To want to put both kids in nursey and go back to work full time to regain some bastard sanity?

[Namehelpplease]

A bad morning. Can you tell? Is it just me who feels like this most days or am I Evil Mother extraordinaire?

I have a toddler (who we utterly adore) and another due in a week but I really don't know how I'm going to deal with two when one drives me totally nutty.

Tell me it's not just me. Please.

I went back to work the day before ds first birthday. I didn't want to go back when he was small but I was terribly lonely.
I have no local friends or family. I would go to bsby clinic almost every week for something to do. I felt like myself again within an hour of going back. I could look lovely (how I look is part of my job),I was in control & had some adults to interact with. Most importantly for me I knew how to do my job inside out,being a mum not so much!
I've just had time off where ds,then dh,then I were ill. I'm going back two days early because I'm exhausted!!
Don't feel guilty,find a good nursery & good luck :)

OP - Playgroup is your friend. Is there one locally which your DC1 can go to? Normally they take them for a few hours a couple of times a week from 2yo?
I would have gone INSANE without it. In fact, the summer holidays when DD was almost 3 and DS was 3mo, and there was no playgroup, was the hardest time of my life. Sorry.

But bizzarely I actually liked going to soft play, as long as I went with friends who could rescue DD if she was in a pickle whilst I was bfing . DD was old enough to more or less run around and sort herself out, baby slept most of the time, I got to have a cuo of tea in peace and a gossip, and best thing was DD would sleep when we got home cos she had worn herself out.

Me too Pragmatic. What dicks. Even if they find that to be the case tell your husband or something - not me. Just makes me feel like a pile of turd.

Thank you tired, ice and boo

Being pregnant with toddlers is a fucker. I'm 25w and have DC aged 4 and 2. My ability to cope with them has plummeted since being pg and I've changed my working days to 4 days a week instead of 3 to let someone else deal with them. I go to work for a break!! This will pass though, once not pg things will be MUCH easier!

When my two were very little (20 month gap) I used to make a beeline in the park etc for other mothers with two close together, especially if they looked quite 'together'; not to be uncaring, but another one of us with a wild panicked look and a cardigan with marmite all down it wasn't going to be helpful to me ;)
That really helped in the early days, I made buddies who knew what it was like with two, but were a bit calmer and more confident than me and it did rub off on me.

Sorry op, but I found toddler plus baby from, say, 3 months to be sodding horrendous. Now have 2.4 year old and 11 month old and for the second time ever they are both having a nap at the same time. I think if you could master the double nap then it would be easier.

I always wanted 4 children, that's what I always dreamed of and imagined family life to be for us... Fuck. That.

Oh GOD. I have a 2 yo and 7 week old. Is it going to get worse?

Oh yes wossname I wanted four children. No fucking way!!!

Mine are at school now.

That is all.

Actually, not. When the second one was about 6 mos, I paid the teenager from next door to come round for an hour after school every day so that I could go for a run with the dog. The eldest was 2.

On what planet does a run become more pleasurable than your own four walls?

When the third one was born with severe sn, I gave up and put the others in nursery. Actually, in the end, the local authority put her in nursery for two mornings a week as well. Just to save my sanity.

Get out of the house. Every day.

Eventually, they will be in school.

Just about to have my 3rd in three wks. So will have 4 year old, nearly 2 year old and a newborn. Dh works away - sometimes think I was bit made going for a 3rd lol.

Im expecting first few months to be a bit grim due to sleep deprivation.

Only saving grace is boys are in daycare 3 days a week and Im planning to stick to that for next couple if months - thank god for enhanced maternity pay.

Ds3 was 2 last month and ds4 is 8 weeks, it's a nightmare! There is a support thread somewhere for those of us with toddlers and newborns.

Luckily everyone says it gets easier and if you can afford nursery a few days a week I'd say go for it

It's nice to know I'm not alone in this new, erm, challenge nightmare

Oh well. What's the worse that can happen? Die of stress-induced heart attack?

Ah, mumofwee, mine were 3.5, 19 mos, and a newborn in scbu.

I had to set my alarm clock through the night when she came home as she couldn't cry, and could only feed during the silent hours due to her muscle tone issues. I had to fit in 24 hours worth of milk during the night, and then deal with a baby and two others under the age of 4 all day.

I'm all for nursery. I was a complete basket case. I look back on what I thought was stress with a single solitary unsleeping baby and proper laugh at myself.

I once asked dh if he would consider a vasectomy reversal for no. 4.

I thought he was going to file for divorce.

Can't remember pg plus toddler being that hard at all really. But baby (after 3 months) plus toddler was a killer!! Couldn't wait to go back to work after ML from dc2. Not having number 3. Lesson learnt. I can't cope with multiple children.

What happens at three months? That's two people saying that

I thought I was through the worse bit?

Op come and hole up with me. Ill dig a shelter in the garden.

Invitation accepted Pickled. Just need to get through labour first. What I did in a last life must have been fairly bad.

I have a 21 month age gap. What saved my sanity was being a member of a gym with a crèche which always had spaces in the afternoon. When losing the plot I would phone them and say I'll be there in 15.

I then went and sat in the sauna for 45 mins, had a shower (alone - bliss) and then go and pick them up and trot home.

Best value gym membership EVER

They are 6 and 4 now and have amused themselves all day whilst I have been decorating. It does improve!

Good luck with #2 and enjoy the relaxing 24hrs in hospital

They sent me home. I nearly had the baby in the car..

Don't let them send you home!

It hasn't been all that bad, really.

I'll be in the same situation in a few weeks - currently 33.5 weeks & expecting an early delivery by c-section - aaargh!

DS is "high maintenance" & we have no family nearby; DP works long hours & is not entitled to paternity leave as just started a new job.

Am dreading CS recovery, being unable to drive & having a very active wee boy who just goes mental if he's round the house.

Namehelp

well you've had a lot of the negatives, but here go the positives:

• when the baby smiles at his big sibling, the first person he has smiled at
• when the baby says his sib's name (wrong, but the nickname sticks)
• when they giggle together - sometimes about you
• when they walk down the road with their arms around each other's shoulders
• when they bugger off to the park together to kick a ball around
• when they make you a cup of tea and a piece of toast and bring it up to you on Mother's day

I could go on but my memory is pretty fucked with all the tiredness

just remember that the enormous snotty smelly toddler who looks huge to you once the second one arrives is still very much a baby. Forgive him.

Jamie!! That's just lovely! Thank you for restoring some faith. A tear almost threatened to leak out then (the good kind for a change).

Lotsof - hope Jamie's post gives you a boost too

Namehelp

You are welcome. And please bear in mind that my experiences are based on a toddler who was so upset about the arrival of his brother that he once (age 3) said "Mummy can you go out of the room so I can hit Charlie", so if it can all come right for me it can for you.

I shoudln't have read this thread. (34wks with DC2, DS 2.6). I knew there was a reason I'm keeping him at the cm when I'm on mat leave though.