So, MIL has told DH that an amniocentesis is "Basically like an abortion...

[AllYoursBabooshka]

Where they drain half the amniotic fluid from around the baby"

She's a nurse!

I may need one and she has said I shouldn't have it.

DH momentarily shit himself, well until common sense kicked in.

AIBU to have no idea what to say to her? Things between us are already strained right now and I just can't believe she has told DH this knowing how worried he already is.

Wtf? :(

[Bunbaker]

"There is a blood test which can give diagnostic information rather than a risk measurement, but it isn't widely available yet."

Oh, I haven't heard of this. DD is nearly 13 and it wasn't around then. That sounds like a great medical advance.

[AllYoursBabooshka]

Basically the situation is we went for the 20 week scan (I was actually 21 weeks) and the Sonographer picked up that the skin on the back of our little ones neck is thicker than it should be at this point.

The maximum on average at this point is 6mm and our babies measured 7mm. The Sonographer was lovely and told us it could be as simple as the position he was in but we would have to have a chat with the doctor.

The doctor has referred us to the department of fecal medicine for a better scan and said they may suggest an amnio. He didn't want to worry us but didn't want me to get a shock if it was suggested either. It was all very positive.

When we got home we both chatted about things and were obviously worried but trying to reassure each other, as you do but we were OK.

We had promised to let our parents know if we had found out the sex so me and DS1 headed up to my parents and DH rang his mum and told her everything, he said he kept everything on a positive note but was actually looking a little hand holding too, it's his Mum and he kinda just wanted her to tell him everything would be alright.

As soon as she heard the word amnio went off at him about how I shouldn't have it and her exact words were

"MrBabs you do know that this is basically like an abortion where they will drain half of the amniotic fluid from around the baby and test it, Babs shouldn't have one, She's not having one is she?"

DH was shocked and said "No, I didn't know that. We won't be having that done" He said the words just popped out as he was, understandably a little taken aback so I won't kill him for it. :o He knows that's not true but was a little pale and flustered when I got back.

I am just seething that the one time he needs her she acts like this, trying to worry and upset him needlessly and for her complete insensitivity towards me and the situation, we know nothing at the moment so why go there? As I said, things are already strained between us due to other things.

The appointment is tomorrow and we will find out a lot more so fingers crossed.

[Lovelygoldboots]

One step at a time babooshka. See what the doc says. I hope everything goes well. But if your doc offers you amnio and you feel you would like the certainty of a clear answer that an amnio gives then take it. There is nothing to feel bad or guilty about.

[EldritchCleavage]

Unless it was just a shock reaction, I would keep your MIL at a bit of a distance until you've got through this, as she doesn't sound very rational or very supportive.

Good luck with the further tests and with whatever you decide to do.

[Montybojangles]

I hope your appointment went well today.