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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

well yes probably. But I'm sad and disappointed so let me have a whinge.

38 replies

OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:17

DD was sick at about 9pm, in her bed .

So I phoned my sister and let her know DD was poorly so we wouldn't be coming for lunch with all the family.

This morning DD got up, ran around, had an easter egg and has now gone out in the garden on her bike.

I phoned my sister to say that obvioulsy it was her call but I think DD might have eaten something that disagreed with her rather than it being a bug.

She categorically said NO, we are not risking it.

So we are staying home and making do. Which is fine.

BUT.

I have looked after her two dc all week. And they've been ill. High temperatures, dosed up with Calpol, clingy and upset. And not only has she worked, she's worked late every day.

And I KNOW sickness is different from tonsilitis but I am just a bit sad and cross that we've been told to stay away with our germs when the same didnt' apply in reverse.

I'm just having a moan here, it's not the end of the world and it's not something I'm going to bring up. I'm just looking for a bit of validation for my whinge.

AIBU?

OP posts:
KobayashiMaru · 31/03/2013 13:20

Why didn't you ask her why the rules were different for yours?

lljkk · 31/03/2013 13:20

yanbu to feel what you feel, but I can see SIL's side, too.
On the whole I think vomitting bugs are far worse than high fever bugs.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 31/03/2013 13:21

sorry but yabu, and presumeably no one put a gun to your head and forced you to look after her dc's.

Kansas · 31/03/2013 13:22

I'm sorry your day hasn't turned out as planned. Sad I agree it is her call tbh, but it was your call to say no to looking after her sick children also.
I think it's lovely that you were still willing to help her out but because I'm bitter I would probably not be helping her out with sick kids in the future. Blush

At least DD is better and able to enjoy her chocolate. [busmile]

Original poster
OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:23

What a bizarre comment. Of course no one forced me to. Just like I'm not forcing my DC on her.

Confused

I did say it was just a whinge.

OP posts:
Original poster
OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:25

Thank you. I'm just a bit sad that she doens't extend the same courtesy to me and mine and we do to her and hers.

But I know that's up to me.

OP posts:
TobyLerone · 31/03/2013 13:25

I'm with your sister. But if it bothers you, next time don't have her children over while they're ill.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 31/03/2013 13:25

"and not only has she worked, she has worked late every day" why is that relevant? I would refuse to host a vomitty child, sick bugs are the pits.

TWinklyLittleStar · 31/03/2013 13:25

Why is it relevant that she worked? Presumably she had to, and didn't actually want to leave her sick children. Sounds like you have issues with her. Also if her kids are only just better, I can see why she doesn't want to risk them getting sick again.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 31/03/2013 13:26

I'm glad DD is feeling better :)

On one hand I think your sister is being over the top, it seems your DD is fine - but on the other hand, if her kids are run down after tonsilitis, avoiding any other potential illness is probably a good idea Confused

Though, I think it's a bit shitty of her to say 'No, keep your bugs away' when you've just spent a week looking after her sick kids though. Maybe be a little less helpful next time - in a very obvious manner!

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 31/03/2013 13:28

I think a lot of posters are chocolate deprived - you're getting an unnecessary pasting here - try not to take it personally :)

pompompom · 31/03/2013 13:28

Well, given that we've just had 2 sick bugs in 2 weeks that both initially looked like a one off puking incident, yabu. I'd do the same thing as your sister tbh.

You're entitled to a whinge though :)

Pagwatch · 31/03/2013 13:29

I think you are mostly just disappointed.
The two things might feel the same, but they are not.
I would take a child who was feeling off colour and hot. I would really not want a vomiting child.

But if it feels better to moan a bit then do.

Original poster
OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:32

NOt only has she worked, as in not taken any of her own time off to look after them but sent them to me, but she worked late, coming back at 6pm instead of the agreed 4pm.

I coul;d have refused to have them but I didn't.

She doesn't want to have a sick bug herself. Incidentally if her DC are puking she still expects me to have them. DC2 was sick the other morning but that was ok because it was just high temperature. She only let me know this AFTER she'd picked them up.

OP posts:
Original poster
OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:33

Thanks for understanding and letting me rant.

OP posts:
formicaqueen · 31/03/2013 13:35

Can you text her back and just say it will be the same illness her children had last week while you were looking after them?

TobyLerone · 31/03/2013 13:36

Why would the OP do that, formicaqueen?

Original poster
OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:38

No. It's too late now anyway, dinner has been and gone.

But honestly, it's not something I would have pushed. I just feel a bit humphy. I suppose I was expecting her to say, 'no matter, all family and germs together, we'll risk it' which is what I would have said. But she's not me.

I have a lot of other stuff going on at the moment and I think I'm blowing the small things out of proportion so I can have easier things to focus on, if that makes sense.

I'll get my zen head back on in a mo.

OP posts:
diddl · 31/03/2013 13:45

I suppose the difference is that you helped her when she needed help.

I'm thinking that she couldn't have worked were it not for you?

However, your child doesn't need to be with her today.

I can understand why you are annoyed.

But you asked & she said no!

Original poster
OestraJen · 31/03/2013 13:49

Thank you, that's it exactly. And I do know I'm being silly.

We're having cobbled together curry for lunch and eating the lovely desserts I made. It'll be a lovely day.

OP posts:
Iatemyskinnyperson · 31/03/2013 13:55

Are you her CM? She sounds a bit selfish TBH. If you were just doing her a favour I'd be v pissed off at her attitude. If you are her CM then you might think of setting ground rules re sick kiddos.

But I can see why your upset. I would be too Thanks

oldraver · 31/03/2013 13:56

I think you should of said "I think dd has what your children have had this week" and then gauged her reaction

pompompom · 31/03/2013 14:55

So your DD picked up the bug from her kids after you'd been looking after them,then she refused to let you come over?

Yeah... Don't think I'd be rushing to do any childcare favours for her in the near future! Are you a SAHM by any chance?

shockers · 01/04/2013 09:56

Text her pictures of your DD wolfing down the puddings you made Grin.

Hope you have a fab day.

Hissy · 01/04/2013 10:05

I think you need to study the effort YOU are putting in caring for her DC, when clearly your DD is ill specifically because you've had hers all week.

She needs to sort, and pay for, her own childcare. Like the rest of us have to.