?!

I am sure you look just lovely and please don't cancel your party

I may get flamed for this but I lost over a stone in 6 weeks on the Dukan Diet. It's a bit hard at first but it really does work if you can stick to it

But just remember, your friends and family love you. They want to celebrate your birthday with you and would be so sad if you cancelled. Plus I bet most of your female friends don't feel confident about how they look and are having similar dress issues due to the hideous media we are bombarded with

Have a lovely birthday x

I know how you feel i recently went back to work and felt so jealous of all the pretty skinny girls (i mean really horribly jealous) i went straight onto weight watchers and joined. I've lost half a stone in 3 weeks quite easily maybe you could try it? just the half stone has made me feel much better though i have much more to go.

Sounds like you have made a great start Bogey! Halving your calorie intake each day will make a huge difference! Well done.

Thanks guys :)

I dont suppose it helps that my best friend is naturally skinny and if she is not careful she drops to a 6/8 and has to really work hard to "bulk" back up to a size 10! My sister is about the same size as my but is 3 inches taller which I think makes a huge difference. A tall size 18 person actually looks about a 14 as they are in better proportion. That and the fact that she is absolutely stunning (be a spa manager helps there, she uses the most expensive products you can buy!).

ah well, feeling better about myself now I know what the problem is. I will cut down to 2000 a day and then do 2 fast days for the first week, then up it to 3 if I can.

Thanks again and I wonder if I could change the thread title to "Bogey's Birthday Challenge" :o

I bet you look gorgeous! But I know how it is when you're not happy with yourself so you feel that you look awful.

I bet if you started slimming world today you could get at least a stone of that weight off in the next month. My sister started sw 2 weeks ago, she was a size 18 too at the start and has already lost over 10lbs and its really made a difference already. A friend has lost 4 stone in 6 months and gone from a size 18 to an 8. It's definitely do able if you are determined.

Bogey I'm right there with you! I wouldn't worry about the fasting days tho, if you're cutting out the crap and going from 3000 calories a day to under 2000 that's 7000 less a week, the weight will steadily start coming off anyway.

Definitely change to a fabby positive thread title and maybe a wee move to Style and beauty? :)

Great thread, go for it Bogey, I also hate photos now I am larger (my boobs look like they are half of my body!) Anyway, to anyone doing the fasting thing.....what do the fasting days feel like? I worry that I will get to 4pm and just stuff my face!

1st fast day

Coffee
1 tin weight watchers chicken noodle soup (looks like sick only not so tasty :o) 51 cal
2 crispbreads 54 cal
Celery for snacks 21 cal
Prawn Salad for dinner 120 cal

thats quite low isnt it?! Think I might treat myself and add an apple and a banana to that!

It is amazing when we add it up how many calories we go through without even realising it.
I hit 40 and really didn't want to hit 41 overweight.
I joined WW and lost 2 1/2 stone in 4 months. That was 4 years ago and I've maintained that loss.
I never ever wanna go back to how I was.
Like you, my motivations was, I got on the scales and weighed more than when I was 9 months pregnant (11 years previously).
Keep going with MFP and keep a track of things.
Keep mixing up your menu and keep starchy carbs to a minimum.

You'll look fab anyway so you enjoy it and just get to your goal before you hit 41! Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful birthday party!

Good luck with your diet - MFP is very good as you log everything you eat and sometimes you can see how much you have eaten without realising (and this is where I found out that houmous is not some kind of miracle health food and a whole pot of it has 800 cals, fgs).

But apart from that, even if it all goes tits up and you don't lose much weight, don't cancel your party. Your friends love you and will want to see you, if they are good people they won't give a shit what you look like.

Hi bogey,

I do alternate day fasting because I struggle to moderate what I'm eating, I drink a couple I'd cups of tea or coffee throughout the day to keep every levels up and stave off hunger.

It is working really we for me, I have found that I don't gorge on my in days as my stomach had shrunk from the day before.
So far I've gone from a size 28 ish to an 18

There is diet support threads in here

Good luck

Oh Em Gee !! (as DD puts on her FB!)

I have lost 6.5 pounds! In a week!

I am LOVING this fasting thing :o

Wow! That's amazing. Good work there.

I have to admit I was very sceptical, especially as I accidentally had a McDonalds on Wednesday , but as Delboy says, what can't speak can't lie!

Well done on the weight loss, I am 5 stones heavier than the day I had ds1, ds3 just turned 22 so I really ought to do something about it as I turn 50 next year :-(
Might try the two days fasting too, do you do them together or at different points through the week? x

on phone so can't link, but there is a fab video doing the rounds on Facebook at the moment where a forensic artist draws people without seeing them based on their description of themselves, and then draw a picture of them based on the description someone else gives of them. It's really fascinating. I think Dove might have something to do with it. By all means, diet and do everything else that will make you feel good about yourself, but bear in mind that we are our own worst critics, your friends and family will only care that you are there to celebrate with them!

Hi op fantastic news in the weightloss!

Are you sure you are a size 18? I used to work in retail and the amount of women who thought they were a size 18 but were actually a 16 or in some styles could wear a 14 was astounding.

If you decide not to wear your favourite dress if you go somewhere like debenhams where they have free personal shoppers or a store where the staff really know their stock they should be able to pick something that you might overlook yourself but you look amazing in.

I know I will sound odd for this but I find hoovering in stilettos or wearing wrist and ankle weights while cleaning is a really easy way to tone up

Also, body wraps are great for a short term inch loss boost!