Have dinner ready when i come home please?

[dropdeaddivalover]

DH said these words as he was on his way out to the gym.

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit pissed?!

I cook when he comes in which is about 8:30 and its always fresh food from scratch.

The reason i cook late is he goes to gym and sometimes i'm really tired / stressed after a long day and need a relaxing moment in front of TV, not too much really to ask is it?

Background:
I am a full time carer for disabled DD who is not school age and we cannot afford a child minder if in FTwork so no way we can afford for me to go back to work and earn a low wage.

Well, at least he said please...

Which, in my book, would entitle him to whatever I'd had, ready to be reheated in the microwave. Or ready to be dumped down his shorts if he complained about the above.

YASNBU.

I would have told to make sure the take away doesn't get cold when buys it after his work out.

1900 called - can it have its time traveller back please?

told him

And btw, if he pulls the one my OH tried last year

I go out work -

He would earn a lot less if he had work part time to care for his DD while you "go out to work"

I've reported.

why?

Seriously, stop making a rod for your own back!
You decide when you eat if you are the one cooking it. If he's at the gym or its later than he wants, or earlier for that matter, then he sorts himself out, or reheats something if you have made enough for both of you

He is an adult FGS! You have more than enough to do caring for your DD.
I'd definitely make a stand tonight and either not cook, or cook late deliberately to make a point.
You are not 'staff'. He is not entitled to request room service at any given time 24 hours a day! Stop acting like a mug

Hmm.

Ok, I'll play. Why does he talk you like that. Is it normal in your family? Do you always cook, or do you take turns? Need a bit more info here.

I know a woman who has been married for over 20 years and her dh has never, ever, not once prepared a meal for her, himself or anyone. When she was in hospital he got takeaways for him and the dcs. Seriously, some people do live like this

I'd give him dinner. It would be a huge helping of kiss my arse.

Until my mum was very ill (about 4 years ago) my dad was able to cook scrambled eggs and porridge.

BUT he then started learning.

AND they are in their 80s so came from that "generation"

Mind you, he always did dishes and hoovering and stuff.

I hope you didn't "have his dinner ready" OP!

at Hec

actually, i'm going to go against the tide here and say i think it depends how it was said. If ordered in a shouty, aggressive way then yes, out of order. BUT i think if you don't start cooking till 8.30 a and it is your turn/one of your 'responsibilities' which has mutually been decided/allocated then i think that is quite late to eat. I would also say 'actually i am really hungry so is it okay if you can 'have dinner ready when i get home, please'? I think that is perfectly reasonable actually. Of course if you then said 'no i can't for x,y & z reason' then that is also reasonable. If that makes sense.

I cook dinner in this family and i have it ready for when people are hungry. Otherwise what would be the point of that being one of my chores.

I think it's all in the tone.

When I didn't have a 'job' and was home as carer for DS I felt it was fair I make dinner for dh BUT I now work from home and am a carer at same time and I eat with the children at 4 ish. Dh cooks for himself.

Why don't you just cook and eat earlier, and leave him a plate in the microwave?

If you are cooking for yourself and DD anyway, surely plating up his portion and leaving it in the microwave for him to heat up is no extra effort for you.

Whereas arriving home and peeling potatoes etc at 8:30 at night would be a fair bit of effort for him.

YABU to not make him a portion to heat up himself. If he is not happy with this arrangement he can cook his own dinner.

It's hard to tell from your email if he was being rude or not, it all about the tone. He did say please.