AIBU to freak out? please help, i dont know how to handle..

[CocacolaMum]

My daughter is 7 and over at her 7yr old cousins house for a sleepover

My sis in law just sent me the following message...

I think you need to have a word with Jenny
We left Jenny and Andy in kitchen and they both went toilet together and I heard Jenny say to Andy do you want to see my (you know what ) then I heard her say I don't have a willy can I touch yours , then whilst I was at shops Simon had them in the bath and he nipped downstairs but could hear them on monitor and heard her say shall we kiss with tongue, so Simon went up and saw them kissing with tongue and Jenny said Andy's willy went hard .... I come back and I'm like omfg then I heard them again on the monitor making kissing noises so I went up there and told them they need to top and tale now and go to sleep ! I dunno what to do x

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY OR DO. Someone please please help.

What sock said. Boys get erections from birth, an erection on a seven or old doesn't mean anything.

My kid sbath together as well, the 8 and 5 yr old bathed together today and then ds2 (10) had a bath and 2 or old dd got in with him.

Op of course she presented it to you as all your dd. she was probably freaked out and didnt want to acknowledge her child's role in the incident

I wouldn't panic but you do need a good talk with dd tomorrow and the children do need separating tonight to be fair.

My dd has AS and needed help with appropriate touching/
boundaries etc.

You can ask dd who she would smile at, who she would wave at, who she would kiss, who she would touch and where etc, I'm sure you get the idea.
Really break it down, but obviously all very upbeat and not making dd feel she's done anything wrong.

Yes, Sockreturningpixie is right. I've got 4 sons, try and keep the erection in the context of a seven year old, it's not the same as say an adult male getting one. It's much more of a solely physical response as opposed to a mental one.

I can (vaguely) remember similar sexualised stuff with my male cousin when I was around that age. (My Nan walked in and caught us which was really embarrassing - we both knew we were doing something 'naughty' even at that age.)

I would try not to panic too much - it is pretty normal exploratory behaviour IMHO

thank you for your replies. DD is fast asleep on the sofa apparently and SIL had the baby monitor in the room when they were upstairs together so I know nothing else has happened. Starting to calm a bit now.

I really don't think anything sinister has happened with dd, shes a very bubbly outgoing kid - dd is very intelligent for her age (and therefore is a total sponge) and has been body aware for a while now in the sense that she has asked me about periods and a bra - her best friend has a big sister who is 13 and best friend has a bra apparently. She doesn't really spend time with any of her friends out of school though. My DS is 12 so its possible he has talked about that stuff in front of DD!? He is still of the opinion that girls are boring though.

and for the record, I bloody hate that she is growing up.

I'm glad you're calmer, I agree there's nothing sinister. She is obviously a bright, inquisitive child.
I would still have a chat about touching and boundaries though, it won't do any harm.

Op when I was about 6 my mother cought me poking her friends sons willy with a pencil ( he was also 6) and saying " if I kiss you will I be able to catch a baby seed"

At 6 I thought 'sexing' was a actual thing that involved only kissing and something like a jelly baby came out of the boys willy the lady cought it and put it in her belly button and it grew into a proper baby.

He did let me kiss him the next day. I then announced to my mum that I was having a baby apparently this meant I had to have brown bread instead of white and the baby would be arriving in about 2 days.

OMG sock the jelly baby! Bless you!

Sock that made me smile thank you x

DD was talking to my SIL about her Csection the other day and after hearing an admittedly fluffy version of how/why a Csection happens has decided she never wants children.. she is pretty sure that women lay eggs and then a man pees on the egg tho and then the woman eats the egg and grows a baby..

That's funny.

If its any help I also thought I had to move into the stable as that's where lady's go to give birth that the vet was a wise man who brought 2 other vets with him to get the baby out (again via belly button) and that god would come and name the baby.

I'm also still friends with my partner in crime and after we lost interest in the kissing (3 hours after we gained an interest and about the same time we were sat down to be shown the osbourne book of baby's and biology) we have never even thought of anything even remotely rude or sexual and our biggest crime since was the great curly wirly shop lifting incident of 1980.

I also played mummies and daddies with a couple of different boys who were family friends at this age, and to my utter mortification, one of them mentioned it a few years ago in the pub! We just used to do silly stuff like look at each others privates, or touch bits, we had no idea what real sex was like but did know it involved 'rude bits'. Our Sindy dolls and Action men also did the same 'rudey things'. It only happened a handful of times, and probably around that age. I don't think your dd is precocious, she has probably heard about things like 'kissing with tongues' at school or from an older sibling and hasn't got a clue what it means.

I think it is worth having a chat with her about privates being really private and not letting anyone else touch them (except for medical reasons of course), but don't make a big deal of it, children experimenting is really usual but I guess in the days of baby monitors the parents get to hear things that perhaps in the past were more hidden.

I just wanted to say thanks again for all of your replies. Well, most of them anyway. It was/is a bizarre situation but both my brother and I googled (a lot) last night so we have a pretty good idea now of what to say to both of the children.

Just wanted to give a quick update.
I spoke to DD on her own and she said that she had seen the kissing on Eastenders but that her cousin had been the one who had asked her.. I explained that it was not a good idea to kiss people that way until she is a grown up and she agreed. She admitted that it had been her who asked to see and touch his willy. I asked her why she felt like she wanted to do that? She then said that it was because she wanted to be a boy because her brother had said that boys are better than girls and she wanted to know if her cousin could control his willy.

I told her that I am pretty sure that all girls at some stage wonder what its like to have a willy but we all know that it would probably not be that great as all grown up women know that its WAY better to be a girl than a boy. She seemed pretty happy with this.
We had a chat about touching and I basically said that if it was somewhere covered up by her swimming costume then it was a private area and nobody should be touching her there and she should not be touching anyone else either and she must always ask me or daddy or her aunt if she has any questions about anything to do with bodies because she wouldn't ever be in trouble for asking - asking is fine, secrets are not.