' women are looking for friends, men are looking for fucks' aibu to be seeting.

[parrelluniverse]

this gem was said to me a few days ago by a potential date. I had been speaking to him for about 2 weeks and until that point he had been lovely, we had a date arranged which has now been cancelled.

He had got a bit overly flirty, i had called him on it and that was his response, he was also cross at women, as they dont mean to be hurtful, but apparently they are, when the reject these ' fucks' or ' fuck advances'

degree educated, posh job, seemed perfectable respectable until this point.

I am still SO angry about this. I accept it is true, especially with online dating, i have enough experience to verify it, but it just makes me angry.
AIBU

[parrelluniverse]

Thing is, i dont even think they would care.... they would probably be proud of it.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Parallel, if that's his hypothesis on life, depressing though it is, youd think he'd go one logical step further and think, "if I offer what women are looking for, I will later get what men are looking for."

It's almost as if he thinks what men want is more important than what women want.

Oh, hang on...

[MsFanackerPants]

Hang on...he asked if you were into anal and what pubic style you had and when you objected to that he got pissy and said women always do this and reject him.
If this ALWAYS happens then why hasn't he realised it is HIM not them that is wrong.

I only got sent one knob picture when I was online dating. For some stupid reason I did meet and have sex with the owner. I can only assume he used zoomed in a lot as it was quite small in the flesh.

[Icelollycraving]

Don't be upset or angry,that is a waste of energy.
I had similar experiences but also met dh online.
I had a lot of dates from it,you learn to sort the wheat from the chaff. One that I'd been in contact with for a while sent me a picture of him wanking in a fairly grim bathroom & asked for a picture of me back. I obliged.It's only fair.




I sent a text saying 'my pussy!
with a beautiful picture of my cat :o

[parrelluniverse]

doctrine. yes, i know. makes no sense. he had said when we first got chatting that women never want to meet up with him, they just want to chat. I can see why now.

Its just depressing, thats all.
because sadly it is the attitude of most men.

[Gossipmonster]

I used to get asked for "Pix" all the time and not of my face .

Gave that Taio Cruz song a whole meaning for me.

Most men are sex pests in one way or another.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Hmm. It does seem likely that men who wanted to send cock pictures or sexual questions to random women would consider dating sites as a good way to achieve that particular goal. So a higher proportion of these deviants could be expected on the sites than in the general population, I think

[parrelluniverse]

andjust had another one.
chatted all day, really nice, funny. no red flags.
asked me out for monday, accepted :)
swapped numbers to arrange details, he asks if i want to see a pic of his bathroom, i say yes and he sends me one of him naked in it

WHY!!!

if it wasnt so depressing, i would laugh, but i just cant bring myself to anymore.

[Trills]

I accept it is true, especially with online dating

I agree with Worra, YABU to accept that it is true.

As with all issues where men and women allegedly want different thing, some men want some things, some women want other things. Men and women are encouraged when the act as if they want the "stereotypical thing" and discouraged if they act as if they want the non-typical thing.

[Trills]

You might like some stories of online dating here

[SilverOldie]

Some men are strange, well a lot if I'm honest

I went out with a guy I worked with once, went back to his place, he disappeared and reappeared in the doorway saying ta da! He was stark naked except for his socks.

I burst into laughter, he got mad I left and we continued to work together without speaking.

[parrelluniverse]

in my experince it is true. ive had more dates than that blog.....

two new numbers today, from nice, normal looking and sounding men.. lots of chat, all nice. dates asked for... numbers swapped to arrange details. cocks sent within an hour.

not on.

[CoteDAzur]

YABU to be surprised by this. Surely, it's common knowledge that most men have a quick fuck in mind while most women are looking for friends when they talk to each other for the first time.

YANBU to ditch the rude bastard, though.

[VelvetSpoon]

I think if you don't do OD, or you have only have nice experiences from it, men sending pictures of their pathetic appendages seems like it would be the exception. When in fact it would be far easier for me to list the men who HAVEN'T sent such photos, because almost all of them have. It is hugely disappointing when you're looking for a relationship to realise almost all men (including those who say thats what they want) are really just looking for a quick shag, or someone to send photos of their genitals to...

[HairyGrotter]

I'm with Velvet, it really would be easier to list who HASN'T sent a picture of their cock, or hasn't turned the once pleasant conversation to smut. I've had messages from men telling me they've wanked over my photo, like I should be flattered.

The 'normal' one I've met is coming round in an hour, he's never sent a cock pic (he can't fathom why one would) but I shall show him this thread to prove that some OD men are fucking vile.

[parrelluniverse]

cote, id like to think that actually, when someones been talking to me for a few weeks, with a view to meeting up and dating me, and in fact saying so, that a quick fuck isnt the only thing on their mind.

because, how else do relationships happen....

one that sent a pic, then sent a wanking video when i didnt respond. then when i didnt respond to that, got cross and instructed me to tell him what i wanted to do to it.

its very depressing actually.

[parrelluniverse]

it is fucking vile, thats the only word for it.

vile and depressing, because, as he said ' men are just there for the fucks'

and dont even get me started on them telling you they have wanked over your picture. and before anyone says anything, these can be the most innocent pics you have seen.....

[HairyGrotter]

I think him saying that is an injustice to the genuine men on there, and there are some. I hate to think that all men are in it for that, it's just too depressing.

I really find the whole 'wanking over your face' thing just laughably sad, I like to then send a detailed psychoanalysis (I'm a psychology and criminal behaviour graduate) to them in the hopes that it makes them feel some ounce of shame. I've never had one respond after that haha

[OrangeFootedScrubfowl]

Are there any women willing to come here and say they like the cock photos? I mean, they must work sometimes, surely, or the men wouldn't carry on??

[parrelluniverse]

i dont think its about that. i was talking to a man about it, he said its about dominance. sort of forcing it on a girl.
making her take it.

like in a porny way.

and then they get off on that. not what the reaction is.

[MsTakenidentity]

Dusk falls over Pemberley. Mr. Darcy sits at his writing desk, quill pen in hand, and writes: 'Miss Bennet I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand. In the meantime here is a delightful sketch of my magnificent'..... < Miss Austen faints decorously, necessitating large dose of smelling salts >

[ScrambledSmegs]

Isn't it flashing via the internet? Definitely hoping for some sort of upset response, which they'll get off on.

I wonder is it illegal?

[OrangeFootedScrubfowl]

Hmm parallel what a depressing sign then about the majority of OD men. Eugh.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Agree - it's about these men pushing their sexuality onto a woman whether she's interested or not - it's not seduction, it's the equivalent of flashing or heavy breathing calls.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Distribution of obscene materials, maybe?

OP, have you complained to the dating sites? It sounds like the lovely trolls we get here somewhat, posting to provoke, and maybe they can get banned.