To think that exp is being passive aggressive cutting ds's hair off whilst he was on his Easter holiday with him

[prettywhiteguitar]

Ds had shoulder length hair, he is 5. It was blonde and gorgeous and I thought his dad was fine with it. We both discussed that we liked long hair on boys etc....

Anyway he goes off for a week with his dad, I call to ask him about passport details for ds's passport, ex offers to get ds some passport photos and a hair cut for his photos I say ok

He comes home with a short hair cut - short back and sides

When I say oh his hairs cut off exp mutters something about him being a big boy etc

I am pissed off that he didn't mention that it would be a very short hair cut (hes always had long hair) before he came home as we were in contact and that he thought that now I'm still going to be all matey with him

Just seems sneaky to me knowing that I'll be pissed off

I'm even more pissed off as I don't mind the hair cut just the fucking sneaking around !!

Jenai I think gender is largely a social construct, and made up of what can be bizarrely specific and rigid rules. eg boys should have short hair. does that help?

I think his hair was gorgeous! Only you can really assess if it is likely your ex was trying to get at you but I wonder if your ex feels the pressure for his son to conform, rather than really wanting to get at you.

If I were you I would try to have a proper chat with your ex about it, see what he really thinks, if you are on talking terms.

I would have been a bit upset but at 5 I would expect to be led by what ds wanted and go with that (sorry I can't work out whether he likes it or wanted it cut like that from the posts... I am however dealing with sleepless baby at the same time!)

Your artwork is beautiful by the way. Really really excellent.

I think s change fr long hair to short back and sides is a radical change, and he should have checked with you. However, from the muttering it does sound as if he maybe didn't instruct the barber properly and he maybe feels a bit sheepish. Telling DS he looks a big boy also sounds like 'trying to make it ok'.

Does he often or ever try and undermine you or use pa methods? If mot, this probably was an accident. It doesn't sound as if you are daggers drawn with each other. Just ask him how it came about.

I was v upset with do when he had ds's mop of long curls cut off. He did admit, Fteruch defensive crap, that he hadn't meant to get it cut that short.

I'm sure your DS looks gorgeous whatever length his hair.

Sad to hear the comments about people not liking long hair on boys. Ds2 has long hair, his choice and I actually feel quite proud of him for being a bit different as generally he avoids the limelight iyswim. I know it's naive to imagine that everyone likes the same thing but it seems a shame that adults may be judging my 11 year olds hair

Outinallweathers - always gonna find some small minds, unfortunately.

The things people think 'should' be a certain way astound me tbh, even with very young children.

He does have form for being pa but I thought we had got past that. Ds is happy with his hair but I am surprised as the usual thing we do I'd go to the hairdresser he knows and he talks to her about what he wants so I think he would have asked her to cut it. Anyways I think I will have a quick conversation with exp and see what the story was cause it could have been a mistake etc and I'd like to keep it amicable for my own sanity !

And thanks Fairylea For the compliment,I have new stuff on here and a Facebook page, been doing portraits for a couple of years now
samanthasnowdenartist.wordpress.com/

samanthasnowdenartist.wordpress.com/

I'm expecting this at some point and I know I'll be gutted the day my son comes home looking like someone else's idea of what a boy should look like. Yes, it's only hair, but it's hair that I've stroked and combed and smelled and kissed all his life and I love it.