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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think family courts are a flaming joke!

208 replies

tryingtobeabetterperson · 25/03/2013 17:52

I have read so many posts on here, groups on FB and other forums of desperate women who have left abusive partners to protect their children just for the courts to award contact and the abuse continues because unless it becomes physical the courts seem loathe to make contact supervised.

I know all about children needing fathers but even abusive ones that will hurt them or screw them up emotionally??

/rant

OP posts:
deliciousdevilwoman · 28/03/2013 18:50

Indeed. And IME, the LA's are often reluctant to provide funding for supervised contact at contact centres, even when such resources are finite. Especially if the arrangement was likely to be long term. The same with transport and/or a professional to facilitate the 'handover'. There was often a reliance on extended family members to facilitate as an interim measure, despite the potential risk factors of such an arrangement.

This means that there is a loss of momentum in contact or that women (for it is mainly women) are pushed into situations where they have to come face to face with the abusive ex partner.

I have been out of practice for almost 2.5 years, but I would imagine little has changed.

tryingtobeabetterperson · 29/03/2013 00:20

Why aren't the courts and judges up in arms and putting pressure on the government? They are the ones with power and clout. You work in the system, what campaigning have you done?

The Rights of Women survey and report I linked to showed massive failures on the court system in protecting abused women. The courts are not getting it right as much as they should be

OP posts:
Spero · 29/03/2013 00:24

Rather more than you I would guess.

But carry on beating your drum if it makes you feel better.

IneedAsockamnesty · 29/03/2013 00:33

Trying who do you think most of the main consultants on the justice for all papers were?

If not people like spero?

Spero · 29/03/2013 11:11

The trouble is the gov probably can't do anything even if they wanted to. With essential services being cut there will be no appetite for setting up additional very expensive and labour intensive services.

I think the only hope is for volunteer agencies to try and fill the gaps, but they too are stretched to breaking point.

I accept the situation on the ground is far from perfect, but saying it is the fault of the courts or male judges with anti female agenda is just wrong and diverting useful energy away from real problem into tedious dead end of ideological posturing.

To continue with my very helpful weather analogy, its like putting the judge on the beach as the tsunami approaches and giving him a snorkel.

tryingtobeabetterperson · 29/03/2013 14:22

At least I am talking about it and caring about it Spero. And listening to everybody's experience. You dismiss anyone whose experience doesn't match with yours or who doesn't agree with you

So nothing is going to be done, whoever's fault it is, government's or the court system's, and children who should be being kept safe are not. So the courts are failing, whether they are to blame or not

OP posts:
Spero · 29/03/2013 14:27

I dismiss people who are wrong and I know to be wrong. That is how I benefit from my actual knowledge and experience, not just membership of Facebook groups.

I am sorry to be crabby. But not all opinions are worth the same.

It is good that you care. I wish more people did.

But caring is sod all use when energies are misdirected.

Spero · 29/03/2013 14:32

O and to those who claim the courts are ignorant about violence, can I just point out that the Ministry of Justice site links straight to the Women's Aid site when providing the definition of violence.

So while you may have legitimate complaints that the courts don't always consistently or effectively implement what they know, to assert out and out ignorance is just wrong.

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