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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have dinner ready when i come home please?

39 replies

dropdeaddivalover · 27/03/2013 20:12

DH said these words as he was on his way out to the gym.

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit pissed?!

I cook when he comes in which is about 8:30 and its always fresh food from scratch.

The reason i cook late is he goes to gym and sometimes i'm really tired / stressed after a long day and need a relaxing moment in front of TV, not too much really to ask is it?

Background:
I am a full time carer for disabled DD who is not school age and we cannot afford a child minder if in FTwork so no way we can afford for me to go back to work and earn a low wage.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 27/03/2013 20:15

I'd be telling him where to shove the gym equipment.

If he can't eat at the same time as you, either make something HE can heat up or tell him to get cooking.

Annunziata · 27/03/2013 20:16

The gym?! YANBU.

Granitetopping · 27/03/2013 20:18

What are you? The help or his partner? He can fuck right off!

Salmotrutta · 27/03/2013 20:19
Shock

Tell him to cook his own dinner!

When do you get to go out??

EggsPressYourself · 27/03/2013 20:20

If he is saying that earnestly, then I'm really genuinely sorry but you are married to an utter prick.

But I'm sorry I have nothing constructive to add, other than its a crystal clear YANBU.

StuffezLaBouche · 27/03/2013 20:21

Do people really talk to their partners like that?? Ugh, sickening.

WildThong · 27/03/2013 20:22

Seriously? Shock

Fleecyslippers · 27/03/2013 20:24

Is he being entirely serious ? Cos if so, I'd be in the bath with a glass of wine and the door locked when he comes in. You could always leave a takeaway menu by the phone.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 20:24

Does he usually say things like that to you???

Numberlock · 27/03/2013 20:25

I'd have something ready but it would be his packed bags.

Or the sight of me off out for the night with the words "Have my breakfast ready when I get back".

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 20:25

I would place an old shoe on a dish and leave it on the table...then I'd piss off to bed....or order in a nice pizza, scoff it all and leave the crusts for him.

Hegsy · 27/03/2013 20:26

Think I'd be telling him to go take a run and fuck to himself! Angry when does he have DD for you, when does he make dinner? Does he help in other ways? You ar soooooo not being unreasonable by the way!

AuntieMaggie · 27/03/2013 20:27

I wouldn't cook - have a night off!

thebody · 27/03/2013 20:28

What a twat.. Get in the bath. Open wine and let this prick cook for himself.

Zavi · 27/03/2013 20:29

YABU.

Your OH is treating you like a doormat and you're asking us if he's being unreasonable?!

YABU for putting up with that shit and you've got no one to blame but yourself!

You also describe yourself as "full time carer" for your DD. Don't you "allow" her Dad to look after her too then?

Stop looking for sympathy and go and grow some balls!

ilovepowerhoop · 27/03/2013 20:29

I'd have cooked it really early and then left his portion to go cold (you could eat your own while its still warm)!

TryDrawing · 27/03/2013 20:36

If I had a butler, who i paid, and I spoke to him that way, I would be being quite rude. If I said the same thing to dh, I would be being very very rude.

The correct phrasing is: "I'd like to go to the gym for a bit. Would you be able to sort dinner out tonight? I'll cook tomorrow."

Anything less pleasant and considerate than that is just disrespectful. Do you feel your dh respects you and sees you as his equal?

ZZZenAgain · 27/03/2013 20:38

have bread , butter, cheese and a tomato sitting on the table waiting for him to make his own sandwich.

Do it every single time every gym

CookieLady · 27/03/2013 20:49

You're joking. You've been at home all day caring for your disabled child and he expects dinner on the table for when he gets in from the gym?! Tell him to fuck off. He should be cooking dinner for you.

Fairylea · 27/03/2013 20:53

Soooooo unreasonable of him!!

He should sort himself out something when he gets in! Cheeky sod!

I am a sahm and do the cooking but I do it when I feel like it and not timed to suit dh.

If dh isn't home or is home late its up to him to do something for him when he's in and he never complains about it.

YouTheCat · 27/03/2013 20:54

I like the shoe idea.

Morloth · 27/03/2013 20:57

I think you should cook yourself something lovely, and leave all the washing up out so he can see that you have eaten dinner.

Then off to bed for a nice early night.

Wolfiefan · 27/03/2013 21:02

Open a tin of cat food. Leave out a fork!
(Or suggest he cooks while you pop out for a beauty treatment.)
Never has the word "twunt" been more deserved.

starfishmummy · 27/03/2013 21:13

YANBUT.
Before or disabled ds started school and I was coping with all his medical needs/therapies and appointments; Dh would arrive home from work and he would cook the meal for all of us.
(He still does sometimes)

simplesusan · 27/03/2013 21:18

YANBU.

Do you get time away from the home to relax?

If not start an arrange an evening out with friends. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just a few drinks in the pub.