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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider getting a boob job?

70 replies

fizzykola · 02/04/2013 16:22

Its just seems very not 'me'. I've never been a large lady. But having hit 40 and two DC down, my norks are like tiny empty samosas Sad.

It makes me feel very unsexy, and I can't help thinking that it would improve sex with DH. It's nothing to do with his reaction, he's always saying how sexy I am etc, it really is down to my own reaction. I think if I was a bloke I'd be a 'boob man' - I do think they're really womanly and attractive. I remember when I was PG and my boobs got a bit bigger, how much sexier I felt and how much more I initiated things.

But I don't feel cosmetic surgery is the magic answer, and am put off by:

the expense
having a major op
having to get them replaced over time - is that right?
having two alien sacs in my body= maybe not feeling so sexy after all?

I wouldn't want massive bazookas, just a enough to fill a bra and a handful! Grin

Any views? Anyone been there done that, wore the tighter t-shirt??

OP posts:
FriedSprout · 02/04/2013 16:26

Have you had a look at the bra threads in Style and Beauty?

Getting the correct bra has made a huuuuuge difference to the look of my boobs.

I now have a shape and all boobage has been herded in the correct direction.

Worth a try before you go down the surgery route.

Nancy66 · 02/04/2013 16:57

If your only reason is doing it for your DH then you really should think twice - especially since he has said that he finds you sexy as you are.

Contrary to belief a lot of men hate fake boobs. My husband has an ex who had a boob job and he found it a massive turn off. Said they felt and looked horrible.

But it's a myth that implants need to replaced - they don't unless there is an issue with them.

HappyJoyful · 02/04/2013 16:58

I know a few people who have done it, for very similar reasons to you and haven't looked back, they love them! I don't think you do have to get them replaced, I think that was the old style ones when there was a big scare.
Not for me, though face similar thoughts to you.

anonymosity · 02/04/2013 17:09

I'd suggest looking into possible side-effects, too. I understand sometimes that sensitivity is lost and that wouldn't be great as far as I can see.

jellybeans · 02/04/2013 17:48

If we all saw normal boobs all the time and not page 3 style boobs we would feel much better about ourselves. I have heard people say that boobs 'fill up' again later in life and also on things like the mirena coil so things may improve? For me i think it is wrong to cut open the body and insert foreign objects unless of severe deformity/mastectomy etc. it usually looks so obvious also.? Often people say they do it for them but how much of that is subconsciously being cultured to feel that way?

specialsubject · 02/04/2013 17:55

fake boobs always look ludicrous.

newsflash - you will get wrinkles, go grey, go a bit saggy. It's called aging. It's part of life and no-one should worry about it. I also guarantee that no-one else notices.

you are healthy otherwise (I hope) - why on earth would you want an unnecessary operation?

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 17:57

Once i have finished with having my dc i will be having mine done. DH doesn't care, (he's not a boob man and loves me as i am) but i hate my boobs. nothing massive, just enough to balance me out and make me more in proportion. I only feed from one side so have one big saggy boob and one tiny fried egg :(

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 18:00

i don't agree that fake boobs 'always look ludicrous'. Specialsubject - are you saying women who have had reconstructive surgery look ludicrous? Because i think boobs are like toupes, you only notice the bad ones. massive fake boobs do look odd, but proportionate teardrop shaped ones can look very natural.

AKissIsNotAContract · 02/04/2013 18:03

When you're older, you might look like this

LornMowa · 02/04/2013 18:07

I once knew someone who said that he hated it when his wife wore earrings in bed as he felt a bit squeamish about them so I imagine that there would be a fair few men that would find fake boobs off putting.

I usually find that a small glass of wine is sufficient to make me forget the saggy bits and just get on with enjoying myself - much cheaper too!

OhLori · 02/04/2013 18:11

go ahead, OP. It will make you happier, more interesting, richer, more talented, more genuine, more fun, less self-obsessed, and of course sexier

digerd · 02/04/2013 18:12

Nothing to do with getting older. She has skeletonised herself with dieting/starving herself. And her implants look ridiculous. And she looks terminally ill.

RockingTheBoat · 02/04/2013 18:13

Hmm. Cosmetic surgery has such a negative reaction in the UK and I have no idea why.

I had a breast reduction and it gave me so much more confidence.

If you can afford it and you are doing it purely for yourself then hell yes go for it.

OhLori · 02/04/2013 18:15

I think breast reduction is slightly different. Very large breasts are often uncomfortable (and possibly the result of early contraception pill). That said, why should women constantly apologise for who they are ... too big ... too small ... too blah ... too blah .... I mean FGS.

lottieandmia · 02/04/2013 18:17

'Contrary to belief a lot of men hate fake boobs. My husband has an ex who had a boob job and he found it a massive turn off. Said they felt and looked horrible.'

Sorry but if you believe this you'll believe anything! Wink I think men feel that they need to say this as it's what's acceptable to society. When I had mine done I thought maybe some men wouldn't like them because everyone says they don't. However, that has not been my experience at all, believe me! Although I definitely did them for myself and how I feel about my body and nobody else.

OP, I had mine done because after 4 years of breastfeeding they went empty in the top. I am really pleased with the result I have and my scars are not even visible. It's really important to get a good plastic surgeon though. Avoid clinics like Transform and HMG imo! And make sure they are not PIP obviously.

Nancy66 · 02/04/2013 18:21

No, I do believe him Lottie. He just isn't a fan of the fake look.

Plus I've seen some really shockingly bad boob jobs - and I have felt fake boobs (friend had them done and I was curious!) and they felt very strange.

OhLori · 02/04/2013 18:21

Somehow, throughout the whole history of time, women have managed not to have cosmetic surgery to feel good about themselves.

Bunfags · 02/04/2013 18:22

I don't know why UK people frown upon cosmetic surgery either. It's your body, so who cares what anyone else thinks. If you're an adult, pierce it, tattoo it and modify it in any way you fancy. It's entirely up to you.

Really, if someone has an issue whith what you choose to do to your own boobs, well, that says more about them than it does about you.

OhLori · 02/04/2013 18:28

Its just social commentary, what we notice about whats going on around us, and the conclusions we draw. Otherwise MN would be non-existent!

Also, by that logic if an individual wants to hang themselves, I would pass no remark.

Feminism has been replaced by Narcissim. (this is no comment on the OP, who has put her case genuinely, I know thousands of women have similar dilemmas).

It means nothing to me if an ordinary woman i.e. not a porn star or film star/model spends thousands on plastic surgery, but I think its fair to comment on this generally. I am sure OP will make up her own mind.

Manchesterhistorygirl · 02/04/2013 18:28

Op I it would make you happier I would go ahead.

I would like to get mine lifted. After breastfeeding 2 children for 4 and a bit years they're a bit deflated.

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 18:30

ohlori - how do you know women have felt good about themselves throughout the whole history of time? it's only now women can do something about it if they want.

McNewPants2013 · 02/04/2013 18:34

I would love a tummy tuck, and when I get the money I will have it done.

Op if your really want a boob job go for it.

SmilingCrocodile · 02/04/2013 18:37

I'm quite a firm believer that if you are unhappy with something about yourself - weight, nose, scars etc

And you have the ability to change that then you should.

Life is too short to be largely upset about one part of your body.

I had my nose done. It was done all from the inside (so it wasn't broken) - there was no pain just a little bit of bruising.

I love my new nose. I did it for me and it has given me confidence.

Original poster
fizzykola · 02/04/2013 18:39

"go ahead, OP. It will make you happier, more interesting, richer, more talented, more genuine, more fun, less self-obsessed, and of course sexier "

OhLori you sound like you have a bit of an axe to grind? Or are just sharpening it up on my post? Of course women through time haven't had access to cosmetic surgery. But we've always found ways to make ourselves feel better about our looks, and therefore how we feel. Or do you not wear jewelry? Make up? Half-decent clothes? Get your hair cut, coloured or any other 'cosmetic' adornment? None of that is 'apologising for who we are' So FGS yerself.

Everyone else, thanks for your replies. You've pretty much summed up my confusion about whether to go for it. I don't have a problem with other aspects of ageing, in fact I quite like it. It's not really an age thing, I've always felt a bit short-changed boobage-wise, and think maybe it's now or never.

OP posts:
SmilingCrocodile · 02/04/2013 18:39

Also just wanted to point out when I had my nose done, I had an overnight stay in the hospital too.

When I was waiting in the reception the next morning there was a man there too who had obviously had a nose job done too (had the same bandages on as me)

Cosmetic surgery is so not just for women.