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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DP is being an idiot?

58 replies

honeytea · 13/04/2013 17:41

I am not sure if I should say something to dp when he comes home.

DP has taken 3 month old ds to watch the ice hockey at a family member's house, it is the 1st time he has taken the baby out without me. I was skyping with my mum when they left and I said I would come over after we had finished chatting (they were only over the road.) I called dp and said actually maybe I should just stay at home and tidy up and cook dinner, he said great, he will bring ds home if he gets hungry.

I called dp about 45 mins after they left (when I was finished talking to my mum) to ask him to buy some rice from the shop on their way home, dp said have you tidied up, I said no not yet, he shouted "well get your lazy arse off the sofa and tidy up, I am looking after ds you should be doing something" I fully intended to tidy up I was just thinking ahead about dinner. I pointed out that I look after ds 24/7 (and I love it) and I have done a quick tidy round today already where as he has done nothing.

So I hung up and opened a can of low alcohol bear and mumsnetted for a while. They still are not home, dp text to say ds was asleep and he will buy the rice on the way home.

Dp is usually lovely and we share housework, he has a very sore back at the moment. AIBU to think he was wrong to talk to me like that? There was no hint of a joke in the tone of his voice he was serious.

OP posts:
AtrociousYoni · 13/04/2013 21:55

LouLou, that is really not ok. He calls you fat because he knows it upsets you, he uses your phone to download porn knowing you don't like it. In return you break his stuff and snip his clothes? With just those examples you must see that it doesn't appear 'normal'? Hmm

SweetSeraphim · 13/04/2013 21:59

I never understand this attitude - yes, you've been a dick, but get me a present and it's all good Hmm

Forget the present - stop being a dick Confused

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:02

From two comments you judge a relationship that you know nothing about, dont judge me or my DP.

Callisto · 13/04/2013 22:04

Don't advise other posters to do weird childish stuff like you and your partner do to each other then.

Lucyellensmum95 · 13/04/2013 22:04

Loulou - how old are you? i mean, really? Why would you DO that?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/04/2013 22:14

do you have dc's lou?

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 13/04/2013 22:18

Fucking hell LouLou, sounds like you're well suited.

5318008 · 13/04/2013 22:19

Loulou that really is not normal, at ALL, none of it

Sad
SirBoobAlot · 13/04/2013 22:20

He calls you fat because he knows it's a sensitive point for you. He downloads porn onto your new phone because he knows you don't like it.

You loosen his buttons and break his video disks.

Yep. I'm judging. Because that is fucking horrible on both sides.

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:33

Its harmless between us. Nothing nasty. I didnt go into long explanations as did not deem it necessary, clearly it was but I didnt expect it to be taken badly as obviously I am the one in the relationship. You don't need to concern yourselves and highjack someone else's thread.

SorryMyLollipop · 13/04/2013 22:43

Loulou, seriously such behaviour is really not normal, it's childish, spiteful and just plain dysfunctional.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/04/2013 22:45

good luck to your dc's lou

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:46

I don't remember posting a thread asking for advice?! [Angry]

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:47
Angry
LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:50

How lovely that this thread is full of condescending nit wits.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 13/04/2013 22:51

Loulou, you felt the need to share. Other people felt the need to comment. Your relationship sounds really unhealthy, and no, 'other grown adults' don't do that to each other. They talk.

johnworf · 13/04/2013 22:56

I think your DP was very wrong to speak to you like that OP. Hope he apologies properly and doesn't just bring you some flowers from the garage.

Have you managed to ask him why he was so horrid to you?

PatriciaHolm · 13/04/2013 23:00

Nobody's being a "condescending nitwit". You posted suggesting that what you and your DP do is normal, and what "grown adults" do to each other.

A number of others suggested that no, this isn't normal. Most people in healthy relationships don't call their partners fat or download porn if they know their partners don't like it. Most people don't snip buttons on peoples clothes, or break game DVDs. You may protest all you like, but the majority of good relationships don't work like that. It all sounds very over the top and melodramatic.

OxfordBags · 13/04/2013 23:06

If that's a healthy relationship, I want to be sick Hmm

MrsOakenshield · 13/04/2013 23:10

if this is completely out of character, OP (to get back to you for a mo), could it be he is in a lot of pain from his back - not an excuse, but maybe a reason?

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 23:11

Gosh you lot are hard work. So....
He knows I am not fat he adores my body. Im a size 10 for goodness sake! We were bickering and he said it. Thats all. I played a joke on him to get him back, but not in a malicious way. It was a JOKE as in haha!
If any woman on here believe s her other half does not look at porn then they need to wise up. He did not intentionally download it, my phone automatically downloads, ie PDF's etc. I did not fancy entertaining nosey neighbours with a lengthy discussion about porn at midnight and yes I acted oh so immaturely and broke a disc. Heaven forbid!

ExcuseTypos · 13/04/2013 23:18

Actually Lou not all men do look at porn, maybe you ought to try hanging out with a few. There are plenty of them around you know.

olgaga · 13/04/2013 23:20

DP has taken 3 month old ds to watch the ice hockey at a family member's house, it is the 1st time he has taken the baby out without me.

Was he on the phone in front of other people when he said this to you? I wonder if he was feeling the need to show others that "he wears the trousers" even though he had the baby with him?

Either way, he sounds like a complete dick.

olgaga · 13/04/2013 23:21

LouLou you sound about 16.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/04/2013 23:24

olgaga that's unfair to 16 year olds

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