regarding my daughter's first car?

[allo2101]

My daughter will be 17 in July. Her father, from whom I have been apart since she was two years old, has said he will pay for her first car. This is probably the first time he's offered to pay for anything substantial since we split up, ALL he gives me maintenance of £160 a month for my two teenage daughters. I have always paid for all school trips, holidays etc etc. But I appreciate his offer and I am very grateful - although I know I'll probably end up paying most of the insurance ....

Anyway, he asked my daughter what cars she likes (budget of around £1200). Her favourite is a Renault Clio. He said in no uncertain terms, "I'm not buying you that French crap, choose something else. I'll buy you anything but a Clio." (He isn't one for mincing his words) She then decided she liked two other types of car, Yaris and Corsa - and again he said, "No, they're crap, I think you should have ...." and named a couple of other cars which my daughter really doesn't like the look of. She said, "But you told me anything but a Clio and I've named two other cars." They have ended up having a huge row about this and it's really upset me.

I can see both points of view, he says he's buying her the car and she should grateful to get anything. She says that she doesn't want him to spend loads of money on a car she's not happy with. I'm stuck in the middle of all of this and I am really tempted to tell him to forget the whole thing and I'll buy the car myself, not that I can really afford to pay for that, the lessons and the insurance. She's trying desperately hard to get a part-time job to pay for the insurance herself but it's very hard to find anything much where we live.

AIBU?

Thanks for all your advice - I think the choice is going to be between a newer-shape Polo, if we can get one for the money, or a Yaris

It doesn't take ten months at all. All three of my sons have taken and passed their tests within six months of starting to drive.

I second a Polo - My L reg old shape one is still going strong with regular maintenance - My Saxo was crap! Tinny and the gears kept getting stuck!

He is getting her the car before she passes her test so that after she's had a few lessons she can go out with me or him in the car and have more practice. It does seem to be taking people longer to pass their tests since years ago but I do know of a few who have passed within six months.

allo I tried going out for a few lessons with my mum I found it confusing as the two cars were so different. I recently passed. I would advise upping her lessons to two a week instead and save yourself having to insure the car for a learner.

Why can't she get her practice in your car or in her dad's car? Is the insurnace even dearer? Why does she need her own for practice?

It took DS1 14 weeks, with 4 week out cause he had whooping cough, to pass his test first time with only 3 minors.

I would get her a Polo, but I would be very aware the insurance is going to be around the £2k mark!

Xpost with Crawling... my mother found the Cheapest Driver's Ed in the city (with a fat old racist, to boot). He only had enormous automatic for practice. We only had small stick shift (manual) at home, and in our system you took the test in your parents' car typically, not the instructors. I had to learn to drive both my parents' cars and the instructor's before my test. I passed, No biggy.

We took DS1 out in our Polo, we bought Learner Driver Insurance from Collingwood. We paid about £250 IIRC for 24 weeks because that was the cheapest way to do it, and we had no idea DS1 was going to be such a quick learner!

To me it sounds like, knowing you'll be paying for the insurance and repairs, he is deliberately picking the car which will cost you the most.

So you could have a word with her, explain that her dad can be hard work over stuff like this, but you learnt over the years to pick your battles. So suggest she confirms he will put whatever car he gets in her name - so let him buy whatever he wants. Then she can part-ex it for something she does want, or if she can't get what she wants for the same value, just sell it, put the money in savings and save towards what she really does want. Tell her the budget you are prepared to pay for insurance and tax, so she can do her own maths.

It's sad, but a lot of friends from divorced parents once they got to 16-17 started to see really why their parents split up, that no matter how nice their mums were about their dads, suddenly when they had to deal with their parent as a grown up, they started to see the truth.

He is right about the build quality of Clios and Corsas for sure and they are also boy racer cars very popular with..erm...a certain kind of young person the white lightning and baseball cap and orange faced brigade

I have heard very good things about the Yaris however.

Where I teach the kids often get VWs for their first cars and I would always go German myself for the build quality/reliability. Lupos are really cute,cheap to insure and run and they even do a yellow one if she is quite a 'girly' girl!

Has she considered the Aygo over the Yaris?
Would imagine the insurance would be even lower.

Re getting her a car. We will probably end up doing same as no way dd could learn to drive in dh's car due to insurance.

there is a lot more to cars than looks get your daughter to read this site,

she needs to go for low cost insurance, costs of parts, and service.

she should think carefully about committing to the running costs of vehicle, quite a burden, for the same money you could have an amazing four week holiday overseas at least, each year.

mine decided to go for travel as way of finding freedom, did their tests, then joined schemes like these, and hire cars for longer trips

don't forget to do passplus to reduce insurance costs, and up safety.

"Her father ... has said he will pay for her first car."

"This is probably the first time he's offered to pay for anything substantial since we split up, ALL he gives me maintenance of £160 a month for my two teenage daughters."

"...he asked my daughter what cars she likes..."

*"He said in no uncertain terms, "I'm not buying you that French crap, choose something else. I'll buy you anything but a Clio."

"No, they're crap, I think you should have ...." and named a couple of other cars which my daughter really doesn't like the look of."

If I was being cynical, this looks like he ultimately wants to avoid buying a car. He sounds like the hero for offering, never forks out a bean and then uses it as an argument in the future: "I offered to buy you a car but you couldn't pick one."

He's being an arse for giving her a choice, then shooting down whatever she chooses.