Bit of background: I am 30 and have slept with 2 people; my ex partner whom I was with for seven years, and my current DP whom I have been with for 18 months.
I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 22. This was not through lack of opportunity/trying. I suffered from very severe vaginismus, which is a psycho-somatic condition where the vagina tenses up during penetration making sex impossible and very painful. I went to counselling and worked very, very hard at overcoming it until I could have sex.
The trouble is, I don't think I am very good at it. I am never 100% relaxed, meaning that there is always a bit of pain on entry and if it goes on for too long I get quite sore. I am very inexperienced and lack confidence as a result.
My current DP is wonderful; very loving and attentive and only cares about pleasuring me. Trouble is, I want it to be good for him too and although he says it is I sometimes don't believe him. I'm sure everyone else is off swinging from the chandeliers, whereas I can only manage me on top or him on top and even then I am racked with insecurities - I am moving right, should I be doing something different, etc?
I've asked my DP to tell me what he wants and if everything's ok - he says it's great but I just don't believe him. It's getting to the stage where I avoid sex because I don't want to be a disappointment to him 
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I wish I could just shag with abandon like everyone else. I am glad I finally can have sex, because there was a time I thought I'd be a virgin forever, but because I am never fully relaxed it just isn't great for me and therefore not for him.
I am not sure what the point of this post is, I've been worrying all night as we tried something new last night and it just didn't work and hurt too much. I'm not a 16 year old girl, this shouldn't happen.