To think if my baby falls over in nursery someone would comfort her

[WhatWouldCaitlinDo]

We are looking at nurseries for DD and my SIL criticised one of the nurseries we visited saying that the staff are only allowed touch the children if necessary, e.g. to feed them, change their nappy, etc. So if they fall over/hurt themselves the staff can't give them a cuddle.

I'm a bit new to all of this as DD is only 8 months - is this normal? Is my SIL exaggerating? I am going back to work so DD has to go to nursery and we have seen two nice ones where the staff seem lovely and which we are happy with. Her comment was a bit of a surprise and has made me feel bad about leaving DD.

Your SIL is exaggerating I expect.

Ask the nursery.

What is her experience with this nursery?

IF that is true I wouldn't even consider it but I do wonder if there is some exaggeration in what she is saying. Perhaps ask them when you visits?

She is being odd - our nursery staff are always cuddling the children. It is even commented on in the ofsted report. Now mine can talk
He tells me that he fell over but xxxx cuddled him and he was ok.

Sounds odd if that really is their policy - what does your sil know about it? Both of mine were at nursery and loved the cuddles whether they were hurt or not...

Why not ask them? I'm sure they do comfort. Even in school we comfort children if they are distressed. It's not forbidden...but there are rules on how to keep yourself free from any possible complaints. I and my colleagues have many children who will come to us for a hug.

She did part time work there a few years ago. She was only 19 at the time.

They cuddle the children at my son's nursery, it often says in his notes he has had cuddles if he has been unsettled.

They have a little one in at the moment, only ten months old (children are a mixture of ages as it is a special needs nursery) and he is always been cuddled by someone, when I was last in he was sat cuddled on a staff members lap on the floor while she was playing a game with some of other children.

It's lovely, it would be horrible if they couldn't be affectionate with the children.

I often see the staff at DS's nursery cuddling the children when I'm dropping him off / picking him up. Especially with children who are upset for whatever reason.

I'd be surprised if the staff really aren't allowed to cuddle an upset child. I'd ask the nursery about this directly.

Policy may have changed since then.
I worked for a very big chain several years ago and when I left they had just brought in a policy of not cuddling children and having children sit on a cushion on their knee instead of directly on their lap.
It was a mis-interpration of safeguarding proceedures and has since been changed.
Don't rely on second-hand information that may be out of date.
Ask the nursery directly.
FWIW, in my setting if a child falls over, cuddles is often all we adminster and document this on the accident form as 'TLC and cuddles'

Check with the nursery - DS gets cuddles at his if he's upset over anything, and I wouldn't want him going to a nursery where they were scared to touch him.

They would be failing in their duty of care if they didn't give cuddles if a child is hurt or not in that age range. The eyfs covers this, children need to learn to build positive relationships with the adults caring for them. Cuddling would be a huge part of that.
As someone else has said on any accident forms I complete cuddles are recorded as treatment and were actually covered in my last paediatric first-aid course. Naturally it's one of the first things adults do when they help a child who has fallen over. I certainly couldn't leave a child who'd fallen over to comfort themselves.
At times my nursery has implemented cuddling policies for certain children to meet their needs. Policies were always discussed with parents of each child and if it was a none cuddling action everyone clearly knew why and when this happened. I.E. X isn't to be cuddled when they first get up from a sleep as they will become very distressed when it's time to move on. X will be taken to the bathroom, have face washed and drink and snack in the kitchen after a nap, adult to jolly them along.
Students would be asked not to cuddle children unless they are in the baby room or a child comes to them for a cuddle. Students tend to just sit a cuddle children if not. Maybe your sil was like this a the nursery, I know people who've been told we don't cuddle because all they did was sit with a child on their lap all day! Does your sil still work with very young children? The people I'm think off don't anymore.

Don't be ridiculous. I was a cm for years and cuddled away. There are safeguarding rules of course but this isn't one if them.

Your sil is a twat.

Sounds like your sister has got the wrong end of the stick or is out of date with hearing about nurseries getting the wrong end of the safeguarding stick.

From a safeguarding POV, not to cuddle children of this age would be detrimental to their emotional wellbeing.

Aaaah! I love the idea of an accident report that says " miniherrena fell over at 17.20 due to tripping over her own feet. Tlc and cuddles were administered and its all better now"

Our nursery certainly cuddles the kids - I have had to sign an accident form saying that dd hurt herself and the treatment was lots of cuddles!
They also tell me verbally if she's been upset for any reason other than hurting herself (like the day she rushed off in there without saying goodbye so I left and it turned out she'd been sprinting to get something to show me) - she was distraught when she realised I'd gone and the nursery said "We had to have lots of cuddles first thing" as soon as I walked in the door. DD is now four, and about to have her last session at that nursery as she moves across to the school nursery. She's been really happy there and I think the freedom with which affection, physical and verbal, is handed out, is a big part of that.
I'd query directly with the nursery. If they don't cuddle then look elsewhere. But check the information first.

Most definately allowed at our nursery. When DD was teething they used to have a floating member of staff who would be used where she was needed most and one of her main jobs was to cuddle teething babies who needed tthe extra attension!

Last week I decided to pick her up early to go somewhere, and as I peeked throughh the window I could see all the other 2 yo toddlers gathered on the floor around someone clearly telling a story with her back to the window. I hurried in wondering where DD was, and she was lying sprawled out on top of the nursery nurse, arms behind her head, the absolute picture of contentment.

I'd second the advice to ask each nursery directly.

And yes to the poster who said maybe it's because as a work experience student, they might have told her not to cuddle the kids because otherwise she didn't do anything else!
We have had similar in my old place of work, where we have stopped particular students from doing something not because we have a policy against it but because that student then doesn't do anything else (I worked with animals so we also had students come in with ideas about what they wanted to do - cute stuff mainly and none of the drudgery associated with it).

I work with year 5 and most of the girls still want a hug if they have fallen over or fallen out with their friends. I've become adept at a sideways hug. I can't think of a single one of my parents that would object either if at the end of the day they were told that their child was crying so a quick bit of TLC had fixed things.
I'm sure the nursery would be comforting crying little ones!

They get cuddles and kisses on the cheek at the dc's nursery .

I'd run a mile from anywhere that wasn't hands on with young children.

We signed a form to agree to the Dc being cuddled, at nursery then at primary in a different town so I assumed this was normal.

Smashing, this is all really helpful. I have a few follow on Qs after our visit and this is top of my list.

Have you visited? Go and visit and spend more than 5 minutes there, and I guarantee you will see what they do when a child gets upset!