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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to not reply to texts asking if I've had the baby yet?

56 replies

ElliesWellies · 01/04/2013 11:11

I feel harassed. Official due date isn't even until tomorrow. Getting extremely pissed off - don't people realise it is RUDE to keep asking?

Yes, I know you are all going to say it's only because people care. But don't they think if there was any news, we would tell them?

OP posts:
Original poster
ElliesWellies · 01/04/2013 11:55

With DS I went into labour at 40+5, born at 40+6. I am telling myself that I can possibly go longer with this one. None of you dissuade me of this, please!

OP posts:
Original poster
ElliesWellies · 01/04/2013 11:56

cannot possibly go longer

OP posts:
GingerGeorge · 01/04/2013 11:57

Text back "Yes! And guess what! It wasn't a baby after all - it was a giant poo!"

ChocsandChipsandSealingWax · 01/04/2013 12:02

Mine were all late/induced - drove me crazy! The Facebook status thing helped, but not with parents and PILs unfortunately.

Well done for the triplets April fool [bugrin]

mumwithovertime · 01/04/2013 12:09

So,you don't want me to tell you that my first was 7 days overdue,my second was 11 days over and my third 13 days over?...........even my twins who were fourth and fifth were close to my due date at 39 weeks and 3 days when I chose to be induced as I was huge ! Hope it all happens very soon as I know how crap it is playing the waiting game.

damnitdamnit · 01/04/2013 12:55

Same here. Due today but as dd1 and dd2 were 2 weeks early I have been asked every day for the past three weeks Confused. Hope it happens soon for you.

elliejjtiny · 01/04/2013 13:08

YANBU. The questions started at 30 weeks with DS3, despite being overdue with the others. Then when I was induced my sister put updates on facebook, despite not actually knowing anything eg "won't be long now" etc and then announced his birth before I'd had the chance to do it myself which really annoyed me. DC4 is due in July and I've lied about the date and have no intention of ringing anyone until we are home from hospital.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion · 01/04/2013 13:12

Athene, Artemis and Apollo were born this morning at 10.01, 10.05 and 10.09 respectively. We will let you know when you can come and visit once we have got over the shock of Apollo turning out to be a baby giraffe whom we have now sent over to Africa [bugrin]

redwellybluewelly · 01/04/2013 13:20

I ended up turning texts to silent and deleting my FB I was so so sick of the questions.

Just tell them they'll be told when there is news.

This time we're booked for an ELCS, we know the two dates it may be, we're not telling a soul and we'll let people know when we want people to know. We've also been deliberately very vague about the EDD partly because its been changed three times already even before CS was booked!

cupcake78 · 01/04/2013 13:33

I wouldn't reply, let them stew. They will find out when baby and you are ready to tell them. We have told the parents and direct family ds (5) will be the first to be told by phone by me and he will be the first to visit his little brother or sister before anyone else. Dh will collect him and bring him into hospital. The rest of the direct family will be told at the same time via text once baby is here but I still plan to have a few hours post birth of no fuss and nobody knowing. They can visit us in hospital once then wait till we get home and unless we need them they will come out of school hours so ds is there also and we get to sleep during school hours.

You also run the risk of them contacting you constantly to catch you in labour. If there is an emergency they can text me the details otherwise the people who want to pester (pil) can disappear!

Yes it's stubborn and not very caring but with ds I got pestered continuously day and night with people (pil) finding excuses just to drop in, phone up etc. We had visitors daily for 3weeks. That will not be happening again.

Trazzletoes · 01/04/2013 13:38

Direct them here

Grin
Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:41

I wouldn't dream of texting to ask if someone had had a baby. They will tell me when they have. Bonkers.

lovetomoan · 01/04/2013 15:51

YANBU. A friend asked me on whatsapp: when do the doctors say the baby is going to be born?

I was being induced. Showed text to my MIL and she laughed. I laughed. I replied: Only God knows.

Annunziata · 01/04/2013 15:57

I am so glad I gave birth in the dark ages when facebook and texts weren't around!

MsPepperminCreams · 01/04/2013 16:33

Put on Facebook that you've lost your phone and for everyone to contact you on DH's phone - and don't give people his number. (Easier for him to ignore) Then turn your facebook wall and private message settings off so no one can bug you on there either. And switch off tagging so people can't do those annoying "Congratulations to X and Y on the birth of Z" statuses.

oldraver · 01/04/2013 18:12

We have a baby due in the family two days ago and I'm not sure if we will be texted (Dad is one of 8) but I wouldn't dream of asking. We will hear one way or another.

The Dads father (my sort of FIL) was a triplet himself so I think everyone would take it seriously if the Mum said she had had triplets, even though its not on her side.

SneezySnatcher · 01/04/2013 18:38

I am not due until Saturday and I'm already getting texts asking if there are any signs! MIL keeps saying "any day now," and my mum texts every day to tell me to text her when things start (not going to happen)!

DD's godparents are up visiting next week and her godmother sent me a message saying she hoped I'd have had the baby by then Angry. I politely replied that you don't get to choose when the baby comes and now a (very tiny) part of me hopes he hasn't just to spite her!

If we didn't need childcare for DD, I wouldn't even tell anyone I was in labour (except DH)! We only told people after DD arrived last time.

BippyB · 01/04/2013 19:05

Not unreasonable! To avoid asinine enquiries on the day, I refused to ever tell anyone my "due date" (does anyone actually think that babies dutifully arrive on a date more or less assigned at random by medical professionals?). This still did not deter the asinine enquiries of course, to the extent that I eventually posted on FB that "I will not be answering queries, however polite, on whether anything is "happening". Nor will there be a live Twitter feed, a downloadable video, or anything else. OK?" Things went a bit quieter after that.

MrsJaqenHgar · 01/04/2013 19:11

I went 10 days overdue and had to turn off the FB chat function as I was inundated every time I logged on. Any texts got the reply 'I can't seem to find time to have the baby as I'm busy answering pointless text messages'. I'll not win any awards for diplomacy but it shut up the persistent buggers.

Original poster
ElliesWellies · 13/04/2013 16:48

Update on this - thankfully didn't have long to wait, DD arrived on 3rd April. Fairly straightforward labour, though a large baby at 9lbs 8oz! Some complications afterwards but luckily nothing with long-term effects, we are both home now and doing well. She is really yummy and luckily quite relaxed so far. We always knew we would stick at two children (also have 2yo DS) and I am so glad to have finished with childbirth!!

OP posts:
MrsJaqenHgar · 13/04/2013 16:49

Congratulations :)

ChaoticTranquility · 13/04/2013 17:14

Congratulations Thanks

Original poster
ElliesWellies · 13/04/2013 17:31

Thank you!

OP posts:
lightsandshapes · 13/04/2013 17:36

Oooh I hated that. Next time I will be giving a due date 1 month later.....

Reply..... Stop asking, I'm trying to nest and cocoon and you're stressing me with questions!

lola88 · 13/04/2013 19:21

I just used to reply with really gross stuff eg no but his heads pushing down and it's making me need a poo maybe it's a sign... stopped it pretty quickly :)