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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have told SIL not to come here

39 replies

AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 23/03/2013 13:23

It is snowing here. It has been since Thursday night. It has slowed down now but it is still falling.
SIL called yesterday and asked if she could bring her DCs to our so everyone could play in the snow together. She would have driven uto ours as she lives half an hour away.
The roads by us have not been cleared and even though we had cleared the drive my DH could not get the car through to any main roads because the snow was just too deep. So I said it probably wouldn't be a good idea. She said fine and she would see how it was tomorrow.

Today the snow is up to my front windows. The drive which we cleared yesterday has now got another 6 inches of snow on it. SIL called again and asked if she could bring her DCs over. I said there was more snow here than there was yesterday so it still wasn't a very good idea.
She started shouting saying that we were being mean because she needed us wanted us to care for her DCs so that she could go to work. She also said that we had spoilt the holidays for her DCs because she had already told them that they were coming here. She then called PILs and told them that we were being unfair etc. PIL live 5 minutes away from us and so they told her that it was not practical for her to come here.

She has posted on DHs facebook saying that she will never speak to any of us ever again. I am almost tempted to tell her to come up and see how far she gets.
So AIBU to tell her to stay put. I would be happy to look after her DCs otherwise but it is nowhere near safe to travel.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 23/03/2013 14:10

yep, I'd get him to reply on facebook (nice and public, she started it) "it's nearly 3 foot of snow here right now. You're welcome to try to get here, but there's no way you'll actually get to our house unless you've got a team of huskies I don't know about. Good luck, don't say I (and mum and dad) didn't warn you when you get stuck."

letseatgrandma · 23/03/2013 14:14

Does she normally rely on you for childcare?

She sounds rather unhinged tbh.

TheChaoGoesMu · 23/03/2013 14:16

She sounds a bit desperate. Bit silly for her not to just ask you to care for dc. Does she feel embarrassed to ask? Theres obviously a deeper problem going on. I'd ask her what it is.

clam · 23/03/2013 14:30

So what was she planning on doing for childcare if it hadn't been snowing? She would still have been working today, presumably.

I'd be saying no, not just because of the snow conditions, but because she's been rude, both in lying to you by pretending this was a playdate and then intending to up-grade to childcare, but also by stropping off about it publicly on FB (or stropping at all, frankly).

YANBU.

pedrohedges · 23/03/2013 14:32

Tell her to sod off! You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
If you don't want your sil to visit then you don't have to. Don't post pictures on facebook of the snow. You DON'T have to explain yourself to anyone.
Nevermind that she has nobody to look after her children, they're her responsibility, not yours.

clam · 23/03/2013 14:36

If you tell her to try to get to yours (thinking she won't make it), but then she does (or worse, makes it nearly there and then asks you to walk to collect her kids as she nips off in the other direction to work), then you're likely to be lumbered with her kids overnight or for as long as it takes her to make itback through the snow to collect them.

I wouldn't do it on principle, I'm afraid.

Mia4 · 23/03/2013 14:48

She sounds like an idiot tbh, more concerned about you free babysitting for her then the safety of her children. I'd ignore her but post a bunch of 'snow' pictures which show exactly what it's like. Even the biggest ignorant twat would balk at agreeing with her if they saw that much snow.

thezebrawearspurple · 23/03/2013 14:54

Send her a message back telling her that you are not her unpaid childminder and she is unwelcome anywhere near your family until she sorts herself out, loses the crazy, learns some manners and apologises. Then block her on fb, block her number from your phone and refuse anything to do with her until she apologises.

Don't explain, justify or pay any attention to her. Let her perform her crazy in front of the mirror, don't be her audience.

expatinscotland · 23/03/2013 14:58

YANBU! Do not allow this. It is very dangerous out there.

Original poster
AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 23/03/2013 15:03

She does ask me for childcare sometimes though she mainly relies on the PIL to do it.
I don't know where her DCs would of gone had it not been snowing.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 23/03/2013 15:10

She has been known to get upset and react when she doesn't get her own way sometimes but usually she is pretty normal. Though DH has just told me that once she refused to have anything to do with one of her best friends because her friend didn't ask her if her DC (then age 6 months) would be part of the wedding. Hmm
However her DCs are very well-behaved and they all have glowing reports from school.

OP posts:
cjel · 23/03/2013 19:59

I would do nothing and wait for her to calm down YANBU.Feel sorry or her DCs if she told them they were having lovely day in snow playing with cousins though.

FakePlasticLobsters · 23/03/2013 20:22

The snow is up to your windows? Where do you live OP? I'm not sure if I'm appalled or jealous. DS wanted to make a snow tyrannosaurus rex but our pathetic bit of snow isn't up to the job.

Oh, and YANBU.

clam · 25/03/2013 18:26

Any update? Did SIL turn up after all? Is she still speaking to you?

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