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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD8 just seen pack of cigs in my bag. never wanted her to find out i smoked

70 replies

ajuba · 23/03/2013 21:51

This is bad. what can I say? there's no way i am going to admit to it. Yes, I know i should have been more careful. Please help!

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 23/03/2013 22:07

My DP sometimes gets a lift home with a guy who smokes. I know instantly whether he did on not from the stink when he comes in. And that's just from sitting in a smoker's car for ten minutes.

OHforDUCKScake · 23/03/2013 22:07

When ex and I have a baby he's really careful when he comes in from smoking. He wears a certain coat, scrubs his hands and brushes his teeth, and still when he came into the room he stank of smoke. And that's smoking rollies, its a lot worse with straights if thats what you smoke.

A smoker cannot smell the very very strong, lingering smell afterwards.

What answer have you given her?

wisemanscamel · 23/03/2013 22:08

Don't lie to her. It's a pathetic thing to do and she will start to feel as if she is going crazy, knowing that she can smell something but that you say she can't.

Just tell her you smoke and take responsibility for it, or stop. It's not her job to make you feel better about your habit.

exoticfruits · 23/03/2013 22:11

It is hardly a secret- you probably don't realise that it smells- you don't have to see the packet. Breath, hair, clothes stink to a none smoker.

ihategeorgeosborne · 23/03/2013 22:12

I stopped smoking, partly because the dc hated it and the obvious other reasons. I never smoked in the house obviously or in front of them, but they knew I smoked. They hated it. My oldest dd used to ask me if I wanted to die. It was really awful. I have to admit that I've been a bit of a fool and started smoking the odd roly again. I really hate myself for lying to them. Not sure if they know because I do it once they're in bed. I do hate it though and feel bad. Must stop again, for good this time. It's just sooooooooo hard!

ReluctantBeing · 23/03/2013 22:13

Use this as a wake up call and give up.

Original poster
ajuba · 23/03/2013 22:14

I think I will try to give up actually. This is a wake up call. Even if I lie now, at some point in the future she will know I have lied to her. She will put two and two together, linking the smell and the cig packet. I won't feel as bad admitting to her when she's older that I did smoke for a while but gave it up. But I just can't bring myself to admit it now. That right now I am a smoker.

OP posts:
Snazzynewyear · 23/03/2013 22:16

Yes, use this as the motivation to give up once and for all. Remind yourself of that sinking feeling when you realised she had seen the packet. If you give up now she will not think nearly so much of it. Good luck

olgaga · 23/03/2013 22:16

There is absolutely no way you can hide the smell, no matter what you do.

I'm an ex-smoker, 3 years now. I'm still astonished at the strength of the smell - it's quite noticeable even if you just walk past someone in the supermarket.

I gave up because I got sick and tired of skulking around. I managed to do it before my DD realised, and I'm so pleased I did. They do scare the wits out of children with their anti-smoking message at school. DD came home one day and asked me if I had ever smoked, and I was able to answer her quite truthfully that yes, I had in the past, in the days when almost everyone did.

She told me that her teacher had said "If you smoke you'll die".

If you find it impossible to give up, why not give ecigs a try?

Quite honestly I don't know how anyone can afford to smoke any more - but then I remember saying I would give up if fags went up to £1 a pack - and sadly it took me another 2 decades Grin

Original poster
ajuba · 23/03/2013 22:20

I am throwing them away. now.

OP posts:
Fleecyslippers · 23/03/2013 22:21

Use the fact that you are ashamed of your little girl knowing that you are a smoker as motivation to give up. And every time you falter, picture her little face when she gets news that you are dying from a smoking related disease. You CAN do this!!!!!

ihategeorgeosborne · 23/03/2013 22:21

Good time of year to stop now, as it's so bloody cold outside Grin

Fleecyslippers · 23/03/2013 22:21

Go OP Grin

Bluestocking · 23/03/2013 22:22

Good on you, ajuba!

Maryz · 23/03/2013 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallyingforth · 23/03/2013 22:26

WELL DONE AJUBA!

CandyCrushed · 23/03/2013 22:26

Thanks. Respect OP Grin

You should tell her.

traintracks · 23/03/2013 22:26

My mum thought she smoked without me knowing. Kids always know. All smokers smell of smoke.

OHforDUCKScake · 23/03/2013 22:31

Whoop!!!

ENSMUM · 23/03/2013 22:32

Well done. I am sure if you tell your DD the truth (either now or in the future) she will be proud of you for giving up

Traceymac2 · 23/03/2013 22:37

You can't hide the fact you smoke, I remember trying as a teenager but my parents only had to sniff the air around me to know that I was. As a non smoker the smell of smoke is over-powering. Perhaps she might be too young to be able to identify the smell. Sounds like a great incentive to give up before she can.

DeepRedBetty · 23/03/2013 22:37

Better to tell truth. At 8 she's old enough to have the conversation, the really massive one, that lets on that Mummy (and Daddy too if relevant) aren't perfect. I had this at about 9 ish.

KirstyJC · 23/03/2013 22:40

She already knows, trust me. You can smell a smoker a mile off.

exoticfruits · 23/03/2013 22:41

It amuses me that smokers don't know that everyone knows. Can they truly not smell it themselves?

nightowlmostly · 23/03/2013 22:42

defineme the opposite may work as well. My mum had smoked before I was born and we always knew. I did start when I was 14, but the knowledge that she could give up really helped me to quit when the time came.