AIBU or is that what playgroup is supposed to be?

[goingwildforcrayons]

Just come back from Playgroup this morning, first time took DS.

When we arrived, there was no-one obvious who looked in charge, I had to find a person and say we were new, what did we need to do, where do we sign in, fill in any forms etc. No suprise that half way through the session, a woman came round asking everyone had they signed in as there were more kids there than on the register.

The kids were just doing their own thing whilst the parents sat around stuffing their faces with toast. Kids were walking round eating toast, the playgroup leaders/organisers were walking round eating toast (AIB stuck up to think that maybe the leaders should not be walking around scoffing toast?)

Toys were just generally dumped in different piles. Kids played on their own and I didn't see any kids mixing or playing together. I didn't expect them to all stick together like glue, but none of them made eye contact, gave a toy/shared a toy/took a toy off another, followed another around or laughed together. Ages were from about 1 year to 3 years.

I thought there might have been a couple of specific activities to do, in addition to general play, such as musical instrument corner or sing song or something but there wasn't. Or does that not happen at playgroup?

I'm going to try a different one next week and see what that is like.

Will you all stop talking about toast! I am really hungry now.

Sounds like a group near us. They have toast. The Centre co-ordinator complains bitterly about the mess they leave behind. Our group comes later in the week to theirs and the toy boxes are never put away properly - many of them broken.

They had an outreach worker come out to help them after safety complaints were raised - a baby was trampled by older kids on one occasion. On another, a child threw scissors at another toddler, cutting her face. Things haven't improved and they're on the verge of being kicked out.

Honestly don't understand why some adults think they can abdicate all responsibility just because it's a playgroup.

Mine are too old for toddler groups now but I wish there had been one with toast.

There was an odd on we went to for a while, where one of the volunteers had a bairthday that day. We all had to sing happy birthday to her and all the adults were given a piece of chocolate cake. The children weren't allowed to have to cake, we were told that most firmly. They always ignored the childrens birthdays. Us mums snuck cake to our children when the overly bossy volunteers weren't looking.

at all the toast! I've never been offered toast! Or a drink on arrival either. Some of them had a cup of tea (approx one tea bag to every ten cups) at the end for an additional 50p, but that's it.
I feel cheated

Sounds pretty standard - except with toast instead of biscuits! I think you're expecting a bit too much from a group that's being run by volunteers. I've only been to a couple of those sort of groups - I'm not massively keen - but they're always just the kids getting on with it while the mums drink tea, sometimes with a sing-song at the end, or a craft table or something.

In terms of your DS making a friend, that's unlikely to happen unless you go regularly to the same group, and it's still likely to come when he's much older. DS1 has a "best friend" who he saw pretty much every day of his life until they were about 18 months and we moved further apart. He still seems him fairly regularly and calls him "my best friend" - they're nearly 4 now. The nursery staff used to comment about how they "actually played together" as babies - I didn't pick up on it being particularly unusual till much later, but I assume it is pretty rare, and probably only happened in their case because they spent so much time together that they were probably more like twins than friends.

the toddler group me and DD attend have bacon sanwiches for the mams, no structure to the group but who cares when there is bacon and tea and other grown ups!, give it a few weeks and you will soon get to know other mums and enjoy the teas and toast and chat.

Omg bacon sandwiches. Wow.

I take DD to a mums and toddlers group like this and I love it. It's very casual but it's friendly and runs all year and I prefer it to the very structured groups. DD is 2.7 and loves it. I recently moved and it's been an absolute lifeline in helping me settle in and find things locally.

We get endless tea, juice, toast and ..... CRUMPETS!!

Bacon sandwiches? I want to go to that one!

We have cake and biscuits

Def sounds like toddlers, some are brilliant, some are rubbish and some are really cliquey. Try a few and you'll hopefully find one that suits you better. I hated them as a mum, but now I'm a cm I go to a really good local one (though the woman that runs it starts every sentence with "as a commited Christian....." And that freaks me out a bit tbh)

The one I go to (in a church) is £1. In a big hall, lots of toys for all ages. No craft stuff, thank Christ. All the adults sit around the edges and the kids just go and play, run around. Tea, coffee, toast, cheese, fruit, toasted pancake, juice and party ring biscuits are provided in a seperate room. Sometimes someone brings cake

I think your over thinking this unless its the only one in your area. Where I am these things are a dime a dozen. All different, some v structured, you are not allowed to make your own cup of tea, have set time for craft, story etc. I didn't like this one but it was a change for DD as the others we went to were just run by other mums who stepped up when a previous mum didn't want to do it any more.

Its usually a bit of a free for all really and saying the DC didn't play together maybe some there would, mine did from a v early age, maybe the ones that go to that group that would play were not there that day, or not in the mood, or as others said - just not at the stage yet...

Usually people go to these things ad hoc.

However I must say I do think even a casual mum running them it would be nice if someone could recognise new people and welcome and introduce themselves if I took over/ran a play group I would certainly do this - its v daunting walking into a room of people you don't know etc.

Sounds fairly normal for a parent and toddler group that's run by volunteer parents.

IME, in my area at least, the toddler groups featuring structured activity tend to be organised by Surestarts and run by Surestart employees.

But if there's other toddler groups near you, it's worthwhile trying a few out to see which you like the best.

Ah, OP - you are one of those people who expects me and my like (the volunteers) to set up for you, provide entertainment for your child, and clear it all away again, while you mutter about us joining in the refreshments.

Try helping out yourself, whilst stuffing yourself with toast. You might look a bit less down your nose at the rest of us.