to have told SIL not to come here

[AnameIcouldnotthinkof]

It is snowing here. It has been since Thursday night. It has slowed down now but it is still falling.
SIL called yesterday and asked if she could bring her DCs to our so everyone could play in the snow together. She would have driven uto ours as she lives half an hour away.
The roads by us have not been cleared and even though we had cleared the drive my DH could not get the car through to any main roads because the snow was just too deep. So I said it probably wouldn't be a good idea. She said fine and she would see how it was tomorrow.

Today the snow is up to my front windows. The drive which we cleared yesterday has now got another 6 inches of snow on it. SIL called again and asked if she could bring her DCs over. I said there was more snow here than there was yesterday so it still wasn't a very good idea.
She started shouting saying that we were being mean because she needed us wanted us to care for her DCs so that she could go to work. She also said that we had spoilt the holidays for her DCs because she had already told them that they were coming here. She then called PILs and told them that we were being unfair etc. PIL live 5 minutes away from us and so they told her that it was not practical for her to come here.

She has posted on DHs facebook saying that she will never speak to any of us ever again. I am almost tempted to tell her to come up and see how far she gets.
So AIBU to tell her to stay put. I would be happy to look after her DCs otherwise but it is nowhere near safe to travel.

YANBU, she sounds deranged.

my first reaction to your op is that she sounds desperate, is she really struggling with the dc? I could however have read it wrong.

What kind of an idiot is she?

Apart from that, she's bloody rude. I hope your DH put her straight on Facebook.

On top of that 'can we come over so the kids can play together in the snow' is not the same as 'I'm dumping my kids on you without even asking' then she's stropping about it. Jesus wept.

You can only pray she keeps her promise not to talk to you again

So she didn't want to bring them to play, she wanted to bring them so you can look after them but without having asked first?

Sounds like she has overreacted massively.

She sounds a bit thick and tantrummy to me. Is it your DH's sister? What does he say? And why is she dressing up a childcare request as a day of play?

YANBU, but I would probably tell her to come on over in the circumstances with the caveat that if she gets stuck you can't get out to help her.

Did she ask you to look after them whilst she worked or was she just using the play date as an excuse?

Personally I wouldn't waste my energy on it as I'm sure she will soon be back asking for help.....

after that reaction i would tell her to try... then laugh when she got stuck!

does she not realise that by saying no because its not safe is actually a good thing?

You KNOW YANBU.

But, playing devils advocate here:-

How is she usually? Such a overtly ridiculous reaction strikes me as odd. Is she struggling? Does she need a break?

She is my DHs sister. He is annoyed with her because she is kicking up a fuss over nothing.

She doesn't usually struggled with her DCs. They are very good kids and they can entertain themselves very well. Though maybe they are over-excited because of the snow and starting the holidays early.

Whoops - only now reading others responses. Agree with ditavonteesed.

YANBU, she sounds like a brat.
Tell your oh not respond to her message on fb. Ignore her until she apologises.

She did not ask me to look after them while she worked. She asked if they could come and play. She only said that she wanted childcare when I said no today.

She is a cock. A complete and utter cock.

I'd be glad she wasn't speaking to me tbh.

Would save me telling her she's a cock.

Is she bringing the kids round to play or wanting you to babysit? I can't work out which, she's being unreasonable regardless of whichever it is though.

Also, how deep is your snow? Or how low are your livingroom windows?

Perhaps your DH could post some photos to Facebook so your SIL could see how deep the snow is?

X-post now she's even more unreasonable for not even asking you if you could babysit!

If they're good nice kids I suspect she's normally a reasonable person. Is she?
If she is I would be quite worried about her reaction and what's caused it.
I know she's being unreasonable but could there also be more going on?

She's being a dick! We have lots of snow here too and theres been several crashes and abandoned cars. You did the right thing saying no for her & DC's safety

I think she was planning on bringing the DCs here and then asking for childcare.

The snow is about 2 foot up but it has drifted in the wind so it is up to 3 foot in places.

I'm in the "tell her she's welcome to try but don't expect any sympathy when she gets stuck" camp here.

There'd be scope for huge amounts of extra drama if she got stuck, though.

She actually thinks that her DCs chance to play in the snow is more important than the possibility of them being killed in a car accident or getting stuck somewhere!

She sounds like a right nut case!

I wouldn't tell her to try to drive, that's putting the children at risk of being stuck with her.

Ignore her strop and don't pander to her.