Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with DP

78 replies

ruledbyheart · 13/04/2013 11:44

Today is the last day I can spend any fun time with my DCs before they go back to school so I said they can do whatever they want, it was a decision between all of them that they want to go to Macdonalds, fair enough they don't go often and I said anything they wanted.

Told DP the plan as he will be driving as I haven't passed my test yet, and he is whinging saying no because he is on a diet and its not fair to tempt him.

The car is a joint purchase, I pay for the insurance/ fuel etc and when he isn't at work he had agreed to let me use it as I wish with him as driver.

I'm so pissed off, I want Macdonalds too now and at 5 months pregnant I want to eat what I want.

Its not my fault he is on yet another diet, he is the one who eats shit most of the time and puts the weight on then decides because he is on a diet I'm not allowed shit food in the house so the rest of us have to go without.

I have 3 disappointed DC and a sulking DP.
AIBU to think he should suck it up and stick to the deal?
I'm not forcing him to eat.

Btw this diet is a thing that he only sticks to, to suit himself.

OP posts:
TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:53

I'd let him know that I would walk & it's not on...being pregnant does not mean you have to be treated badly because you 'need' the other partner more.

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:54

(if anything it should be the other way around & I feel quite Sad for you that it's not. Have you got an ok support network? Friends? family? )

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 15:47

Hope you're ok OP Thanks

Original poster
ruledbyheart · 13/04/2013 16:03

He is a man child if anything, not controlling but will tantrum if he doesn't get his own way, thankfully I can stand on my own two feet if needs be and don't depend on him other than the driving aspect and thats not for long as my test is booked.

Had a great time in the end had a walk through town and stopped at greggs then walked back through the park which was nice, DP has been back and done all the housework so not all bad, just wish he would grow up a bit.

OP posts:
TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 16:39

Well if he does know that & you feel ok in yourself then I hope it's just a bit of a wobble. It may just be a (bad) reaction to the drastic changes that are about to happen to you both. (I know you have DC already but it's different when it's your own & that new baby stage is incredibly challenging as well as amazing) Smile

Hopasholic · 13/04/2013 17:29

Personally, I'd be getting the chip pan on Grin

Bobyan · 13/04/2013 18:09

You shouldn't even have to think about standing on your own two feet when you are six months pregnant with his child.

I'm sorry but "Man child" is just another way of saying dick head.

silverbaubles33 · 13/04/2013 18:22

With respect, Worra you missed the point I was making which was that I found it ironic that eating shit food was a treat. Personally, i wouldn't give my dog McDonalds. That's all.

I totally agree that willpower is an alien concept to many, and that to ban cakes or ice-cream or cheese or whatever from the rest of the family because one person can't consume sensible quantities, is selfish and self-defeating.

Sorry to derail a thread about an unreasonable childish DP with an anti-junk-food-po-faced comment... Hope your afternoon has been fun whatever you decided, OP!

pictish · 13/04/2013 18:36

not controlling but will tantrum if he doesn't get his own way

And it works too. The trip to McDonalds was completely sabotaged wasn't it?

And that, OP, is being controlling.

maddening · 13/04/2013 19:55

Can't he drop you off and go and do the weekly shop?

LessMissAbs · 13/04/2013 19:57

Told DP the plan as he will be driving as I haven't passed my test yet

Can hardly be news to him then, can it?

Why not cycle, or walk, or bus?

LessMissAbs · 13/04/2013 19:59

Perhaps give the cycling a miss at six months pregnant!

LindyHemming · 13/04/2013 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PhallicGiraffe · 13/04/2013 20:04

YABU for eating such crap food, and letting your children eat it too. High fat, high carb, high sugar, mass produced junk with as much nutritional value as a wet fart.

LindyHemming · 13/04/2013 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wannabestepfordwife · 13/04/2013 21:13

Op having a tantrum to get what he wants is controlling manipulative behaviour.

What do your friends and ex think of him or do you feel unable to vent to them?

swallowedAfly · 14/04/2013 08:13

yes 6months pregnant woman why don't you cycle to mcds with three young children attached to said cycle somehow? ffs Grin

having a tantrum IS controlling behaviour. that's why toddlers do it - they don't have any real, effective, mature control over the world so they throw a tantrum as the only power available to them and it sometimes works extremely well hence repeating the behaviour.

OP i hope you have good friends and family around you.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 14/04/2013 10:32

Macdonalds is fine once in a while, provided it isn't just a variation of what you have at home.
Ie. if meals at home are often with chips, nuggets, fried things and short on vegetables then you have a problem.
If what you eat at home is fresh meat and fish, cooked properly and served with lots of veg and snacks are fruit and a bit of baking rather than crisps /biscuits/fizzy drinks and chocolate, then a macdonalds occasionally isn't going to do you any harm.

Original poster
ruledbyheart · 14/04/2013 10:56

Yes I think I shall let my 4/3/2yr old DC cycle along a motorway to have some lunch Hmm

And the thread wasn't asking for people's opinions on whether I should let my children have Macdonalds or not, you wouldn't let yours fair enough but in my house it is a treat.

DP is a twat at times but thankfully its only trivial stuff most of the time and it doesn't last, he knows he was in the wrong and has tried making up for it.

The stress of a new baby is getting to him I think, he hasn't had to deal with this stage before and was living with his mum previously so isn't used to not getting his own way and is still getting used to life as a responsible adult.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 14/04/2013 11:20

just to check - when you say 'he knows he was in the wrong' - does that mean he has actually said so and apologised?

digerd · 14/04/2013 11:25

It does say lots good about him that he took on your 3 DCs when they were 2,1, and babe in arms/not yet born. Full credit to him for that.

I think it will be the addition of his DC that is making the total to 4 and could be worried about the financial side as well as the rest.

But it was selfish and mean of him re Macdonalds.

Him having done all the housework when you got back, shows he is remorseful, even if he didn't say sorry, which I don't imagine he did.

Does he really need to diet? Very likely it is making him grumpy.

It would me.

Loulybelle · 14/04/2013 11:47

Hes just being a tit.

I was on a 600 calorie a day diet for 8 weeks, in those 8 weeks dd went to Maccy D's twice, both times i managed to not have anything.

Irony now, cannot stand McD's because it makes me sick/

Original poster
ruledbyheart · 14/04/2013 11:50

He did say sorry and spend last night trying to make up for it (he made pizzas with DCs).
DC were only little when he took them on and is a really parent to them as well as accepts my ex as part of our lives for the kids sake, and has dealt with a lot so he is a good man mostly.

I don't believe he needs to diet but he does have low self image.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 14/04/2013 11:56

i'm glad he actually said it. i think that does matter -admitting you were out of order rather than just expecting to sweep it away with a bit of do gooding.

digerd · 14/04/2013 14:03

Wow. Never known a man to say sorry, ever.

But action speaks more than words do.
Yes, my opinion is that he is a very good man in many ways and nobody is perfect.

That Macdonalds incident was a 'blip'.

My dad sulked when mum gave him a salad in summer once and said
"This is rabbits food".

Tell him he's lovely as he is and you wouldn't want him to be any thinner< or feel grumpy with hunger>.