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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit irked at being called 'Lady'?

41 replies

ConfusedPixie · 28/03/2013 22:59

I got a text yesterday from somebody I was looking to rent a room from starting with "Hi Lady."

AIBU to be a bit irked by this and to find it a bit rude? She knows my full name, it's on the email I sent her originally and on every text I have sent her!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 28/03/2013 23:00

Is she british? In some cultures it is seen as polite.

WorraLiberty · 28/03/2013 23:00

Perhaps it was a typo and should have read

"Hi Lardy"?

willyoulistentome · 28/03/2013 23:01

It sounds a bit like someone who's first language is not English. Dont take offence.

AgentZigzag · 28/03/2013 23:04

Hahaha worra Grin

Agree with willy that as it's not how someone would usually start a text/email with, it might not be their first language.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 28/03/2013 23:06

Ooh I love 'Lady'
I can make it sound lovely and polite "Would you ask the lady to..."

or like a New York Traffic Cop "Hey! Lady!"

There's no offence meant in lady (Some of my patients who are Indian or Asian call me "Madam". It's a polite term used in the right way ie not the madam in a brothel type way) Blush

LadyKinbote · 28/03/2013 23:06

Nothing wrong with being a Lady you know Grin

LadyBeaEGGleEyes · 28/03/2013 23:09

I agree it could be a culture/language thing.

ArtVandelay · 28/03/2013 23:10

Sounds like someone European, I think they think its like saying Maam IME. But I agree it sounds rude as anything. Someone once called me Miss - I went mental and said that's like calling someone Fraulein (disrespectful) and they got really upset because they didn't realise. Find out more about them before you blast them (vows to take own advice).

ArtVandelay · 28/03/2013 23:13

Madam grates on me as well. I know I'm rude as hell in my other languages though (mostly unintentionally) so I try and swallow it.

AgentZigzag · 28/03/2013 23:14

Yeah?

You go and say that on the feminist boards LadyK Grin

I dares yer.

Original poster
ConfusedPixie · 28/03/2013 23:15

She's a Brit, perfect English too, unlike most some of the Brits I've contacted who have replied in txtspk that I really struggle to read. She seems a bit 'quirky' so I thought it might be a quirk, but it still seems a bit rude and I am also quite 'quirky'!

Worra

OP posts:
tigerdriverII · 28/03/2013 23:18

Think it depends how much you want the room. I don't like 'lady' at all but I really loathe "dear Tiger Driver' as opposed to 'ms Driver"

SummerFin · 28/03/2013 23:18

I think it's meant as a sweet term - babe/hun/sweetie etc.

It was a woman who said it to you. Might be offensive if a man said it to you.

I really wouldn't let it bother you. Reply back to her - "thanks woman"

Original poster
ConfusedPixie · 28/03/2013 23:18

I should add that we loved the place because of the quirkiness! It's difficult to find people under 35 who aren't regular party-goers or all students (who won't have professionals living with them due to council tax!)

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/03/2013 23:20

Now you've said she's a Brit, I'm imagining Bet Lynch Grin

Original poster
ConfusedPixie · 28/03/2013 23:21

SummerFin could well be, she has used sweet terms in past texts. Love the reply though Grin

I haven't replied, but only because she text me whilst I was working yesterday evening and I forgot to reply Blush

worra Just had to google Bet Lynch, I don't have a telly is my defense! I feel like I should know characters from TV shows!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 28/03/2013 23:22

What you don't want is to get six months down the line and be kicking yourselves because all the warning signs were there that she was an out and out psychopathic stalker not your typical LL material.

Original poster
ConfusedPixie · 28/03/2013 23:29

Oh, & we don't particularly need it as desperately now as our landlady offered to drop our rent by a significant amount to stay :) It means putting up with the twat in the room opposite us but it saves us a huge hassle of trying to find another house we like for the time being that may not be right! We love our landlady and landlord and HRH LandCat so feel like we can stay until we find other people who suit us.

Agent: That's what we're trying to avoid. We've turned down three places because they didn't feel right. We need somewhere that I'll be able to sleep without interruptions, which is almost impossible to know until you get somewhere! (I have chronic fatigue & pain so my sleep is really important! twat housemate used to wake me regularly until I shouted at him and called him a prick Blush when he woke me at 5am)

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 28/03/2013 23:40

Fucking hell! Don't be embarrassed at shouting he was a twat, good on you! Grin

Although it's probably me who should be ashamed because I know I'd have shouted much more than just telling him the obvious Grin

You sound like a better person than me.

AgentZigzag · 28/03/2013 23:41

Sorry, 'prick' not 'twat'.

Prick/twat = total arsewipe

Original poster
ConfusedPixie · 28/03/2013 23:57

It was 5am when I shouted, my landlords were asleep upstairs! I didn't wake them though thankfully! Grin He's been a lot quieter since! I should've snapped sooner, he was spoken too about it by landlady a few months ago and within three days he woke me up again.

I have complained about him a lot on here, not just for the nocturnal issues! It's good stress relief! Grin

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 28/03/2013 23:59

can I add that I've been called "Lady" by Irish Travelers a lot. I sometimes work with community groups and Lady seems to be the title of choice when you're over 30!

Original poster
ConfusedPixie · 29/03/2013 00:08

Hm, so far I have a choice between having actually been called 'Lardy', or being over the age of 30 (when I'm only 23). I might get offended soon Wink

Interesting to know though, that it's common for those from other countries or ethnic groups to use terms like Lady to address people. The only time I've really heard it is when it's being used to address somebody who is about to be insulted or in an affronted tone of voice!

OP posts:
maddening · 29/03/2013 06:56

I think quirky

I sometimes start with different salutations - "hey up lass" is a recent one to be read in a yorkshire accent.

Cakebitch · 29/03/2013 07:00

Its one of those "new" things that people say. Bit like hun, or chick. Noticed my friends using it a lot recently. Irks me slightly, too.