Not to understand: Your House/Wedding/Child Your Rules?

[Hullygully]

What happened to manners?

What happened to consideration for other people, putting one's guests first, or making people feel comfortable or just mutually agreeing a framework of behaviour around kids?

How can it work if everyone has Me Me Mine about Their Rules??

Oh Lordy yes Maryz.

Where have you been?

ICBINEG It's a bit Ursula Leguin but I would like to see 'my child' outlawed from the language and replaced with 'the child I am responsible for' or maybe 'the child' or just their name....thinking of children as belongings is a Bad Thing.

I agree with this.

But my children ARE my possessions.

I am going to ebay them in due course.

Can one ebay? As a verb?

Wally, I very much like both your name and your use of "ding dong"

you can definitely ebay as a verb....

Salmo - it's the lack of blinking during eye contact that makes it frightening, to make it worse, add a slight tick....

You, Hully, are part of Broken Britain. I will be writing a stirring (in both senses) polemic for a national newspaper about you, in due course.

man I really really wanted to deploy the HTH there...I could have gotten away with it...but it's just TOO PA.....I always back away from the brink...

DingDong!

i just wanted to enquire on where one could purchase some "cunt bunting"?

MY BELL, MY RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

except it's her bell

Oh, unless it is your portable one, SOZ

Yes i take it everywhere I go, for maximum DING DONG!

I prefer no shoes in the house and my friends know this.Imo everybody is allowed to have an 'odd thing' but it is how you express it.

I agree with the op and i think that you can play by your rules only but then you must accept that people can be rigid too. For example you can decide to marry abroad but dont expect people to pay 1K in flights to come, you can ban your ILs from your house but dont complain about lack of babysitting, you can throw in the bin the xmas present because it was pink but then dont complain if your children dont receive easter eggs and so on.

YANBU. Rude, rude, rude.

I agree with regards to rules in the house. I hope that any guests in my home feel welcome and comfortable enough to do what they like.

However, I've watched several friends spoil their own wedding in their attempts to please others, so am a big advocate of people putting themselves first on their wedding day.

I don't think you can lump 'my child, my rules' with 'my house/ wedding my rules' etc...

I have pulled the 'my child, my rules' out for mil when all other discussion failed. It was nothing to do with manners.

I was requesting that my pre-schoolers who can't swim did need an adult in the pool with them, especially given it was over their heads.
Mil insisted they were safe and could 'hang onto the side'.

DH and I weren't there, before anyone asks why we weren't in the pool too.

Tbh I don't think parenting is 'decision by committee'. Of course there many influences in a childs life, and advice should be offered/received, opinions respected and experiences shared between wider family and friends. But at the end of the day, parents or caregivers make the decisions about their children.

It's not a free-for-all, nor should it be. So IMO, in the right situation 'my child, my rules' is absolutely fine.

Incidentally, where I live it's considered bad manners not to take your shoes off when going into someone else's house. I twigged eventually after committing many a faux pas.