to think regulars who name change are cowards?

[ssd]

whats the bloody point??

are you so scared someone on here wont think you're great anymore?

I can understand name changing if someone has recognized you and is giving you grief, but name changing because you feel like saying something that may annoy others is pathetic

stand by your convictions people!

[isteppedinto]

This:
"Yes, I've had a bad experience with somebody who took it upon herself to out me. (She thought I deserved it) It was to punish me for posts she didn't like. There are some crazies who should know better.

MN won't let us delete our old posts, so we've no control over what's up here. Best policy is to name change very frequently imo."

And this:
"I also know quite a few people who use MN, and have realised I know who a couple of posters are, so they could likewise work out who I am - which is fine sometimes, but sometimes I may post something a bit personal that I don't want some people in my RL knowing!"

If you know quite a few MNers in RL, you can't be sure that they won't repeat what they read on here. We don't take oaths of silence.

But it's mainly the thought of crazies tracking down my dc that makes me nc. It's never happened to me (unlike whoever posted the first quote above) but it's perfectly obvious that it could happen at the drop of a hat. Mad not to take precautions against that happening imo.

[Bogeyface]

I am easily identified by people who know me irl simply by my job and family size/type, so if I want to post something that I dont want to risk getting out irl then I change my name. Sometimes I will later link to it under this name if I have then "come out" with whatever problem it was (as I did when my husband had an affair) but I prefer some things to be private, or as private as they can be when on line.

[Bogeyface]

I have never NC to air a nasty/bitchy/bullying post. I hope I have never posted like that, but anything that I know will be unpopular (the recent Thatcher threads being a good example) I will do it under this name as I havethe courage of my convictions and dont need to hide.

[LovesBeingWokenEveryNight]

Hmm I think passive aggressive goaders are worse

[shellbu]

if you want things to stay private why post it online , and what the hell is being posted if you think people are going to track down your kids lol , its just an opinion and chat site , if you dont post nasty shit you wont get abuse , if its that private you can always inbox a reply to the person, if its about you and that private keep it to yourself , if you wrote what you believe i dont see why you would want to delete old posts .

[forbetterorworsted]

I name change on here and other forums regularly.

Otherwise all it would take is a quick google and suddenly my whole life is accessible to anyone who wants to know!

[forbetterorworsted]

I name change on here and other forums regularly.

Otherwise all it would take is a quick google and suddenly my whole life is accessible to anyone who wants to know!

[hedgefund]

people do respond to you differently is they 'knew' you under a name you had used regularly, and though this is good sometimes, sometimes you just want people's opinions as if you were a newbie iykwim

so op in a way i disagree with you and thik it's cowardly NOT to namechange

[flaminhoopsaloolah]

Shellbu - you don't have to post something nasty to have a RLp be actively looking cor you online without your knowledge - life is full of crazy stalker people.

[ChocsAwayInMyGob]

if you dont post nasty shit you wont get abuse

You don't have to post nasty shit to get abused on here.

[shellbu]

flaminhoopsaloolah i know there are some crazy people out there and can imagine some getting really het up if you dont agree with them ,but how can people find out where you live and your real name from this site, im new on here , now im getting worried in case someone is pissed with me for something i said thats innocent on my behalf lol .

[aufaniae]

OP I think you have a narrow view of why people NC, for many of us it's not to say annoying things! Hopefully this thread has enlightened you?

I've been here good few years now and I NC every so often, for a number of reasons.

I have RL friends who post here too, and know who I am. Also DP knows my posting name. I NC if I'm going to talk about something sensitive, as I feel inhibited talking about very personal stuff if I think RL people might be reading it!

I also NC every so often just because I feel like it / think of a new name I like. This name relates to fertility goddesses, and I NCed to it before joining a TTC thread, after TTCing for some months already.

"are you so scared someone on here wont think you're great anymore?" I'm not here for a popularity contest! I find that a strange way of thinking tbh.

I like the anonymity of the site. I like that we can have a discussion about something and don't know who each other are. tbh sometimes I don't even look at people's names, I just read what they've said. I like the free exchange of ideas, and that even though many of us wouldn't cross paths in RL, as we come from massively different worlds, but we can have a chat without the usual societal assumptions and prejudices getting in the way. It makes it about what's being said, not the person so much, and I think this can be a good thing.

People have started recognising me with this name and I find it a bit odd tbh, I kind of assume I'm just talking into the ether and no one's really paying that much attention to what I say!

Having said that I guess I do like recognising posters from support threads (e.g. ante-natal / TTC), people I consider experts (e.g. tiktok) and posters whose political opinions I respect; also there are a handful of antagonistic bullies posters and rightwingers who I see and think "not you again!"

[aufaniae]

shellbu this is a massive site with lots of topics, try venturing out of AIBU!

People post personal stuff on all sorts of topics, it's not just about chat and debate. People also post about very personal stuff that's going on in their lives, e.g. relationships, illness, their MILs etc.

People do reveal personal info. Sometimes it's not a particular thread that would identify a person, it's all their threads together. Mumsnet is googlable. It's easy to feel we're having a cosy chat together, but actually there are many more lurkers than posters (as is true for most chat sites) and we're on a platform for all to see. The importance of protecting your identity online is something people need to be aware of - not just on mumsnet.

[isteppedinto]

I fully agree with Aufaniae's post. Shellbu, to avoid crazy people stalking you, just name-change regularly, and then no-one can put all your posts together and work out who you are in RL. It amazes me that people dont realise how easy it is to identify people from just a few posts. If people are bonkers enough to sockpuppet, they are bonkers enough to stalk.

[isteppedinto]

OK, both of Aufaniae's posts.

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

I have only NC'd for two reasons - one when I lost my log in details from my first reg, and because my Ex was stalking me online...

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

(Apart from seasonal NC's, which always have 'Couthy' in there somewhere, so I'm still 'me' IYSWIM...)

[shellbu]

aufaniae your right ive only looked at a couple of forums , and posted in a few , i dont mind if people i know know its me on here , but i wouldnt like someone to take offence and start pestering me on here then try and find out where i live and so on , find that all a bit scary , can you really find out someones name and address on here unless they have said i live in blah blah or use their own name ?

[isteppedinto]

Here's an example. There are only some areas of UK with grammar schools. So you reveal that dc are at grammar schools; in another thread you reveal that one is doing Latin at A level and is a rower. So the grammar school is near a river, offers rowing, and quite possibly declares on its website that it's the only grammar with a single sex sixth form offering Latin. Bingo. TMI as far as I'm concerned. Then you reveal your area of professional expertise ("I'm a midwife") Colleagues will immediately know it's you. That's fewer than half a dozen posts.

[Rosesforrosie]

I've had 3 major name changes.

First time because I didn't like my original name so after a few months I was starting to be embarrassed by it. Loved my second name and was going to keep it forever but then last week 2 things happened, I accidentally offended some people and got a bit of a flaming and while I was still licking my wounds about that my sister used my home PC and saw my user name, the resulting conversation was excruciating....


That was it tbh, I nearly deregged entirely, but I settled for a massive NC!

[arabesque]

I namechanged recently because a couple of people ganged up on me quite nastily over something really really trivial and it upset me and made me lose confidence in myself under that name (if that makes any sense).
I just wanted to reinvent myself and come back as a different person.

[aufaniae]

Thanks isteppedinto!

[flaminhoopsaloolah]

county gives a very good reason why some might name change...stalking exP.

[shellbu]

i take back that i said its cowardly to name change now, i was just thinking people did it to say something nasty then go back to their other name , thanks for the example isteppedinto , i just saw how you can get peoples old posts up , so yes you can go digging and find things out about them , shame there are people that get so riled up they want to hound you in real life , im going to look out the window to see if there are any suspicious looking people lurking :)