To crack open a bottle of fizz on a rare enforced afternoon off waiting for internet man?

[MadameDefarge]

Waiting in for six hours. ds 12 not due back till six. plently of freezer food if i cant be arsed to cook...does that make me a bad mother?

at unpestered fanjo

who says its unpestered? at leastt i dont have to sleep next to some snoring farting dh every night.

(loves smooth, high thread count cotton sheets, big bed and duvet for me, all me!)

exactly LaQ! if we dont have trashed fanjos we arent proper mothers...sorry loves...i did me exercises...

I thought mine was as tight as a very tight thing (only 1 C-section) till I tried to do a scissor kick to Bon Jovi at a party last week.

'Twas interesting....

Am totally tena-free in all other situations, except scissor kicking to glam rock. Who knew?

Oi. I am a "proper" mother.

I have 3 blasted children. One of them had a massive head.

My pelvic floor is amaaaazing. No tena lady here.

I can laugh and sneeze and everything.

I'm very proud of that.

Drink the fizz and bang Van Man! Enjoy yourself. Tuesday rarely yields fun so go for it.

no internet man. ds back but banished to own room with snacks and threats.

well exactly trantrums...a slack fanjo is not the sign of blessed madonnahood! and i had a hideous birth which needed reconstructive surgery (think tearing down AND up) but the old vagina was tip top. too tip top. one of the reasons birth was so traumatic...

I bet your Internet man will be pleased.

Nothing worse than a slack fanjo on the first date

Men...always letting you down.

YABU

It should be two

One for you, one for me

If we're moving onto gyno deficiencies, i have a friend who has a leaky back passage. She's already had her front entrance done. She wouldn't even think before opening that fizz.

carpe deum..or somesuch...

or diem? not much carping her sadly. internet man has gone awol...

Maybe he got lost, in which case give up hope now because they never ask for directions.

ooh wilson. that will teach ya. nothing more undignified than a mother trying to recapture passed times. tut. clutches pearls. tilts head.

Wilson - I have just made DS1 (aged 4) howl with laughter because I decided to try a scissor kick in the kitchen. He came in and caught me and thought it was the funniest thing ever

Did you drink your fizz OP?

Actually I saw an internet woman today. She was laying new cable to the BT boxes in our area. First woman I've ever seen doing that job.

too right. probably roamin east london as we speak. FFS! why do they ask for mobile numbers if they dont sodding call if lost/no answer? - live in flats. I told them the intercom was dodgy.

I think internet man is a mumsnetter & has fled the country at the thought of Madame's champagne & fanjo.

yes. fizz is going down nicely. ds hasnt called childline yet. in fact tearfully thanked me for thinking of him...i took two of his fave ready meals out to defrost so he had a choice. i like to feed him before he goes out on the chimney cleaning night shift.

I wish I had some fizz :(

in ternet man here!!!!