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AIBU?

To think DP is being an idiot?

58 replies

honeytea · 13/04/2013 17:41

I am not sure if I should say something to dp when he comes home.

DP has taken 3 month old ds to watch the ice hockey at a family member's house, it is the 1st time he has taken the baby out without me. I was skyping with my mum when they left and I said I would come over after we had finished chatting (they were only over the road.) I called dp and said actually maybe I should just stay at home and tidy up and cook dinner, he said great, he will bring ds home if he gets hungry.

I called dp about 45 mins after they left (when I was finished talking to my mum) to ask him to buy some rice from the shop on their way home, dp said have you tidied up, I said no not yet, he shouted "well get your lazy arse off the sofa and tidy up, I am looking after ds you should be doing something" I fully intended to tidy up I was just thinking ahead about dinner. I pointed out that I look after ds 24/7 (and I love it) and I have done a quick tidy round today already where as he has done nothing.

So I hung up and opened a can of low alcohol bear and mumsnetted for a while. They still are not home, dp text to say ds was asleep and he will buy the rice on the way home.

Dp is usually lovely and we share housework, he has a very sore back at the moment. AIBU to think he was wrong to talk to me like that? There was no hint of a joke in the tone of his voice he was serious.

OP posts:

Report

olgaga · 14/04/2013 21:57

Well it's up to you OP but I think his attitude stinks!

honeytea · 14/04/2013 13:39

I don't think he was doing it to impress his family because they don't speak English.

Ds got up at 5.30 dp gets up with ds at the weekends so I think the 5.30 wake up was karma!

OP posts:

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 23:36

Baskingseals sorry typo.

IsThatTrue · 13/04/2013 23:36

Back to the point honeytea I would think it was some sort of bravado in front of his family tbh. Have a chat with him YANBU and he needs to know that this is not ok.

baskingseals · 13/04/2013 23:35

anytime loulou

ganging up is so school playground
didn't like it then
don't like it now

play nice girls

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 23:31

Ta bakingseal

olgaga · 13/04/2013 23:29

hobnobs you are right, I apologise.

My DD is 12 and she would never come out with rubbish like that.

baskingseals · 13/04/2013 23:26

loulou

i chuck dh's shoes outside - quite far as i have a good aim and then blame it on the dog.

i have also used somebody's toothbrush to clean the loo with.

HTH

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/04/2013 23:24

olgaga that's unfair to 16 year olds

olgaga · 13/04/2013 23:21

LouLou you sound about 16.

olgaga · 13/04/2013 23:20

DP has taken 3 month old ds to watch the ice hockey at a family member's house, it is the 1st time he has taken the baby out without me.

Was he on the phone in front of other people when he said this to you? I wonder if he was feeling the need to show others that "he wears the trousers" even though he had the baby with him?

Either way, he sounds like a complete dick.

ExcuseTypos · 13/04/2013 23:18

Actually Lou not all men do look at porn, maybe you ought to try hanging out with a few. There are plenty of them around you know.

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 23:11

Gosh you lot are hard work. So....
He knows I am not fat he adores my body. Im a size 10 for goodness sake! We were bickering and he said it. Thats all. I played a joke on him to get him back, but not in a malicious way. It was a JOKE as in haha!
If any woman on here believe s her other half does not look at porn then they need to wise up. He did not intentionally download it, my phone automatically downloads, ie PDF's etc. I did not fancy entertaining nosey neighbours with a lengthy discussion about porn at midnight and yes I acted oh so immaturely and broke a disc. Heaven forbid!

MrsOakenshield · 13/04/2013 23:10

if this is completely out of character, OP (to get back to you for a mo), could it be he is in a lot of pain from his back - not an excuse, but maybe a reason?

OxfordBags · 13/04/2013 23:06

If that's a healthy relationship, I want to be sick

PatriciaHolm · 13/04/2013 23:00

Nobody's being a "condescending nitwit". You posted suggesting that what you and your DP do is normal, and what "grown adults" do to each other.

A number of others suggested that no, this isn't normal. Most people in healthy relationships don't call their partners fat or download porn if they know their partners don't like it. Most people don't snip buttons on peoples clothes, or break game DVDs. You may protest all you like, but the majority of good relationships don't work like that. It all sounds very over the top and melodramatic.

johnworf · 13/04/2013 22:56

I think your DP was very wrong to speak to you like that OP. Hope he apologies properly and doesn't just bring you some flowers from the garage.

Have you managed to ask him why he was so horrid to you?

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 13/04/2013 22:51

Loulou, you felt the need to share. Other people felt the need to comment. Your relationship sounds really unhealthy, and no, 'other grown adults' don't do that to each other. They talk.

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:50

How lovely that this thread is full of condescending nit wits.

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:47

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:46

I don't remember posting a thread asking for advice?! [Angry]

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/04/2013 22:45

good luck to your dc's lou

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SorryMyLollipop · 13/04/2013 22:43

Loulou, seriously such behaviour is really not normal, it's childish, spiteful and just plain dysfunctional.

LouLouH · 13/04/2013 22:33

Its harmless between us. Nothing nasty. I didnt go into long explanations as did not deem it necessary, clearly it was but I didnt expect it to be taken badly as obviously I am the one in the relationship. You don't need to concern yourselves and highjack someone else's thread.

SirBoobAlot · 13/04/2013 22:20

He calls you fat because he knows it's a sensitive point for you. He downloads porn onto your new phone because he knows you don't like it.

You loosen his buttons and break his video disks.

Yep. I'm judging. Because that is fucking horrible on both sides.

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