To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

[CelticPixie]

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

Forgot to say, that at the farm shop there was a family at another table with beautifully behaved children occupied with their colouring books and chatting to their parents. Loved those children!

We eat out on average twice a week at places like Harvester, Nandos, pubs, pizza restaurants, supermarket restaurants, Chinese/Indian buffets. I can't recall the last time I saw children running amok. Ok, there was a few close shaves because of children going to the toilet or to the salad bar. Hardly examples of children running around unsupervised.

But from the heated debate going on here one would think that it is a major problem in today's society.

I don't think it is a major problem- I don't often come across it. However it is obvious from this thread that a minority exercise no control and persist in thinking it is OK when they have been told, loud and clear, that it isn't.

However it is obvious from this thread that a minority exercise no control and persist in thinking it is OK when they have been told, loud and clear, that it isn't.

Perhaps this is because to accept the majority view would necessitate managing their children's behaviour in future which is clearly a lot more work than sitting back and allowing them to disturb others and make the job of the waiting staff more difficult.

Much easier to decide that your own little darlings are so adorable that everyone else must want to share them

I'm with Gold and LaQueen.

Please remember that its not always about 'nott bothering' hate to think that people with these views are wandering around ugh

What other reason is their to allow a child to wander out of arms reach in a dangerous place?

Please remember that its not always about 'nott bothering'

So if a toddler is being allowed to wander around a restaurant, disturbing other diners and getting under the feet of the waiting staff, am I really supposed to believe that their parents are desperately embarrassed, itching to stop them and bring them back to the table but for some reason feel unable to intervene?

That's like saying its lazy parenting to let your DCs play up trees and all that
Also some children want to explore
My youngest DC is so excited being in new places that he wants to have a little wander around and he's very sociable so yes he talks to people shortly, just like a very sociable adult

I'm with Gold and LaQueen too

So MsBella if the reason you don't teach your little one to sit at the table and allow them to roam and bother other diners isn't because you can't be bothered what is the reason? I'm really interested to know your reasoning.

You're implying they SHOULD be embarressed... also you're implying that they see something wrong with the behaviour of their child. Not everyone shares these views!

Hi MsBella

I asked a while back if you would blame the waitress or yourself if something hot to spilt on your DC (assuming you let them go further than arm's length away). I have seen this happen before. Who would you blame?

This is a separate issue to whether it's annoying for others vs importance of right to roam, so would be interested on your views on this.

I've never been in a restaurant with a tree in it and can't see the comparison?

also you're implying that they see something wrong with the behaviour of their child. Not everyone shares these views!

Well obviously. That's exactly what this thread is about.

At the end of the day, anything can be annoying for others, that's their own issues causing a problem for themselves

There are times and places to explore. A restaurant isn't one of them. Why can't you see that? Would you be so laid back if a waitress tripped over your child and they ended up with severe burns?

And as we are talking about toddlers letting a toddler climb up a tree without close supervision would also be pretty damn stupid too!

At the end of the day, anything can be annoying for others, that's their own issues causing a problem for themselves

But social norms say in a restaurant we sit at a table and talk quietly. People don't wander around talking to anyone they fancy (beyond a smile and a hello). People don't invite themselves to sit at other tables or stand their annoying people. I thought they were pretty widely accepted social norms yet some people seem to think they are able to make up their own rules and allow their children to do what they please rather than working to teach them acceptable behaviour for the setting.

Can you not see how that is selfish? Other people may not want to put up with your child during their meal. Waiting staff don't want to have to watch out for your child while they are being allowed to wander around.

MsBella

That's why I asked out about the safety point of view, rather than the 'annoyance' point of view. I think it's clear that you prioritise your view over others, and that's not going to change.

But who would you blame if your DC got something hot spilled on them whilst wandering? Yourself or the waitress?

i must have missed the post on here that said it was fine for children to run about screaming in a restaurant

we were in a café again yesterday no children running about screaming getting in the way of staff a few wondering about while there parents were watching them a few wondering about with toddlers who were bored sitting at the table, café very accommodating to families as it is their main business if it were really a problem for them i guess they would not be so encouraging to families not do children menus, give out colouring paper/pens I do wonder where people are going to eat

off to china town tomorrow meeting family lots of children, lots of noise and a few may shock horror not sit at the table acting like a grown up for 2 hours they may under supervision have a little wonder round look at the fish tank, live crabs and the waiter may again bring out a live lobster hope not as i felt guilty last time

LaQueen I have other DCs so of course not ffs...
Also while you lot say that I should put your views and beliefs above my own just in case someone gets 'annoyed' which really doesn't mean anything, I wonder why you can't see that different people have different opinions and views.

Not in case someone gets annoyed, in case your child gets hurt, or someone else gets hurt avoiding your toddler.

BinkyBix I'm not even going to consider that happening, you can't just say to people 'what if this happened to your dc' it is wrong! You can never put yourself in those situations until they happen, noone knows how they would feel until those terrible things happen

MsBella is studiously ignoring all the comments that might make her change her world view - eg.

The people she thinks are enjoying her sociable toddler, may be gritting their teeth, wishing she'd take the child back to her table, and are just too polite to risk a scene in the restaurant by asking.

Sociable adults do not wander round restaurants talking to strangers - that is not acceptable social behaviour, so she cannot use that as a justification for letting her sociable toddler wander around bothering other people.

However carefully she watches her child, her attention could be distracted for the brief moment in which her child could trip a waiter carrying hot food/drinks - resulting in her child, or the waiter, or another diner being injured - and she would be responsible for those injuries, because, as several people on the thread have told her, a waiter carrying a tray cannot see below knee level. People have recounted tripping over children and hurting them with hot food - but this isn't going to happen to MsBella's child.

It is not polite behaviour to wander around a restaurant, and by letting her child think it is, she is reinforcing that behaviour, and that will make it harder to teach her child that, contrary to what she's already taught him, he shouldn't wander round restaurants.