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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think breastfeeding makes babies harder to look after?

130 replies

doingitagain2013 · 02/04/2013 21:36

I EBF my DD for 6 months, then combined this with solids till 10 months and at 10 months moved to formula. For the first 6 weeks DD fed up to 20 times in 24 hours. From 6 weeks until age 7 months she fed on average of about 12 times in 24 hours. I found it exhausting, she did not have a dummy either. She was a lovely happy baby but it was a constant round of feeding, changing and being sick (after some feeds) and lots of crying and sleepless nights. I was the first of my friends to have children. Two friends have since had babies. One bottle fed from the start and uses a dummy between feeds and has found mother hood a breeze and is always out and about and looking great. Her baby sleeps through the night. My DD has just started sleeping through (most) nights age 3. My second friend had her baby and breast fed for 3 weeks and said she felt like she had no life and just fed all the time and did not get much sleep. She then switched to bottles and dummies and said her baby is so much more peaceful now and sleeps through the night now at 5 months old and before that just had one bottle a night. When I visit he is happy sucking his dummy and never cries and her house is so clean and nice. I am pregnant with DD2 and want to breast feed again, hopefully for one year this time to save money on bottles and formula as well as for the health benefits I think my DD enjoyed. However I am jealous of my two friends who bottle feed and how organised their lives look. Are breast fed babies just harder to look after or am I doing something wrong??

OP posts:
DoNotDisturb · 02/04/2013 21:52

I breastfed both of mine. Made some mistakes with the first that I learnt from with the second. Second slept through really early and was really content. Both amazing sleepers now. I think it's down the baby and you nothing to do with breast or bottle.

Original poster
doingitagain2013 · 02/04/2013 21:54

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue No I just ment she has time to clean it lol. My house was a tip with overflowing bins of nappies and buckets full of bedclothes my DD had projectile vomited on!

That is great that is seems feeding is not why my DD was so much hard work. She is lovely just very demanding. I have no other experience of breast feeding mums so just wondered if breast feeding made everything much harder, although it would not put me off but just feel a bit down as everything seemed so hard with no sleep at night, and am not sure how I will managed that with a very active 3 year old. Fingers crossed this DD is chilled out then!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2013 21:56

BF definitely pinned me to the sofa for longer than was reasonable. Sad

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 02/04/2013 21:57

You know what they say, a clean houses a sign of a wasted life!

Machli · 02/04/2013 21:57

Well as controversial as it is I have known quite a few babies fed both ways. Ime FF babies are easier, they remain fuller for longer and seem more content in general. I EBF both of mine and they needed feeding more often and for much longer and it seemed harder.

In spite of that I would always choose to BF. The positives for ME far out weigh the negatives.

Smudging · 02/04/2013 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyWidmerpool · 02/04/2013 21:58

Soothing my BF baby is super easy for me because 99% of the time feeding her cheers her up. There are lots of ways in which BFing has been hard but that has been a huuuuge advantage.

ReallyTired · 02/04/2013 21:59

Some people were just born to be difficult. It makes no difference how they were fed as babies.

I found the first six weeks of breastfeeding hard, but when I got the hang of it was good not having to sterilise bottles or worry about running out of milk when I went out.

MajaBiene · 02/04/2013 21:59

I had a pretty easy going baby and loved breastfeeding for how quick, convenient and portable it was! My sister's baby is formula fed and he seems to be a trickier personality generally, and dealing with bottles is just an extra hassle and expense.

LadyWidmerpool · 02/04/2013 22:00

I do other things too obviously but when she is really miserable with teeth, colds etc it is a real boon.

rainbunnieseatingalltheeggs · 02/04/2013 22:00

I bf all 5 of mine,some with very small age gaps and i thought it was way easier.Last baby was a c section and had some bottles and do you know what i couldnt be arsed so i bf from when i came home.

I think if your partner gets up and does teh night feeds it might be worth your while,but everyone i knew who ff done all the night feeds anyway.Why make life hard.Just whip out teh boob and away you go.

Also depends on baby,my 2nd would have put you off having any more,he was a nightmare.

Namehelpplease · 02/04/2013 22:00

BFing is harder on YOU - particularly if your baby won't take a bottle of expressed milk. It's all on you. I really would love someone to suggest differently.

Obviously it's more convenient in many, many ways (no faffng about with bottles, being able to whip one our) but that doesn't take away the fact the an EBF is solely reliant on your and your body for its sustinance.

shellshock7 · 02/04/2013 22:01

smudge although DS went on formula at 3m (he refused the breast) he slept thru at 4w 6d with me waking him at 12 fod a feed when he was still ebf so I agree with you there....I just found it a lot more time consuming etc. than ff and am struggling with how I could bf a second baby whilst looking after DS as I would want to

girliefriend · 02/04/2013 22:01

yabu I think bfing makes babies a lot eaiser to look after, you haven't got all the faff of making up bottles for a start.

steppemum · 02/04/2013 22:01

No.

I EBF all 3 dcs. After the first 3 weeks or so, they all fed in a routine, about every 3 hours, and 2 of them slept through the night at 5 weeks.

BF was so easy, uncomplicated, I could go anywhere and do anything with baby tagging along.

I remember staying with my friend and watching her prep all the feeds and sterilizing bottles at 11pm, and thought how easy it was to bf.

Once we started weaning, I could hand babies over to dh as he just gave them food if I was out and i bf when got home.

I know I had easy babies (well, dd1 didn't sleep for 6 months, but that is another story) I know they were incredibly easy to feed and I am not suggesting I did anything magic towards that, but I think you underestimate how different babies are, nothing to do with feeding.

tomatoplantproject · 02/04/2013 22:02

My ebf baby slept through from 8 weeks. She is v happy, and easy. I can get out with her easily - no faffing around with sterilising etc - and I have a simple way of comforting her. From watching all my friends I think we've completely lucked out. But breast feeding I'm sure helps her.

Hassled · 02/04/2013 22:02

Agree it's down to the baby.
I bottle fed 2 of mine and breastfed the other 2. One of each pair, IYSWIM, was bloody hard work and sleep was a relentless slog. The other one of each pair was a doddle - slept and fed well (although those easy babies were the nightmare toddlers!).

RubyrooUK · 02/04/2013 22:02

YABU. It's down to the baby.

My bf DS fed every 45 minutes for 45 minutes. He hated being left with anyone else. That's still true even though he is now 2.7 and hasn't been bf for a year.

My friend's bf toddler has only ever fed every four hours for 10 minutes and is relaxed, will go to anyone, very independent, totally different character.

Sometimes I feel bf is hard because only I can do it, which means I rarely have a break from it. But then I also find it easy in some ways to just quickly bf on the go rather than make up a bottle. So, both have their advantages and disadvantages, I guess.

AThingInYourLife · 02/04/2013 22:02

My 3 breastfed babies slept 8 hours a night by 8, 8, 12 weeks.

Having a soother shoved in a baby's mouth the whole time is bad for speech development. They have their uses, but are often overused.

TheSecondComing · 02/04/2013 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girlsyearapart · 02/04/2013 22:04

Not all babies will take a dummy anyway.
Two of mine did two didn't

SatsukiKusukabe · 02/04/2013 22:05

DS is 14 months and at around 7 months I finally stopped bf. My milk basically dryed up after enforced mixed feeding.

Sometimes he cries now, and my instinct is to just whip them out and feed him, then I remember I can't. It really makes me :(

It was lovely always having the means to make him feel better

Tigresswoods · 02/04/2013 22:05

Different babies = different experience.

That said, do what feels right for you.

BertieBotts · 02/04/2013 22:06

I haven't bottlefed, but breastfeeding certainly didn't make DS difficult to look after - you have an instant calmer, sleep-inducer, feed, drink, temperature control, pain reliever, tantrum calmer, you never have to wash it specially or make it up and you can even do it in your sleep!

I am vv disorganised though so lack of routine doesn't bother me and the thought of having to have things ready in advance and plan ahead e.g. if we're going out etc is a nightmare for me.

Also XP was unsupportive anyway, so I was doing 99% of all parenting in the early weeks. If DP and I have another child I'll be interested to see if I feel differently as it's really 50/50 with him.

BettyandDon · 02/04/2013 22:12

It was definitely easier to FF DD2 for us as a family unit. By that I mean I had to look after DD1 who was 2.4 when DD1 was born and in the evenings that means dinner, bath and bed. DD2 cluster fed for hours at a time and I couldn't do any of that properly with her hanging off my boob. Giving a bottle takes 10 mins, DD1 fed for 7 hours once! No comparison for me I'm afraid.

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