Aibu to think it is impossible to follow current bf advice

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I formula fed my first 2 and always put them in their own cot from day 1. With all that baby expertise? I decided I would always put my 3rd breast fed baby back into his cot after feeds like I had done before. however ds did not sleep for prolonged times at night between feeds and after a decent stint of good sleeping he had a sleep regression. I came to the realisation I either needed to give up best practice and formula feed or else give up best practise and keep him in the bed or maybe give him solids early against best practise. So my question is are women able to exclusively breast feed for 6 months and never bring the baby into their bed and if so is it at the expensive of their own well being. I think it is unreasonable to give advice that is totally impossible to put into practice but maybe I am unreasonable. By the way ds is still coming into our bed from his cot once he wakes up for a feed in the night at 15 months so that was the shortcut I chose.

Stuff any advice. Do what gets you enough sleep to function.

Bf/ff in your bed/in cot. Great scheme of life it doesn't matter a jot.

Go for sleep.

Of course it's perfectly possible to BF and put a baby to sleep in their own cot.

FF doesn't improve sleep. Solids don't improve sleep. Sleep regressions are normal.

Babies are NOT meant to sleep for 'prolonged times at night between feeds' - they need milk frequently! If they wake up, that's because they're supposed to.

I breastfed for over a year, he never slept in our bed, the one time I fell asleep feeding him he rolled out of bed and became wedged between our bed and the bedside table, thankfully landing on a pile of towels

Perhaps the difference is more down to personality than breast feeding/formula.

I exclusively bf both of mine for the first 6 months and introduced some solids at 4 months (that was the advice then) and first child slept throught the night at 3 weeks old. Did the same with second child and they were not as good at sleeping.

Perhaps I will make way now for someone younger who does things the way they are done now. Would probably be more help to you.

YABU. Ds is ebf always goes straight back down into his cot and usually wakes 3-4 hourly. Sometimes it 2 sometimes it's 6 or 7. Either way I usually manage seven hours of broken sleep which I'm happy with. He's 17 weeks tomorrow and I'm going to keep ebf until he's six months. It just depends on the baby.

It's not abnormal for babies to wake frequently in the night until they are two, or older.

Neither baby slept in our bed and had their own moses basket/cot.

YABU. Of course it is possible.

Sleep regressions are normal. They pass.

And co-sleeping is fine as long as it's done safely.

As someone who exclusively bf-ed dc1 and hope to do so wtih dc2, I'm sympathetic about info re bf-ing that just doesn't seem to address the reality of it. Which is dispiriting and makes women more likely to give up.

fwiw - a bedside cot is a good way to keep a bf baby within easy reach. iirc, the 'best practice' advice of the time (uk, 3 years ago) was to keep baby in a cot in the same room as you for the first few months anyway, to minimise cot death risk. So may as well be beside the bed!

After that - individual circumstances vary so much (other children, work circumstances etc) that I think parents have to make a decision about what works best for them. We got most sleep from co-sleeping, but that's just us.

I still feel resentful about bf literature from the nhs telling me my baby might feed 'as often as every 2 hours' in the early days. No bf baby I knew went that long between feeds in the early days. Anyone trying to put that crap past me this time is going to get short shrift I'm afraid.

I breastfed for 14 months and never gave formula (ds remained a steadfast bottle refuser!). I introduced solids just before six months - about a week early. He always slept in his own cot; I was too nervous to co-sleep. He was, and still is, what I'd call an average sleeper. So for me it was perfectly possible to follow those guidelines without compromising my wellbeing. Who knows what will work with any future babies I might have? I think it varies from child to child.

"best practice" is not actually to avoid bed sharing. It is now becoming clear that for non-smoking parents with a breastfeeding mother (with other provisos such as setting up the bed safely for bed sharing, avoiding drugs and alcohol) bringing a baby into bed (or having a side along cot) actually helps to reduce the risk of SIDS. Breastfeeding mothers lie in a protective way with their infants generally as well. There is a huge ongoing study in Bradford looking at the differences between the ethnic community (more commonly alcohol and smoke free, breastfeeding and bed sharing) and the white British community (less commonly smoke free, more likely to drink alcohol, more likely to formula feed and separate sleep). The ethnic community's risk of SIDS is significantly lower and this is put down to a combination of these factors.

Check out isisonline.org.uk for more information to help you make the decision that is right for you.

Incidentally, many stats on babies dying asleep with their parents were totally skewed by factors such as including babies who died when their parents fell asleep on the sofa with them (ironically trying to avoid bed sharing) and babies got trapped in the cushions, or one study looked at SIDS deaths and counted babies who had died in their cots but had spent some time in their parents' bed as bed sharing deaths which really makes no sense. But these studies were used to make the older recommendations on not bed sharing.

The new research is with UNICEF and other trustworthy organisations.

In the end you need to work out what feels right for you, but understanding why guidance was one thing and what the evidence is now saying can be reassuring if you do want to consider carrying on bedsharing.

Here are some useful links.

neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/

www.uppitysciencechick.com/MorganGroerSmithSafeSleepJOGNNNov06.pdf

Also "Three in a Bed" by Deborah Jackson is a brilliant book about how to safely bed share and what benefits it has to you, and to your child's attachment and development.

Depends on the baby. My first was a shit sleeper and we took to co-sleeping for sanity (later we had to stop co-sleeping also for my sanity as he had an all night milk buffet). My 8 week old, without me doing anything different is a very sleepy baby and already does 4-5 hour stretches at night (and one glorious 8 hour stretch). No need to co-sleep with her so far!

Well, yes it is possible, because the guidelines aren't "breastfeed exclusively for 6 months and never take the baby into your bed", they are:

No cow's milk before 1 year
Introduce solids around 6 months but no earlier than 4 months
Don't co sleep if you smoke, drink, are on medication, using a duvet, or on a sofa.

Perfectly easy IMO.

Yes, it is possible. Both dd's would sleep in their cots most of the time and exclusively bf until almost 6 months. i did co sleep sometimes particularly if they were unwell/teething etc. the cot was by the bedside so I could reach out and touch them if they needed it. Co slept with dd2 more as she has reflux I was quicker at catching the vomit when she was in bed with us as could sit her up quicker.

I thought it was normal for babies to cluster feed. Plus they go through growth spurts and feed and feed, then it calms down again. Co-sleeping is not a SIDS risk as someone else said as long as its done correctly.

I don't see what this OP has to do with breastfeeding. Different baby, different sleeper.

I typed another post it seems to have vanished. I should have clarified I am not in the UK. Advice here is exclusive breastfeeding to 6 months. No co sleeping due to SIDs advice here. So aibu? is it impossible to follow best practice here? Apparently not some definitely have managed it but while I really admire women who were able to manage getting up 6-7 times a night for months I definitely would not have managed and I am back to work now and I definitely would not be able to manage it now.

All babies are different, and all mums are different, it's what ever works for you. Sadly ebf only worked for us for 11wks, but that was due to his day time feeding, night time was never a problem he would sleep in his cot for 5hr stretches. And now he is ff I think it has only improved as he is more settled during the day.

I don't see what this OP has to do with breastfeeding. Different baby, different sleeper.

Breast milk is easier to digest so they wake up more frequently or at least that was my experience.

It is easier to digest. That doesn't mean all breastfed babies will wake more often. Formula feeding is not a guarantee of more sleep. I know plenty FF babies who never slept!

So is this really about whether ff babies sleep better than bf babies?

I think many/most breastfeeding mothers probably do bring their babies into bed with them, and this is quite safe if you follow the guidelines.

Formula feeding doesn't guarantee your baby will sleep longer.

Is there not a BF topic on Mumsnet?

organiccarrotcake is right. FSID advice against co-sleeping but they are arguably overcautious. People who smoke should never co-sleep, and you should never co-sleep if you've been drinking. But you can co-sleep safely provided you follow the guidelines, so e.g. not putting the baby under a duvet. Bf mothers tend to be very attuned to the movements of their co-sleeping baby.

Ds was ebf to 6 months and slept at night for 5 hour chunks from about 6 weeks. Depends on the baby I think.

My breastfed baby was sleeping 8 hours a night by 2 months. Actually he slept worse when he was mix fed