Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childcare costs- someone talk me through the outrage

446 replies

Suzietwo · 31/03/2013 15:00

Is it just me or does it seem a bit grabby of mothers to be getting cross about the change to child care rules?

I thought the rules were being changed to try and encourage people to work. Ie to give them more choice and be option generating aka A. Good. Thing.

But the stay at home mums voice in the media just sounds a bit self important.

Don't misunderstand me, I am entirely on favour of people and families making decisions which suit them. This isn't about that. It's about people being a bit....indulged? Make a choice, stick with it. The more choices which are available the better so if the gvnt can help (a different argument about whether they should) by offering money to assist people go to work, then fab. But don't demand it for making the choice to stay at home.

OP posts:
Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 21:41

Oh and it goes both ways Janey.I think you'll find the maj of women want to be with their dc but get no help to do so.Just because you didn't want to be with your dc doesn't mean others feel the same.

janey68 · 31/03/2013 21:42

Families up to 100k will only keep CB if both working, and frankly with childcare costs they could still end up no better off than the SAHM with a 50k earning husband. The only way a 100k couple could NOT be paying a shed load of childcare would be if they're getting it free from grandma and frankly you can't base legislation on personal family decisions. Some adults are given free childcare, house deposits and god knows what. It doesn't make it unfair that most people don't though . Having paid nursery fees out of taxed income for many years i don't begrudge WOHP from childcare help.

janey68 · 31/03/2013 21:43

And I love being with my children thanks kazoo, so need need for the superior snidey comments. They're great company.

janey68 · 31/03/2013 21:45

NO need for the snidey comments. They don't add anything to the argument- they just highlight that you can't get your head round the fact that some mums enjoy working and
Being a mum kazoo

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 21:47

Erm don't kids start school at 4,many families I know also do shift work and do indeed have grandparents and sorry on a 100k with 2 tax allowances you most certainly don't deserve CB more than a family on 50k.Hmm

My sister earns double joint what we earn and has no childcare costs for her 4 year olds.She's keeping CB,we're losing it-ridiculosly unfair.

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 21:50

And you can't get your head round the idea that the majority of mums if asked would prefer to be with their dc in the early years.

Just because you didn't want to doesn't mean others shouldn't be helped to do so.

LittleChickpea · 31/03/2013 21:50

I see this is going down the usual route (bash the Gov, unfair society, benefits to £100k joint income etc,) but I am genuinely interested in your view on this Kazoo. I would like to understand. How would you change the system and taking into account the economy how could the Gov make this financially sustainable...

janey68 · 31/03/2013 21:51

Well why be envious of your free loading sister? Your husband is on a good income. No point being envious just because some people are on higher. And frankly I'd feel I was taking the piss earning good money and using a relative as a free childminder.

janey68 · 31/03/2013 21:52

I can totally get my head round it kazoo. I just don't see why they should be given financial perks for it

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 21:54

For a start get rid of benefits for rich pensioners,reverse their help for rich millionaires,stop wasting money on help for rich families with childcare.....

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 21:58

50k-60k is not a lot at all when you factor in the single tax allowance,40%,high mortgage,loss of CB etc.

My sister is lovely and thinks the CB changes are outrageous (as does just about everybody bar wallpaper boy).

Failedhippy · 31/03/2013 22:00

As is the norm with benefits, people WILL take advantage and 'seek' work but are paid for child are while doing so but not really be actively looking! Our childcare bill is eye watering...oh if only I was a 'single parent' then it would be funded. Joke really seeing as from what I've heard alot of (unethical) married/ co-habiting couples claim tax credits as single parents and are paid to go to work....absolutely disgusting.

janey68 · 31/03/2013 22:00

Ah the politics of envy then kazoo?
Take it away from them and give to poor SAHM kazoo with her 50k
husband ... Yeap I can really see the attraction of that policy !!

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 22:03

Envy errr no,anger at blatant unfairness,ill thought out ridiculous policies yes.

LittleChickpea · 31/03/2013 22:10

You really believe that would cover the increased benefits bill? I am logical but I need something more substantial to be able agree with your position. Because ultimately we would be paying for someones life choice. Financially it has to be ecconomically logical. So far (on all threads i have read) I have yet to hear a strong financially sound argument for providing those benefits. How would this help us out of the mess we are in?

I also agree with the poster that said as adults we should consider the financial cost before we have children. I believe it's a parents responsibility to bring up that child and provide for it financially. It's unfair to expect society to pay the cost. I think society (tax) is there to help those in most financial need not those that choose a lifestyle.

Again this is all stuff that's has been said before by me and others... Not sure there will ever be agreement on this subject.

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 22:12

No there won't Little as the need for childcare could be seen as a lifestyle choice.

janey68 · 31/03/2013 22:15

I dont think you're going to get an answer that adds up littlechick Grin

LittleChickpea · 31/03/2013 22:17

Those in most need will be on a lot less than £50k and I am sure their concerns will be above and beyond the childcare argument.

LittleChickpea · 31/03/2013 22:19

I always hope for one but I never do Janey [busad]. I really want to keep an open mind but I need those logical answers.

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 22:22

I'm sure they could think of something that would begin to help but they don't,far too busy keeping the grey vote and millionaires happy which is why we shall all enjoy the next few decades the Tories spend in oblivion totally unelectable.

HappyMummyOfOne · 31/03/2013 22:26

We dont need to pay people to stay at home and raise children, why on earth should we? We all make lifestyle choices, its down to ourselves to pay for them.

The country and world economy is in dire straights and people want to be paid to stay at home! Being a parent is not a job, its a choice. One that many choose and still work to support that choice.

Instead of being thankful that we have maternity pay and rights, people want their cake and eat it. A salary for becoming a parent, god forbid we go back to an era when people paid for their own children.

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 22:31

Not not paid to stay at home just helped to do what the vast maj of mothers/children want for a short period of time

On the other hand you're right having children is a lifestyle choice so maybe if families aren't going to be helped parents should save for childcare before having children.It's hardly a secret that childcare is another expense.

HappyMummyOfOne · 31/03/2013 22:32

Ahhn so you domt want payment just help? Nanny, au pair, nursery?

LittleChickpea · 31/03/2013 22:33

This is what confuses me. How do you know what's in place is wrong if you don't have ideas for improvement? Labour have already indicated that they wouldn't change a lot of the policies (not just this) now in place because of the economy. they are only jumping on the issues that create a buzz in the press. They haven't actually said anything about their intentions. So counting on that card may prove to be disappointing. UKIP, are jumping on th SAHP band wagon bEcause the Gov stamped on their Europian ticket a few months ago but no one takes them seriously anyway! Not sure where the LD sits but not sure their sure where they sit right now.

Kazooblue · 31/03/2013 22:34

Nope help to enable what the vast maj of women and children want.

CB and tax allowance transfer would help for a start.