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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off with DP

78 replies

ruledbyheart · 13/04/2013 11:44

Today is the last day I can spend any fun time with my DCs before they go back to school so I said they can do whatever they want, it was a decision between all of them that they want to go to Macdonalds, fair enough they don't go often and I said anything they wanted.

Told DP the plan as he will be driving as I haven't passed my test yet, and he is whinging saying no because he is on a diet and its not fair to tempt him.

The car is a joint purchase, I pay for the insurance/ fuel etc and when he isn't at work he had agreed to let me use it as I wish with him as driver.

I'm so pissed off, I want Macdonalds too now and at 5 months pregnant I want to eat what I want.

Its not my fault he is on yet another diet, he is the one who eats shit most of the time and puts the weight on then decides because he is on a diet I'm not allowed shit food in the house so the rest of us have to go without.

I have 3 disappointed DC and a sulking DP.
AIBU to think he should suck it up and stick to the deal?
I'm not forcing him to eat.

Btw this diet is a thing that he only sticks to, to suit himself.

OP posts:

Pigsmummy · 13/04/2013 12:11

I want a Macdonalds now?!

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:12

He's sulking because he chose to dive into a diet & is annoyed that you're all a bit miffed by his reaction?

I think you have bigger issues here. He sounds a tad selfish & immature, sorry.

Surely he bloody knows that McDonald's do a few healthy-ish things? Or he could've taken you, gone somewhere else & come back when you were done?

I wouldn't actually entertain the sulking off response. It's one of my biggest peeves when adults can't handle a situation like an adult .

PuppyMonkey · 13/04/2013 12:12

The chilli chicken wraps are gorgeous. Your DP is a knob.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/04/2013 12:12

pictish - partly, but also the fact that she doesn't drive and can't manage public transport with all the DCs puts him in a position of power too.

Machli · 13/04/2013 12:13

He's a selfish twat.

My ex also was a selfish twat. It was my policy never to allow my dc or myself to be affected. Come hell or high water I would be tucking into a McDonalds this afternoon.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight · 13/04/2013 12:14

Yep selfish twat indeed, to fuck off in the car after saying no is childish

bet he's gone to get a maccy d'd

silverbaubles33 · 13/04/2013 12:14

I'm not allowed shit food in the house so the rest of us have to go without.

Is it me or is this not ironic that you are not 'allowed' to eat 'shit food' and feel you are 'going without?'

Cravingdairy · 13/04/2013 12:15

He can take you to McDs and then go off and do his own thing. With three under 5s you would think he would bite your hand off for time to himself. Unless he already gets plenty and OP picks up all the slack which sounds very possible.

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:16

He's also 'violated' the terms of your car agreement! Cheeky git

Machli · 13/04/2013 12:16

Agree swallowed.

swallowedAfly · 13/04/2013 12:18

and by storming off in the car he's basically left you trapped in the house with three young kids and 6months pregnant. nice one! what a tosser.

5318008 · 13/04/2013 12:19

are the children his?

you have bigger problems than a partner who doesn't want to help make a nice day for them I feel

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:21

He can't even blame pregnancy hormones...

I know that if my dad had done that to me, and I was any age under ten, it would've been a tragedy & i'd have hated him for at least a week

But seriously, what little you've said is actually very worrying.

What makes him think he can behave like that?

WorraLiberty · 13/04/2013 12:24

Is it me or is this not ironic that you are not 'allowed' to eat 'shit food' and feel you are 'going without?'

She's an adult and should be 'allowed' any food she likes.

This sort of attitude seems to be rife on MN. I've lost count of the amount of posters on a diet who say they never keep biscuits/sweets/treats in the house because of 'temptation'.

It's selfish because it means they get to dictate that the rest of the family can't have these treats, because one person has no willpower.

Removal of temptation really isn't the answer if someone is to successfully lose weight and keep it off.

pictish · 13/04/2013 12:26

So...not only has he put the kybosh on the Maccy Ds idea, he has made damn sure none of you can enjoy anything else too, but fucking off in the car.

All because the priority was what the kids wanted, rather than him.

He sounds lovely!

Pandemoniaa · 13/04/2013 12:27

YANBU. The lack of consensus in these cases is always saddening. Sure, your DP is on a diet but actually, people on diets do have to cope with the non-dieting world. Also, it seems like a very sudden decision based, as much as anything on him not wanting to take you to McDs. He's not obligated to eat his on weight in junk food just because the rest of the family would like to go there. It all comes across as controlling, tbh, since he knows that without him to drive you there, the outing isn't practical.

It seems like such a minor thing to cause such grief over too.

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:29

would like to add when I'm on a diet I wouldn't dream of telling DP he had to stop eating certain things in front of me or not have them in the house though I might ask him to move them if they were on the counter etc as I do lack willpower aha

Bobyan · 13/04/2013 12:33

The car is a joint purchase, I pay for the insurance/ fuel etc and when he isn't at work he had agreed to let me use it as I wish with him as driver

Wouldn't concentrating on passing your test be a lot less hassle than paying for a car and "driver" who gets in a strop and buggers off?
I have a feeling that this incident is only the tip of the iceberg regarding his behaviour and I don't envy you choosing to have 4 dcs with someone like this.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 13/04/2013 12:39

No the DC aren't his biologically but has been involved for 2 years so classes himself a parent.

Yes he is being pathetic and selfish, its the tip of the iceberg of issues at the moment but we are meant to be sorting these lovely traits out (these are recent traits since I've been pregnant).

Going to get sorted out and take a walk into town with the DC and hope that greggs is open for some greasy fatty sausage rolls.

OP posts:

verytellytubby · 13/04/2013 12:39

Pass your driving test as soon as possible so you are not dependent on a selfish arsehole.

We went to Macdonalds yesterday as kids were desperate to go (they even had a fruit shoot shock horror ) and I had a cuppa as I hate the food and I'm on Weightwatchers. He needs to grow the fuck up.

TheYoniKeeper · 13/04/2013 12:44

Sorry but that REALLY is not comforting.

Hate to be a scare monger but it's dead fishy that it's started since you were pregnant with his DC. Do you feel that he has somehow 'got/trapped' you now that you're pregnant? Like he feels he can get away with more as you need his support now more than ever? I bloody hope not

pictish · 13/04/2013 12:44

Yes...interestingly, controlling behaviour often starts when a woman is pg, or has had their first baby with their partner.

He knows you're not about to get up and walk off, what with a baby in your tum, so he feels confident to show who he really is, and step up the control. You are committed to him now, so he can relax the whole reasonable guy routine and get on with tuling the roost.

pictish · 13/04/2013 12:46

ruling the roost

For fuck sake MN, get an edit facility on the go will you? Even a short 10 minute window one.

Bobyan · 13/04/2013 12:47

Pictish has summed it up perfectly. Stop paying anything more toward the car and start contingency planning in case things don't work out.

swallowedAfly · 13/04/2013 12:50

more likely he sees her as more trapped now so the true colours can come out.

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