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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think breastfeeding makes babies harder to look after?

130 replies

doingitagain2013 · 02/04/2013 21:36

I EBF my DD for 6 months, then combined this with solids till 10 months and at 10 months moved to formula. For the first 6 weeks DD fed up to 20 times in 24 hours. From 6 weeks until age 7 months she fed on average of about 12 times in 24 hours. I found it exhausting, she did not have a dummy either. She was a lovely happy baby but it was a constant round of feeding, changing and being sick (after some feeds) and lots of crying and sleepless nights. I was the first of my friends to have children. Two friends have since had babies. One bottle fed from the start and uses a dummy between feeds and has found mother hood a breeze and is always out and about and looking great. Her baby sleeps through the night. My DD has just started sleeping through (most) nights age 3. My second friend had her baby and breast fed for 3 weeks and said she felt like she had no life and just fed all the time and did not get much sleep. She then switched to bottles and dummies and said her baby is so much more peaceful now and sleeps through the night now at 5 months old and before that just had one bottle a night. When I visit he is happy sucking his dummy and never cries and her house is so clean and nice. I am pregnant with DD2 and want to breast feed again, hopefully for one year this time to save money on bottles and formula as well as for the health benefits I think my DD enjoyed. However I am jealous of my two friends who bottle feed and how organised their lives look. Are breast fed babies just harder to look after or am I doing something wrong??

OP posts:
Lueji · 02/04/2013 22:13

Mine fed every 4-3 hours even at the worst times.

Only it hurt like hell for the first 2-3 weeks, when he started feeding.

He also managed to sleep fairly well.

Plus, as others say, it is a wonderful soother and it saves a lot of hassle during plane trips. :)
Not so good on cars, though...

cece · 02/04/2013 22:15

I don't think it is anything to do with how you feed the baby.

DD slept well from about 8 weeks but was very sicky and needed feeding a lot during the day.

DS1 slept 5 hour stretches at night from about day 3. He was the easiest to look after. Had big feeds but also slept well and was a happy chappy.

DS2 didn't sleep through till about 10 months. Only cried when hungry and was happy to lie on floor.

None of mine had a dummy. Never felt the need for them.

ballstoit · 02/04/2013 22:16

YABU. For measuring the success of caring for a baby by how good the parent and their houses look Hmm

3 babies, all bf to at least a year...all different personalities.

3 babies in my family who are now coming up for 1, all ff..all different personalities.

GirlOutNumbered · 02/04/2013 22:19

I've breastfed two. One was very difficult, sleeping through the night at 13 months. The other is a dream baby. Sleeps through the night and goes about 3-4 hours in the day.
YABU.

WillowB · 02/04/2013 22:20

I formula fed - DS born after crash section. No milk for 5 days, he then developed jaundice so only managed to bf for a few weeks. He was a very unsettled baby even when I fully switched to formula. Used to want feeding every 2 hrs & would take 40mins to feed. Cluster fed every evening. Never slept longer than 40 mins either till about 10 weeks.
He slept through at 6 months for the first time.
My point is formula/dummies made no difference to us. You only see a snapshot of your friends lives. When people popped in to see me I would quickly tidy before they came. I'd always put make up etc on before going out. But it took me 10mins max & made me feel better. Don't read too much into it.

ILovePonyo · 02/04/2013 22:23

I ff my dd and gave her a dummy, she was a right crier! She's 2 now and lovely, but been good and bad with her sleep and is an early riser, sadly for me I would love a lie in.

My friends ds was bf, no dummy, he is very laid back and always has been, and will regularly sleep in until 9.30am Envy

All different and mostly luck (I think, I'm no expert Smile)

LBsBongers · 02/04/2013 22:23

Depends on how you measure parenting success, if you consider that to be a quiet baby with a stopper in its gob all day and a clean and tidy house then you are right.

Constipation, bottle washing, forking out for formula, overriding your child's natural instinct to regulate their calorie intact .....BF rocks, it's hard but in the grand scheme of things your commitment to it passes in a blink of an eye.

dementedmumof6 · 02/04/2013 22:24

Just so you know it might not be how they are fed i bottle fed all my children and 4 out of 6 were bad sleepers, even now my youngest 2 (3 +4) still occasionally wake at night.

Stop worrying about other people and their babies and enjoy your own.

carabos · 02/04/2013 22:32

Bf both of mine. DS1 slept 11pm -5am at 6 weeks and never gave me a sleepless night again, Big fat baby, 98th centile, gained almost a pound in his first week. DS2 fed every 45 mins round the clock for 27 months, scrawny little object, looked like a bit of old rope for months, mouthful of teeth at 20 weeks.

Feeding choice doesn't come into it IMO. They are who they are...

ElliesWellies · 02/04/2013 22:35

I think BF comes into its own if you learn to do it lying down in bed. No getting up in the night - get your partner to bring the baby to you. I still bf DS 2y4m. Works like magic to get an over-tired or ill toddler to sleep. He sleeps through pretty much every night and I don't do 'night feeds' anymore, just one for bedtime or nap time.

WillowB · 02/04/2013 22:37

LBsBongers ouch! Some huge assumptions there. Using a dummy doesn't mean they are necessarily plugged in all day. DS only had his for naps. I didn't force feed him formula either, he would only ever take 3/4 oz every 2-3hrs & was on 25th centile.

MrsDeVere · 02/04/2013 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LBsBongers · 02/04/2013 22:46

Willow, 3 out of 3 of mine had dummies, lovin the dummies, op seemed to imply friends dc always serenely sucking away when she visited. Probably a bit harsh on the formula, just trying to say grass not always greener.

Just bf my 5 month old who has woken for 3rd time since 7pm, sleep is for wimps

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 02/04/2013 22:50

no.

DD was hard work. establishing BF but the longer it went on the better it got.

Ds (5 days old) has taken to it like a dream. who knows what lies ahead but so far so.easy!

on the mat ward there were 6 beds in my bay, we were all post c-section. 4 FF and 2 BF. of the FF, 3 would have their feed then sick it back up, I assumed this is normal (i haven't a clue about FF) and it seemed bloody hard work to me.

however, as has been said many times it is down to the baby and I dont think each FF baby or each BF baby can be lumped into.easy or hard. there are too many other factors involved like family circumstances for example.

louisianablue2000 · 02/04/2013 22:51

I've BF 3 children. DD2 was the perfect baby, fed for 10 mins every 4 hours, slept all the time, very chilled out easy going baby. The other two were harder work during the day (both fight sleep at nap times) but I've not had a problem with them sleeping at night.

Oh, and even now I clean the house before people come to visit, because if I didn't the house would never be cleaned. So don't read anything into that.

SirBoobAlot · 02/04/2013 22:56

YABU.

Do you work for Nestle?

Startail · 02/04/2013 23:07

No, BFing part co sleeping, happy to eat solid food and happy to play with toys DD2 was way easier than DD1.

Apart from the fuss of making bottles and sterilizing. DD wouldn't take a dummy and wouldn't co sleep. She squirmed and kicked and quickly learnt to pull herself to her feet and bounce on the pillows.

No snuggle up BF and go back to sleep if DD1 was awake she stayed awake.

thezebrawearspurple · 02/04/2013 23:19

My formula fed baby still doesn't sleep as a toddler, she never slept as a baby, ever, it was torture. She also insisted on being held 24 hours a day, she still needs to be cuddled to sleep and held most of the night. It's only easier in that other people can take over the childcare, a needy baby will be needy whatever way they're fed.

TheSecondComing · 02/04/2013 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midastouch · 02/04/2013 23:35

I dont think its the breast feeding its probably just that all babies are very different.
DS 3.9 now was FF and had dummy, he was sleeping through the night from 12 weeks old, but he still has the darn dummy now. So with DD 11mo also FF NO dummy! still wakes several times and wont settle in the night. Ive done nothing different except the dummy!

Moominsarescary · 03/04/2013 06:24

I've bf 2 ff 1 and expressed and bottle fed the other.

Expressing and bottle feeding was obviously the biggest faff. I found bf took up more time and they were both harder to settle.

3 of them didn't sleep through until nearly 2. The baby is 8 weeks so don't know when he will sleep.

They all had a dummy but I must not have been using it properly because none of them would keep it in their gobs all day so I could clean the house.

Wishihadabs · 03/04/2013 06:48

I have a bf who ff her 1st who was a dream baby. She wanted to bf her 2nd who was a complete non-sleeping nightmare. At 2 weeks she switched to ff. Baby was just as bad but now she had to make upwards of 10 bottles a day. This child eventually slept through at 18m.

I bf Ds and mixed fed dd. Ds would take a bottle or dummy-slept through at 10 weeks. Dd took both slept through at 12 weeks, dd was much more put-downable though. She still is now age nearly 7.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 03/04/2013 07:28

All mine have been EBF and yes, I'm sure that created more work for me than if I had ff. But babies are supposed to be hard work, so I have never minded. They're babies for a such a short time, my social life has years to reestablish itself.

Emilythornesbff · 03/04/2013 07:42

Babies need a lot of looking after.
And the little blighters will insist on being fed.Grin

If I ff then I suppose someone else could do it.
But the baby would still need as much looking after.

I think it's worth it.

havingamadmoment · 03/04/2013 07:55

I bottle fed the first three and breathed the last two. In the first 6 weeks or so bottle feeding was easier. With bottle feeding I felt physically back to normal within a week or two of the birth, there were defined feeds (no cluster feeding) and dh could feed at night which meant I could sleep for a whole night. Breast feeding, I felt still pregnant for a couple if months! I was glued to the baby and I never managed to pump enough for a feed so did all night feeds.

However, after 6-8 weeks its switched breast feeding was then a breeze, I found it a joy and much easier than bottle feeding. I also loved the closeness of it.