To lie in bed watching the spider on the ceiling getting closer and closer to husbands open wardrobe...

[ilovecolinfirth]

It might crawl in and hide amongst his shirts...which would be a shame, but I'm too tired to get up. The reason I'm too tired to get up is because I'm getting sleepless nights due to 20 week old DS, and last night, as well as every other night DH is just "too tired to get up " and try to help him get back to sleep...

Or alternatively sleeton, stand around wringing your sweaty hands with the thought that if you don't get your act together you won't be able to sit and relax for a week knowing the fucker's lurking, go get a bowl and paper, stick the bowl over the spider trying not to freak out knowing you're only millimeters away from the furry freak, slide the paper under it trying not to look at it sinisterly scurrying about, get the bowl and paper off the wall without the paper wrinkling up and giving multiple opportunities for the freak to run up your arm, walk with it at arms length to the door in a dream like state because you can't believe what you're doing, chuck paper, bowl and freak out of the cat flap, have quadruple gin (no tonic) and text everyone you know to tell them the heroic feat you've just been involved in.

Oooh speaking of kitchen related ones.... I was going to make a casserole one night - pulled the door of the cupboard open and whipped out the Le Creuset dish - only to nearly drop it as I realised what the giant dark brown thing at the bottom was.

The porcelain-y sides are like baths, they can't get up them, so it had been lurking there for god knows how long.....

Okay, I really need to stop posting on this thread. Just - never live in eastern France if you don't like big spiders.

Peasant, Are you the King of the Evil League of Spiders, they seem to like being around you!

Was the spider in the Le Creuset dish still alive, RevoltingPeasant?

I have three of <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.redorbit.com/media/uploads/2004/10/0_485f7e446d0224dff8176e36dbab760f.jpg&imgrefurl=www.redorbit.com/education/reference_library/science_1/arachnids/2582624/tube_web_spider/&h=600&w=629&sz=80&tbnid=Qc8836c4jcNW6M:&tbnh=90&tbnw=94&zoom=1&usg=__b1NMtZMXrVWosZ5CITlOtSNbGVE=&docid=mIltbVuHHsWxpM&sa=X&ei=rEBfUZipMovE4gS8roHIBA&ved=0CDUQ9QEwAQ&dur=1011" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">these in my kitchen/lean to. They eat other spiders so i dont get any monsters in the house

I really like the 'quadruple gin' part of your plan, AgentZigzag !

'belle no! I just remember every horrible fecker in that house. It was rife with them.

purple yes it was. It ran around a lot. I screamed.

Lucye - from what I remember in nightmares from your other thread, you are missing the word 'other' in front of "...monsters..." in your last sentence.

[Goes off to drink more wine]

My friend says spiders are cute, shes a freak i tells ya.

Oh Spider story,

Walking down stairs in the middle of the night, black spot on stairs, think nothing of it........til i put my foot right near it. major freak out.

Thanks sleeton, I like liked that part too

I got out of the shower yesterday,flung my bath towel around my shoulders,and there it was!! crawling on my shoulder. I was horrified. threw the towel on to the floor.
Called for DH who came to the rescue who picked it up with a tissue, and popped it through the window.I know theyr'e good, and we need them, but I don't like them.

AuntyZigZag what do you keep your clothes in if not wardrobes?

I lived on a tarantula migration path for a couple of years (house surrounded by thousands upon thousands of tarantulas clumping down a mountain to the valley once a year and them clumping back up several months later). The paper today had a photograph of a tarantula found in Sri Lanka which is the size of a human face....

Aaah you are all making me itch!

When I see a spider or other, scary, skittering insects I have an unnerving, panicky reflex and cross my legs as if it's going to go up my bum. Just to say that it' s a hideous thought but does anyone else do that?

jinsy - umm, your instincts may be right sorry -

Also, I'm not sure where MadamDeathStare used to live but I never want to move there (see her post at 22:31)

I try not to go on spider threads, I'm skim reading through half closed eyes so I don't put anything in my head

I'm a jeans/t-shirt person Duck, so I fold them up and put them in drawers, DH irons and folds his work shirt the night before. They're crap magnets and the amount of space they take up is criminal, we'd never get 4 people and wardrobes in our house, not in a million years.

Moonlight nooooooo. What to do? Must get the masking tape. Had a wee bit sick in my mouth, thinking about it. night night don 't let the bed bugs bite and up yer bumboleery. X

Spider story : DD must have only been about 9yo. She is proper arachnophobic.

Goes upstairs one morning to get dressed. Hear a scream that sounds like a dying of strangulation hyena, which usually means that DD has seen something approximately 2mm across on the ceiling.

Go upstairs to find her red faced, hyperventilating and unable to talk just frantically gesturing at her knickers which were on her ankles. Huge spider was crawling up her legs!!!!

The fucker had hidden inside her undies, only to be found as she started pulling them up...

This thread is funny, makes me feel so normal. I'm glad it's not just me who freaks out.

Agent love your tip for spider eviction! A bowl is def the way to go. Who in their right mind would use a glass so that you can see the hairy fucker!

Lucyellen please tell me you don't live in the UK because those spiders in your lean to are seriously scary.

Yellowtip. tarantula path? WTF? I would have ended up in a body bag had I been within miles of that.

Once we had a black dog. She was sitting on the landing and I noticed she had a leaf or a bit of fluff stuck to her, so I went to brush it off with my hand. I stopped myself just in time as I realised, when about and inch away, that it was a giant brown house spider.

The it walked up the dog towards her shoulder, and she noticed it. She turned her head, flapped out her big wet tongue, and whisked the spider into her mouth and swallowed it. Or should I say swallowed most of it. For when she stuck her tongue out a couple of minutes later to groom herself, there were clearly a couple of legs left clinging on there.

Sleep well people.

DD (four very soon) loves spiders. She's been going mad for the vids of male peacock spiders strutting their stuff for the ladies. She watches, rapt, and says: "BEAUtiful. ADORable."

Try this one:

Repeat after me...."shake those furry palpi".
If you really are phobic, don't look....if you find spiders mildly distasteful, you might actually warm to them after watching this!

Why oh why am I continuing to read this!