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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so annoyed?

34 replies

dancemom · 06/04/2013 21:27

DD has a bit of a toxic friendship going on and received a text from toxic friend informing her that a mutual friend was at toxic friends house. Dd replied saying oh that's nice and then received a further text saying ha you aren't here and we are having the best time ever!
Dd is a bit hurt at the blatant rudeness but I'm fuming! Toxic friend is notoriously spoilt but to be that vile at 8 years old shocks me!
Tempted to call her mother and ask her to delete dd from toxic friends contacts!
Am I being PFB and its just girls being girls?

OP posts:
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 06/04/2013 21:29

Why has your 8 year old got a phone? Confused

BenjaminButton172 · 06/04/2013 21:30

Firstly i would take the phone away from you child and then i would contact the mum and tell her what her dd is doing.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 06/04/2013 21:30

I am old. My initial reaction was 'an 8yr old. With a phone...'

Yes, not nice. I guess your DD is rapidly learning that some friends are not truly friends.

Original poster
dancemom · 06/04/2013 21:31

My dd isn't 8, toxic friend is.

And it's not a phone, they messaging on IPad, mine not hers.

Although toxic friend has own phone and iPad.

OP posts:
Rainbowinthesky · 06/04/2013 21:32

Your dd is too young to have a phone and to handle all these types of situations having a phone entails. Get rid of the phone.

Jestrin · 06/04/2013 21:32

I think you should let her mother know. My DD has had this. Her friend and another being nasty about her and then the conversation conveniently being forwarded onto her. I contacted the friends mother and it got sorted out.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 06/04/2013 21:32

Yes...why are you letting a child use a phone? This is why things like this annoy me so much.

Remove the phone. If you were being PFB you'd not let her HAVE a phone.

If you think she'll be ostrasiced for lack of a phone well that's a good thing by the sound of it. help her make friends with some REAL 8 year olds!

BenjaminButton172 · 06/04/2013 21:32

Hell - i am only in my 20s and i dont think kids should have mobiles.

Rainbowinthesky · 06/04/2013 21:33

Then the friend will know you have read it. I would simply phone her parents and tell them.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 06/04/2013 21:33

dancemom I assume your DD is 9 then. Still too young for a phone.

BenjaminButton172 · 06/04/2013 21:33

How old is your dd?

nailak · 06/04/2013 21:34

the kids hasnt got a phone, y does everyone keep going on about it?

Original poster
dancemom · 06/04/2013 21:43

She is 7

She doesn't have a phone!

OP posts:
CheCazzo · 06/04/2013 21:46

Big big difference between 7 and 8 ffs

How are they messaging her then? MSN? Put a stop to it - that is your duty as a parent. Maybe you don't know that so I hope I'm being helpful pointing that out to you.

TWinklyLittleStar · 06/04/2013 21:46

Bloody hell. This isn't about the OP's child having access to a phone or ipad. Kids have been horrible long before this technology was invented. OP sorry this kid is being mean to your daughter. Keep them apart and do tell the parents.

DiscoDonkey · 06/04/2013 21:46

Contact the mum and say that your not happy about the messages being sent. Then ban all messaging from the i pad. DS got into a bit of this with moshi monsters messaging. We now have a blanket ban on any type of messaging.

I would be tempted to send a message saying "this is dancemom please let your mum know I will be calling."

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 06/04/2013 21:47

Yes ban messaging. I have an 8 year old DD. She has friends who message...I don't allow it.

DiscoDonkey · 06/04/2013 21:48

What on earth are you talking about CheCazzo? There's not that much difference between a 7 and 8 year old!

Original poster
dancemom · 06/04/2013 21:48

Thank you twinkly, I didn't know if I was over reacting wanting to contact the parents.

Pp Kids can message on iPads, iPods etc via an email address, instant messaging via wifi.

OP posts:
CheCazzo · 06/04/2013 21:49

I'm being bloody sarcastic DiscoDonkey. Sorry if that went whizzing over your head.

Original poster
dancemom · 06/04/2013 21:50

Thank you for the responses, wasn't sure if I was being PFB or not so glad to hear others would notify the parents.
Unfortunately we have to meet up for a local social event tomorrow so may raise it then.

OP posts:
DiscoDonkey · 06/04/2013 21:50

I think the problem with messaging at this age is that when kids have a fall out in the playground etc they go away and it can be forgotten, messaging allows bad feeling to carry on and get out of hand. It also allows any bullying to follow the child into the home. I just don't think any messaging unless strictly supervised is appropriate at this age.

DiscoDonkey · 06/04/2013 21:51

Don't be a prick CheCazzo. Smile

CheCazzo · 06/04/2013 21:53

Me be a prick? Bit rich coming from someone jumping up and down without considering the options first!

DiscoDonkey · 06/04/2013 21:55

If you have her number I would call now. You can be friendly and just saqy "Hi just wanted to let you know that I'm banning messages from the I pad as there seems to be some tension between the girls and it's showing up the messages we are receiving and I don't want it getting out of hand"

If she's a decent person she will investigate what her daughter has been sending