To crack open a bottle of fizz on a rare enforced afternoon off waiting for internet man?

[MadameDefarge]

Waiting in for six hours. ds 12 not due back till six. plently of freezer food if i cant be arsed to cook...does that make me a bad mother?

reminds me of that song about the Telephone Man. For heavens sake. Im a single parent. if i didnt indulge every now and then when in sole charge i would be a blinkin teetotaller! tis just a bit earlier for a change. I dont make him go out in his clogs to fetch a pint of gin from the tavern!

Fellatio - You may never have only had a woman turn up once, but I don't think you should be making assumptions.

(Unless 'internet man' is a euphemism & OP has a garden full of pampas grass.)

Oh forget assumptions, come on - get real. Some jobs are just always men. The same as others are always women.

It's about 1am somewhere in Australia.

god i would love a fit internet man to come and check my wires. please dont say its going to be a girl.

Stick to the vodka. Opening a bottle of fizzy wine is a known hazard whereby you could have your eye out. Unless of course the internet man turns up, and then you can ask him to help you open it safely.

A fit man would be nice...wouldn't have to fix the internet either afaic

thanks wilson and others! tis open and lush. also nibbling on smoked salmon. i feel very decadent and rather happy.

internet man might get a shockm ds will probably just cock a knowing eye and pop the coffee on. bless!

do you think he'll ask me where I want it? (ever hopeful!)

Madame it's bad enough that he has to turn u to your house and you've been drinking without him having to put up with your letching and smutty innuendo. This is not Confessions of a Window Cleaner you know. Poor bloke.

I had a tesco delivery woman once.

I was unimpressed. She dumped all the stuff outside her van and asked me to help her carry it up.
Which I did.

Which defeats half the point of bloody Internet shopping doesn't it?

I want it carried to my front door

oh lighten up fellatio...who are you..the gender police? or the sexual harassment police? ill have you know that i am everything an internet man on the prowl could wish for...fit gorgeous and gagging. and def up for a quickly as ds due home in a bit...!

Quite right. I'd have refused to help. You paid a fiver for that. Some jobs are just done better by men, and others by women.

god people are so bloody bourgeois these days!

Gagging? Eeew you sound lovely. I bet oyu like to think you're a MILF don't you. GILF more like. Granny Fanny.

I was too nice to refuse to help.

She looked like a strong wind would have blown her over.

Are you wearing something comfortable because if not you should be. Nothing worse than having a drink and being uncomfortable

ha ha! you are just jealous!

Fellatio

my pelvic floor is positivley virginal..it pings, I tell ya!

well thanks for that. bah. its bad enough being on mn with all the smug marrieds without someone being unpleasant about my single parent fanjo.

You have fizzy wine, smoked salmon and an unpestered fanjo. Sounds ok to me.