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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or was cabin crew? My child scolded herself.

289 replies

maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 19:42

Ok flying home from Easter holiday. We went with a large group of us so all four children sat in the row in front with us sitting behind them on the plane. Cabin crew come through serving hot drinks and I have my nose in a book so do not notice. All of a sudden my six year old starts to scream. She had split hot chocolate all over herself . Turns out a member of crew asked if she would like a hot drink and she asked for a hot chocolate which was given to her without a lid or my consent. A member of crew took us to the loos and dressed to burn. I asked if it is normal procedure to give a young child a hot drink without consent and a lid. She said it wasn't and they would normally get consent and even then water it down with milk and pop on a lid.

Husband wants to make a complaint but I sort of feel I was partly to blame as I was not sat with her. She still has marks on her legs five days on. So am I to blame for not sitting with her or should I make a complaint?

OP posts:
AnyoneforTurps · 07/04/2013 20:06

If they are old enough to be sat together without adult supervision, they are old enough to have a hot drink. You can't have it both ways.

Exactly.

Bearbehind · 07/04/2013 20:06

If there was a large group of you then even if you were in the toilet (again not sure how you can forget where you were whilst in a confined space when your child was injured) surely someone was watching what was happening with the children, there were 4 of them for goodness sake.

Actually not sure how many children there were, your last post implies 5 children - 10, 9, 12 and 8 plus your 6 year old sat in 4 seats?

Floggingmolly · 07/04/2013 20:06

Absolutely, montage. If the kids were out of earshot of all adults, they were not being supervised at all. As to sitting in the seats you'd been allocated, what did you think would happen if you'd swopped with members of your own family?

There was nothing to stop you re arranging the seating to suit you better.

Isityouorme · 07/04/2013 20:06

Sorry but I think you, as the parent are partly to blame for not supervising your child properly. The flight assistant is not a childminder and if she doesn't have kids, she won't be thinking about temperatures etc of drinks perhaps. Why did an older child not say anything, or the grandparents. Put it down to an accident on all parties. I hope she is all better soon.

LoveSewingBee · 07/04/2013 20:07

I doubt that the staff member realised your dc's age. Nobody would do such a thing on purpose and I assume she has apologised?

I would leave it.

Maat · 07/04/2013 20:07

As a matter of interest - did the crew member who came to your assistance record it in an accident book?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 07/04/2013 20:07

but according to the OP it's NOT normal procedure to give kids hot drinks without cooling them down a bit, so this particular air hostess made a mistake. It's not, realistically, one she's ever likely to make again, now that she's hurt a child, so that danger has well and truly passed.
it would only imo be vindictive to go after her now.
btw OP i don't think it's unusual for children to all want to sit together, or to be allowed to. but it's a bit weak to say that you didn't notice the clatter of the food trolley and all the attendant clamour of 'tea? coffee?' etc because you were reading. that definitely meant you were effectively absent, and so i think you share the blame. (as does your dh or any other adult in the group, i'm presuming you weren't the only adult?)

500internalerror · 07/04/2013 20:07

X posted a lot there, sorry! Does the 6 yr old look quite grown up? I'm just thinking if the others wre older, the steward prob made an assumption about dd age?

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 07/04/2013 20:09

I would complain/inform, not to get anything, but because I cant imagine the company policy would be other than to check with an adult, so the incident should be recorded I think.

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/04/2013 20:10

I think it was carelessness on everybody's part but what do you want to happen if you complain?
I'm another one that hates this compensation culture.

kim147 · 07/04/2013 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 07/04/2013 20:11

x-posted. she really wouldn't have known it was a 6 year old. tbh dd1 is 7 and i would give her hot chocolate with no lid... i really think you have to chalk this one up to experience. (mind you, from your first post and the fact that you haven't complained yet, i think this is the way you are leaning anyway.)

CheCazzo · 07/04/2013 20:11

I'd still like to know if the wound was bad enough to cause a blister and what your GP said when you took the child there immediately on your return?

Sirzy · 07/04/2013 20:11

How many adults in your party? and not one of them was paying enough attention to know she was ordering a hot drink?

And I agree with the person who said if they are old enough to sit on their own they are old enough to have a hot drink, you can't have it both ways.

KansasCityOctopus · 07/04/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KirstyJC · 07/04/2013 20:12

Or perhaps the person who should be in trouble is the one who didn't follow their own company's policy, as admitted by another member of staff?

And since the OP was given a seat away from her child by the airline, and didn't choose to sit elsewhere (so wasn't just not being arsed to look after her - nice comment there from another posterHmm) perhaps the airline staff should have been a bit more careful about ensuring they followed this policy.

If her DD was treated by staff for the burn, then presumably the airline will have logged the incident anyway. This isn't about blame, it is about ensuring something so potentially dangerous doesn't happen again. And presumably the airline is aware it might be dangerous as they have policies in place to ensure it doesn't happen. Which this person failed to follow. Resulting in a 6 year old with burns that needed treating and are still showing 5 days later. Sad

No-one is suggesting the OP isn't responsible for her own child, but it is pretty hard to be responsible for something which you are unaware is happening due to other adults doing something dangerous without telling you.

montage · 07/04/2013 20:13

There must be 5 children not 4 then? Or was the 12 year old not in the row with your daughter - makes it a bit less reasonable to serve them hot drinks if it was the 6,8,9 and 10 year olds.

You probably weren't in the loo or you would've noticed your dd had a hot chocolate when you came back. And you must have been back when it happened. Unless you were maybe asleep? I wouldn't just feel you are responsible for not noticing as it is surprising grandparents or other family didn't notice either.

TheChimpParadox · 07/04/2013 20:13

OP - your DH want to make a complaint - what was he doing at the time ?

formicaqueen · 07/04/2013 20:13

I think the steward should have given her a hot chocolate with extra cold milk. I would complain.

There must be some protocall about giving kids drinks/food on planes if they are sat seperatly to the adults.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 07/04/2013 20:15

"Or perhaps the person who should be in trouble is the one who didn't follow their own company's policy, as admitted by another member of staff?"

why does anyone have to be 'in trouble'?

Groovee · 07/04/2013 20:15

I ended up with a hot coffee over me thanks to an arrogant mother who taught her children her own atrocious manners. The cabin crew were serving drinks and her son came charging right up and smacked into the staff member holding the coffee. The mother got up on the commotion and refused to accept responsibility.

All the passengers were bitching about her as there had been incidents with her in the check in queue, the toilets, at burger king, in duty free, sitting on the plane. She kept ranting about her child having a wet tshirt! I asked the staff for a cup of coffee and they asked why and I responded "To chuck over her!" She soon sat down and didn't say a word getting off the plane.

At the arrivals door, she walked up to a teacher I worked with who introduced her as her sister. I told my colleague I would throw coffee over her if I ever saw her again. All I heard as I walked away was "Can't you ever manage not to upset people? If you've upset Groovee, you've been a right bitch!"

But this is why children need supervised on a plane. Age 6 isn't old enough to make full decisions with out an adult there. Next time, sit together with your children.

sapphirestar · 07/04/2013 20:15

Even if the OP had sat next to her dd though, it wouldn't have affected the temperature of the drink. Regardless of where the OP sat, the drink would still have been hot enough to scald.
The staff should have least warned her it was very hot, perhaps offered a lid or extra milk but I agree they don't need to go searching for the parent. Same as restaurant staff warn you when the plates are very hot.

That said, I wouldn't complain now that it was several days ago. I would have said something at the time, just so they might do things differently with the next child, and chalk it up to experience. Burns are horrible, but your dd wasn't seriously injured.

Original poster
maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 20:15

Yes I did fill out an incident report.
The 10 year old wanted to sit with grandparents but the kids were swopping sits alot as It was a long flight.

Thank you for all your opinions. I'm not a shit mum but we all thought the kids would have more fun sat together.
My daughter does look quite young for her age so there is now way you could confuse her for someone older.

OP posts:
TheChimpParadox · 07/04/2013 20:16

I still don't understand how the OP failed to notice the crew in front of her with trolley serving drinks and talking with her child if child was sat in row in front of her .

Freddiemisagreatshag · 07/04/2013 20:17

What did the doctor you took her to say?