Siblings are aggressively trying to get me out of my late fathers house despite his written Will for me to stay

[Tryingtosurvive]

I am a disabled mum with two children under 10 years old and have recently spit up from my partner of 20 years - that was traumatic. My only place of refuge is the house which my late father left to all of us (tenants in common). I moved back into the house a few months ago with my children explaining to my siblings that my relationship had broken down and I had no where else to live except this house.

Now two of my siblings have put me under immense pressure to put the house up for sale despite my father putting a specific clause in his Will which says to the effect that my siblings shall allow me to live in the house for as long as I want to and that the house shall not exercise any trust for the sale of the property without my written consent. My father also said that if cease to reside in the house (other than through temporary absence) then the property can be sold.

Everyone else in my family has regular work/income and a secure place to live. I am self employed and work is very difficult to secure the moment though I am not claiming benefits yet. When my father died we (siblings) allowed one of my aggressive siblings to live in this house, rent-free for four years when she became divorced until she decided she was ready to buy a property abroad. She is furious with me because she has put money into her foreign property expecting the sale of this house to go ahead, but never discussed any of this with me.

There has been a lot of nasty conversations and bickering, and one sibling even trying to get the others to side with her to force the sale of the house if I don't put it on the market by the end of the month. She has threatened me with grave consequenses if I don't do what she wants.

This is an extremely stressful time for me and as a result am suffering depression and other signs of stress whic is taking a toll on my health and my business.

Does anyone have any suggestions what I could do to live securely as my father's Will intended until I'm in a position to buy out the main aggressive sister? I'm short on cash at the moment. The same sister has said that if I intend to buy her out now when the property market is low and then sell the house at a profit when/if the market picks up I have another thing coming.

I imagine that the father included the clause about the OP having the right to reside in the house as long as she needed it in part because of her disability? And perhaps because he wanted to safeguard her from the acquisitiveness of her siblings, worrying that they wouldn't look after her if she needed it.

1. We don't know what the disability is though do we? There is a very wide range after all. Both of my parents are disabled (blind) and they would be disgusted at the thought of having to be looked after.

2. Do we know that the siblings have been acquisitive? They may just be frustrated at the "tempory" non residence. For all we know they may be in as much need as the OP.

I agree you should do nothing without seeing a solicitor.

But morally, it seems to me that when your father made the will, his intention was that if you were living there at the time of his death, he wouldn't want you to be kicked out when he died.

Whether the exact wording means that you retained the right to move in after a number of years and not get kicked out is something you need a solicitor to advise you on. But it's not just about whether technically you can argue this that or the other, it's also about relationships.

Is the clause just for the OP though, or is it a more general "if any of the siblings are living in the house" clause?

I just don't think there's anything like enough info to make a proper judgement.

I see this sort of situation day in and day out. To be honest it is difficult to separate the moral and legal issues in a complex family situation.

People may not like it but the question here is a legal one. It is not a moral one. Depending on what the Will actually says will determine the OP's rights under the terms of any Will.

Parents quite often do not appreciate the ramifications of their decisions for the family when they make their Wills, which is why we advise clients to review their Wills either every five years (If they are over 60 years of age) or alternatively if there are problems in the family, for example tensions between siblings, divorces, addictions, bankruptcies, etc.

Huge I agree that what the OPs rights are is definitely a legal question not a moral one. But that doesn't mean there isn't a moral question as well. Doing what is technically allowed legally isn't necessarily the right thing to do where there are delicate family relationships in the balance.

Reading between the lines it looks like the rest of the family were waiting for the other sister to move out, then OP pops up and they're facing another indefinite period of not being able to sell.

Unless your dad said something specific regarding the time frame, I'd agree from what you've told us that his intention was that if you were living with him when he died that you weren't forced to leave. Surely he couldn't think it right that some of his children get indefinite free housing while the others have to lump it?

Flowery - To be honest with you I agree. I would recommend that she sees a solicitor sooner rather than later. Once she knows the legal position (and there are many unanswered questions here as to Probate, who the Executors are, whether the house has been transferred to the beneficiaries or the Executors etc), then she needs to make a decision about what she is going to do.

Most occupational clauses in Wills are quite clear, for example the rights will end if the beneficiary of the right moves out, marries or cohabits. However the OP has not said whether the Will has been prepared by a solicitor or whether it is a home made Will. The validity of the Will is not known either, because she hasn't mentioned whether this has been proved or not.

Just because it is legally right does not make it morally right. Only the OP can decide what she is going to do, once she has received advice, which I would recommend she does immediately.

You know what your father wanted and he had the good sense to state it in the Will, so the Law is on your side. There is probably nothing they can do legally hence the strong-arm tactics - but do see a solicitor and get restraining orders taken out against them if necessary.
Stay put and do claim any benefits you are entitled to....you/your ex-husband paid into the system etc etc ....Good luck.

So, the rest of the family were waiting for Sister A to move out, thinking, brilliant, finally the house will be empty and we can sell it and move on with our lives... and then the OP's relationship breaks down and she takes possession just like that?

I do think they have a point, actually. I think you should sell. Not today, certainly, but I think you should agree to put the house on the market in say 6 months time. That will give you time to get your head sorted out, sort out maintenance from your X-P and get your business built back up.

I too would like to know who has been paying for and maintaining the house for the past six years

You need to speak to a solicitor to see if you are allowed to stay in the house. It is all well and good posting on a forum but you will only get opinion, not fact.

Huge sympathy for your situation, OP.

BUT, and I am not a civil/probate lawyer, my gut feeling is that if you take legal advice you will be told that your right to live in the house is no longer in place because your father died several years ago and you have only just returned to the house. If the will states that if you cease to reside in the house, the house can then be sold, I don't see how you can rely on it. I would strongly suspect that the "temporary absence" clause is to prevent the other beneficiaries trying to force a sale because you've gone on holiday for a week - I'd be surprised if an absence of several years in your own family home counts as a temporary absence.

As I say, not my area of law and I don't know what the process is for some beneficiaries to force another to realise the inheritance by selling an asset, but in terms of your right to reside there, I think that boat has probably sailed, unfortunately.

I would strongly suggest that you check the exact legal position and then, if it is as I suspect, try to come to some sort of arrangement with your siblings before they stop talking to you and just crack on through legal channels. Perhaps set a date in a few months time by which you will be out. Otherwise you may find yourself with no control whatsoever over the timescale and manner of your leaving the house.

Restraining orders, ukatlast? Op sounds like she could well have broken the terms of the will by choosing to live elsewhere for ten years.
See a solicitor by all means, but I doubt there is "nothing they can do, legally" very much.

Was your dad expecting you to be moving home? Because from what I can grasp from your posts, when he died you had lived with your partner of fifteen years and your two children for around five years already? So why would you need a clause to say you can live in the house when you presumably had your own house. Unless he knew your relationship wouldn't last or the will was made Pre-2002 before you moved out in the first place

It would be worth knowing when the OP's father made his will. Because I can't see why she, alone of all the siblings, would be granted permission to live ad-infinitum in a house that was left to all the siblings. Which makes me wonder whether the will was made long before the moved out the first time. Only while not being legally qualified, I'd find it hard to see how she can establish a right to live in a house that she had left years earlier and has only recently re-occupied.

I can sympathise with the difficult position she is in but also see things from the point of view of her siblings. They may well have very pertinent reasons to want to realise the assets that they have tied up in the house and since the father died back in 2007, they've waited a long time already.

Gawd, this is all rather jeremy Kyle.

but I dont see how it was ever meant to work - what if they all wanted to move in becuase they are co-owners, or is it like musical chairs where the first one the baggsies it and hard luck the rest?

My ILs have told us similar re their house they have 2 DS and 1 DD the DSs are both married with good jobs and families and are homeowners, but the DD is sinlge and renting and not in a good job - the house is theirs jointly when the IL die and can be sold and the fuinds divided equally, unless the DD had moved back in by then & needed to live there

Something similar-ish happened with my sister's in-laws in Italy. Family home was left between sibling offspring with life interest for the unmarried one. However the unmarried one sold it, against the terms of the will. Thirty years later the only winners have been the lawyers. The case is still going on.

I'd also like to know how the siblings all got on before the death of their father (I can see why they would have the humop if OP had alwasy been the favoured one, for example)
and how the upkeep of the house has been paid for in the meantime - joint opwners surely means jointly liable for eg council tax and repairs

'You know what your father wanted and he had the good sense to state it in the Will, so the Law is on your side. There is probably nothing they can do legally hence the strong-arm tactics - but do see a solicitor and get restraining orders taken out against them if necessary.'

Not necessarily at all. And it's doubtful a restraining order will be granted in such a position if the siblings have not threatened violence or been violent.

This is why it is truly best to seek legal advice because this is not cut and dried given that the OP moved out and then moved back in and the length of time the owner has been dead.

You are only back in the house because your relationship broke down.

Otherwise you would still be living with your EX.

Hence your absence was NOT temporary.

Your dad died more than 6 years ago, you moved out over 10 years ago, and your sister has lived there since. You pounced on the house the moment she left. She needed the money to buy a property. You are now denying all the siblings their inheritance.

I can see why they are mad at you. I dont think you are doing the right thing in this.

I agree with others that you didn't move out temporarily.

If you put the house on the market now you can stay in it until it sells? It could take months to get a buyer and then months after that before completion.

Then when it sells you would have 1/4 of the share of the proceeds as a deposit for some where else.

I can understand your point of view. your sister quite happily made everyone wait 4 whole years while she got her life together and saved money for a new house while living rent free. And now she won't afford you the same courtesy when you need to get your life together. It's all urgent now because she's built castles in the sky on money she didn't have yet. I do think she is cheeky to think that it was ok for her to take advantage of free rent to the detriment of her siblings but not ok for you. Will she be taking rental out of her share when she gets it? I think that would be fair.

But lots of people leave marriages even though they don't have a parent's house to move into so I'm not sure the 'I couldn't leave my marriage because she was living in the house' stands up. Although I too would be a bit aggrieved that I couldn't take advantage of the same refuge that she had for those 4 years.

Contrary to what some have said I have the impression that the father's will had the other sister in mind (if anyone) when he wrote that clause as she had separated and moved in prior to his death.

I expect if your father was able to communicate his wishes and he favoured his children equally he would want you to be able to stay in the same way your sister did.

I imagine 'temporary absence' would mean a holiday or having to live somewhere for work for 6 months or summat. to stop siblings selling up while the resident was paddling in the sea at Scarborough for a long weekend.

What was the legal advice?

Any update?

The CAB appointment was hours ago.

Are you paying rent to anyone at the moment for living there?

This is an interesting thread, but more information is needed. Agree with others that very material is who has been paying for upkeep and council tax etc. And I don't think you can make a will that decrees you house shall be kept in perpetuity in case any of your heirs need to have it as a bolt hole. It's like those people who think they can ask to be stuffed and kept in a corner of the living room, or frozen.