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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give up a secure council tenancy..................................

61 replies

SlowlyWakingUp · 27/03/2013 14:32

We were 'given' a 3 bed 2nd floor (no lift) flat a year ago after spending 2 years stuck in temporary housing (a 3 bed house).

We did not want the flat (got massively flamed on here) but were told we would have to take it or we would be evicted from the temporary house. We have 4 DCs, one a toddler and yes I was pregnant BEFORE getting into this position, and this has really been the hardest time of my life as we have no garden for the DCs to play or to dry washing, have to lug kids, bags and stuff up and down 2 flights of stairs etc. It has meant that the mental health issues that I have had caused by the circumstances of us being homeless in the first place, have been exacerbated and prolonged.

We had to wait a year for the tenancy to become secure and now we can request a transfer. Only I have been told that we will have to wait 3/4 years for a house.

We can try to swop but what family would realistically move from a house to a grotty 2nd floor flat?

I really can't face the thought of another summer stuck inside (there seems to be a constant police presence here and the DCs have been called 'cunts' etc on the few times they went out to play alone) and the neighbours swear up to the ceiling about the noise the DCs make, nothing excessive just normal kids noise but also have noisy parties and massive rows in the street so I am constantly on alert and trying to keep the DCs quiet which is stressful in itself.

I really feel that we no option but to try to privately rent again to get out of here even though the cost is prohibitive and we were 'moved on' from 3 privately rented houses in 3 years before we became homeless and after we lost our OWN home and the insecurity was a nightmare and that is my biggest problem with doing it again.

I just cannot do this for another 3 years! I am so envious of people who live in houses and can't get my head round that as I always lived in one until now and never even thought about it. AIBU???

OP posts:

auforfoulkesake · 27/03/2013 16:10

you might have a house in another horrible area though.

Viviennemary · 27/03/2013 16:13

You should try to swap because some people don't want the bother of a garden so might prefer a flat. If you can afford private rental then maybe you should look at that again. it's a really difficult decision but you sound really stressed out and unhappy at the moment. I hope you get something sorted out.

thezebrawearspurple · 27/03/2013 16:14

I don't know how wise it would be but yadnbu to want to get out of what sounds like a very stressful situation. Hope it works out for you

LazyMonkeyButler · 27/03/2013 16:50

I don't think YABU BUT I would also be very hesitant to give up a secure Council tenancy.

I know someone else mentioned this earlier and was quickly put down BUT if living in your current home is adversely affecting your health (or that of your family), you CAN get medical evidence to make you more of a priority for rehousing. Does your Council operate a band system or does preference literally go to whoever's been on the list the longest, irrespective of circumstances?

If the Council were to accept that you have a medical need to be rehoused, you would still have a wait but it would make it a shorter one as you would be seen as a higher priority. I know several families who have done this, infact I know a family who have fabricated illnesses (which I in no way suggest you do) just to get moved . We have a band system here and basically due to the severe lack of homes available, you need to be a Band 1 to be allocated a house. Band 1 is homeless & severe medical need. Even in Band 1 you may be looking at a 6 month wait, however in Band 2 it is more like 3 years for a 3 bed house. Bands 3 & 4 and your only hope is a mutual exchange.

It will depend hugely on where you live, how long the wait might be though.

noisytoys · 27/03/2013 17:51

It depends on your area and how many houses there are. Round here pretty much everyone lives in flats (except for old empty nesters). I don't know anyone my age with children or without who lives in a house

expatinscotland · 27/03/2013 18:14

If you are in an area where you had to wait that long for even a flat, you can a) take your chances with homelessness in private rentals accepting that you may have to go through the homeless process again b) try to swap even if it means to an entirely new area or part of the UK c) wait for a house.

NettoSuperstar · 27/03/2013 18:19

I was homeless and in severe medical need, I waited 18 months.
It can take a while.
It was worth it for me, but it's still not a quick route.

NettoSuperstar · 27/03/2013 18:23

And even then I had to fight for it, they tried to give me nasty damp, too small (by their rules) flats, lied to me, lied some more and then lied.
You need to say the right things to the right people, problem is, you have to find out what they are.

MoodyDidIt · 27/03/2013 18:26

you would be MAD to give up your tenancy

just do a mutual exchange via homeswapper, i am currently in the middle of one

MNetBlackpoolLE · 27/03/2013 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cantspel · 27/03/2013 18:40

There is a thread running on here at the moment about the lack of landlords who will accepts dhss so even a grotty council estate has got to be better than nothing.

BumpingFuglies · 27/03/2013 18:43

OP, I really would hold out for a swap.

I have moved 7 times in 12 years, all private rentals. 5 out of 7 of those times, I have had to move because the landlord wanted the property back, including where I am now.

We have been very fortunate to be offered a council property, which is less than perfect. DSS's who are 8 and 5 have to share a bedroom 6ft by 7ft10. But it gets us in the system and I am beyond grateful that I will no longer live in fear of being moved on yet again.

Private rents will continue to rise and those who cannot afford to buy will be continually forced into this insecure way of living.

I do appreciate what you are saying though and that I haven't yet moved into the house and lived with the problems you are facing.

Lilicat1013 · 27/03/2013 18:49

I just wanted to express my sympathy. I am in a similar situation; I live in a third floor flat with no lift and have an autistic three year old and a newborn. I can?t get the pram to the flat so it is stored in the shed opposite are building meaning every time we leave the house it is four flights of stairs and four locked doors to get through, same again when we get home. I have to try and carry the baby down while supporting my son (he needs help on the stairs). I am epileptic as well which doesn?t help the situation.

We basically just stay home now unless my husband is home as it just isn?t possible to go out. Even if we could my son?s behaviour has deteriorated since the baby has been born and he is too difficult to cope with on my own.

On the plus side our flat is nice and we have nice neighbours so that is better. Bad neighbours can make life hell.

I would still advise you to hold on to your tenancy, speak to your doctor about how the situation is making your mental health problem worse and they might be able to write you a letter to support your application to move. We have medical and social priority points as my son?s paediatrician, key worker and Portage worker wrote in to say where we live isn?t safe for him.

WilsonFrickett · 27/03/2013 18:55

The real question is can you afford privately rented? If so, you pay your money and take your choice, don't you? If you can't afford it (or if you are on HB and can't find a LL to take you on) then your only choice is a houseswap.

The other thing is not to be blinkered if you are looking for a houseswap, for example there's a block of flats near me that doesn't look particularly family-friendly, but there's a lift, the rooms are big, and it's literally seconds from a park. You need to go and see places. Good luck.

expatinscotland · 27/03/2013 19:00

Severe medical need is going to trump you every time, just for warning. My child had a serious problem, cancer that could only be treated in one place, serious mobility problems associated with it and as we were housed, in the 8 months she was ill, we got offered FA.

Writing a letter is all well and good but truly, if you're in an area where it took you two years in temp housing to even get that, chances are, it's not going to do you much good.

AmberLeaf · 27/03/2013 19:01

Don't give up your secure council tenancy to go into a private let, I understand you feel bogged down by where you are now, but it is secure and that is so important.

Join Homeswapper, don't write it off, you really never know who may want to swap with you.

messybedhead · 27/03/2013 20:11

I know somebody who gave up a council tenancy in similar circumstances to you in order to privately rent a house with a garden.

She soon realised her mistake and 4 years later is back living in a flat on a dodgy estate- and is over the moon about it.

montage · 27/03/2013 20:19

I remember your threads on this last year OP

IIRC the reason you were so long in temporary accomodation was because you were waiting for/ bidding on houses but you were told you had to take the flat?

And that you could have privately rented but wanted the secure tenacy of a council tenancy after the stress and distress following losing the home you owned?

I would first take a proper look at all the benefit changes that are about to kick in and work out if private rental is a realistic option for you still as so much is due to change.

Then I would put the flat up for a swap but set a time limit in your head (It will make you feel less desperate). And as others have said do not dismiss any offers before checking them out.

A ground floor flat/ flat in another area/flat with a lift may make life easier for you.

Basically I would try to move past the black and white thinking that it has to be a house and look at any option that may improve your situation for now.

cumfy · 27/03/2013 20:33

With the new occupancy rules won't you have a good likelihood that someone with 2-3 DC will need to swap from a 4-bed ?

Original poster

SlowlyWakingUp · 27/03/2013 20:36

Thanks for all the replies and for the lack of flames . I know it's crazy but I can't stand it. Jumping off the balcony is tempting on some days although I won't. It just compounds the loss of the standard of living that we used to have.

I will put it on homeswapper but I will eat my hat (not that I've got one) if someone wants to swop with us. I have another year and bit until DC4 starts school (at just 4) and it seems a very looong time away and I have to hold the hope that our finances will be better then as hopefully I will have a job too (flying pigs fly past) and we could potentially try for buying a home under the HomeBuy scheme. Feel very defeated atm as you can tell .

OP posts:

DeepRedBetty · 27/03/2013 20:41

There may be a few four beds coming through due to Bedroom tax, but the vast majority will be 3s and 2s.

Sledgehammer to crack a nut, bloody bedroom tax.

DeepRedBetty · 27/03/2013 20:43

A year and a bit isn't really that long just feels like forever .

expatinscotland · 27/03/2013 21:25

I'd stick it out the year, tbh. We are in a 4-bed. It was allocated to us when we were 2 girls and 1 boy. We are not subject to bedroom tax because we don't claim HB, but there are 4 families here who do and NONE of them is leaving. This 'tax' is solving nothing IMO unless you have a 2 or 1 bed in a desirable locale.

DON'T give it up, though! NO WAY.

GalaxyDefender · 27/03/2013 22:48

Oh, how I feel your pain. People underestimate how awful living in an unsuitable home can be. It is soul-destroying.

Homeswapper is a joke unless you're in a city, and also, nobody wants upstairs flats. Understandably, because living in one is hideous, particularly if you have very young children and no green space or facilities nearby.
If you can afford private, OP, go for it. It's worth it for your sanity, if nothing else.

snowsjoke · 27/03/2013 23:03

If you give up your secure, council tenancy you will find it almost impossible to get back on the council's list if private tenancies don't work out as you will be deemed to be 'intentionally homeless'. As others have advised, try to stick it out for a home swap or wait on the list for a larger/better property. Things will feel slightly better once your youngest is at school - you can get out and about more and explore longer term options. Good luck.

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