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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

' women are looking for friends, men are looking for fucks' aibu to be seeting.

81 replies

parrelluniverse · 06/04/2013 14:17

this gem was said to me a few days ago by a potential date. I had been speaking to him for about 2 weeks and until that point he had been lovely, we had a date arranged which has now been cancelled.

He had got a bit overly flirty, i had called him on it and that was his response, he was also cross at women, as they dont mean to be hurtful, but apparently they are, when the reject these ' fucks' or ' fuck advances'

degree educated, posh job, seemed perfectable respectable until this point.

I am still SO angry about this. I accept it is true, especially with online dating, i have enough experience to verify it, but it just makes me angry.
AIBU

OP posts:
ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 15:00

'The next series of Embarassing Bodies' is looking for men with ugly/small/weird penises' why not forward it to them? They might be interested - I'm certainly not!'

badbride · 06/04/2013 15:00

plenty of women are looking for no stings sex too...

Sorry Worra, had to titter at your typo, I reckon pretty much all the women I know are looking for sex that doesn't sting Grin

Am sorry you had a rotten experience, OP. But at least you found out what a ghastly little misogynist your date was before things went too far. A worrying number of men seem to regard women as being toys to service their sexual needs, rather than fellow human beings (and get angry when this is pointed out to them).

Nice blokes do exist and are well worth holding out for--I suppose the one advantage of online dating is that you can save yourself a lot of time and heartache by discounting anyone who sends you a picture of their willy...

parrelluniverse · 06/04/2013 15:00

gossip. maybe i should have said more than slightly flirty... he went from slightly flirty to asking how i had my pubes, and then if i liked anal.
not on.
hence me calling him on it.
and then him getting cross at me, telling me women on dating sites always do this, he doesnt think they mean to be hurtful, but men dont handle rejection well, and i had rejected him and i needed to understand women look for friends, men look for fucks.

OP posts:
parrelluniverse · 06/04/2013 15:02

and he didnt send me a cock shot, so we were doing quite well up until that point.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 06/04/2013 15:03

My pal got the nob pics when she was newly single.

When they requested a pic in return she sent one of her dad wearing a bra Grin

ScrambledSmegs · 06/04/2013 15:10

Ew. That's not slightly flirty. That's grim!

I had to laugh at herpes being a 'gift' though. First time I've heard that one.

I have a lovely friend who's been Internet dating for a while. Apparently a lot of women are odd too. I believe one wanted a semen sample before she met him. Funnily enough he said no!

ScrambledSmegs · 06/04/2013 15:13

... To be fair he suspected that a) she had other profiles up on the same site and b) 'she' wasn't a woman. Not sure why though.

drfayray · 06/04/2013 15:15

It is the gift that gives on giving, doncha know? Grin

drfayray · 06/04/2013 15:16

KEEPS on giving..ffs!

YouTheCat · 06/04/2013 15:16

Well that just sounds bizarre!

Maybe he/she was trying to open a sperm bank? Grin

ScrambledSmegs · 06/04/2013 15:18

Surely s/he would have needed the samples faster than via second class post, though?!

YouTheCat · 06/04/2013 15:20

True.

Might not have been a very good sperm bank.

ScrambledSmegs · 06/04/2013 15:21
Grin

My theory was that he/she was a serial rapist/killer and wanted other men's semen to throw the authorities of the scent.

TheNebulousBoojum · 06/04/2013 15:30

He should have been more honest, like the bloke in the other online dating thread currently running.
He should have stated what he wanted, and the price in cash or goods he was prepared to meet to obtain what he wanted.
You know 'Fit athletic blonde with matching heart-shaped vajazzled muff willing to go on all expenses paid weekend to Paris. Minimum of 6 hours sex expected.'

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2013 15:35

If someone sends you a photo of their cock, just tell them your one's bigger Wink

ScrambledSmegs · 06/04/2013 15:40

Or send them a bigger one you've already been sent before, Worra. Penis top-trumps.

ScrambledSmegs · 06/04/2013 15:41

That would be a picture of a cock, of course. Sending a real one would be a whole different thing Confused

CheCazzo · 06/04/2013 15:47

It's a rare cock that doesn't look like the last turkey in the shop at Christmas! Why do men do this? What kind of deranged makes them think this is a winning move?

Gossipmonster · 06/04/2013 15:50

Yes - that is more than slightly flirty Grin

HairyGrotter · 06/04/2013 15:50

See, I have asked this of men who have sent cock pictures, why, why do you do it? It is apparently a massive turn on for them? They can explain it no further. I'd like to discuss their childhood but apparently that isn't a turn on...

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2013 15:52

Grin @ penis top trumps

No idea CheCazzo, no idea...

CheCazzo · 06/04/2013 15:53

It's a massive turn on for them? I believe there are ladies of a certain type who will, for the exchange of money, happily humiliate men face to face! Hell - I'd do it for free to anyone who sent me a picture of their appendage without so much as a 'by your leave' Grin

VelvetSpoon · 06/04/2013 15:58

YANBU to be annoyed. Any reasonable person would be!

It really irritates me when people come onto threads like this going 'oh you should stick with it, i had 3 terrible dates with men I met OD, then I met my DH...' and so on. Honestly when you've done this shit for YEARS you are allowed to feel annoyed with it, and despair of actually ever meeting anyone normal and well adjusted Hmm After that length of time all the happy, fluffy stories of people who met someone within a month really don't help!

parrelluniverse · 06/04/2013 16:06

i had a date on wednesday, he had appeared normal until the date, when he arrived, drunk, wouldnt look at me when he talked, until he got drunker, and the proceeded to talk about fetish and how he was a freak and what he would like to do to me, while staring at me.

I do despair.

He told me we get what we attract, which is just cocks in various guises.

of course everyone i know finds it hysterically funny, which it is. They also dont understand it and neither do i.

still fucked off at ' men are after fucks'

not even, im after sex with you, even that wouldnt have been offensive.

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 06/04/2013 16:08

Norma Grin

Can't there be a website where everyone can post the pictures of the knobs they have been sent? Like an OD wall of shame?

or use the Mumsnet have you seen this topic

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