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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I'll post what I like?

151 replies

ruledbyheart · 21/03/2013 10:57

On Facebook that is?

My DP started a new job and was meant to ne paid last Friday, of course the company messed this up and now nearly a week later they have finally said that he will get paid Tuesday, a week and half late.
We have rent due, bugger all food and absolutely nothing until he gets paid so we are not happy.

I posted on Facebook that I was fucked off that company have messed up and ranting about how we are meant to get by, the next thing I know DPs boss phone's bollocking him for allowing me to post this on my private profile.

I know now how they know about it a friend of mine also works for the said company and went running to boss man, she has been deleted.

I removed it to save hassle but AIBU to think WTF I can post what the hell I like on my profile and it shouldn't affect DPs job end of the day he isn't myboss and if ththey don't want me making the company look bad then they should bloody pay him on time not a week and a half late?

OP posts:
scarletforya · 21/03/2013 11:35

YABU

That was really silly OP. You shot yourself in the foot there.

Your FB wasn't 'private' if one of your 'friends' was your DH's colleague. Schoolboy error really.

MiniTheMinx · 21/03/2013 11:36

PinkBottleGreenBottle, actually i think social media is a powerful tool to bring people together and create solidarity, to spread information and organise. Tesco et al were shaken over workfare, although the tills are ringing again.....people have short memories and the concentration of gnats. No unions, wages and rights being eroded.....we need to talk!

softpaw · 21/03/2013 11:40

You are very naive to post stuff and not expect reaction...nothing is private.YABU

TumbleWeeds · 21/03/2013 11:40

It's not an issue on whether you can post whatever you want on FB. It's the fact that if you put something on FB, it's on the internet and whatever precautions you have taken (eg setting everything on private) doesn't means that other people will not know about it (eg one of your friends 'likes' your status and it appears on all her friends page).

It's the Internet. It's a very very open space and as soon as you put something on there, you need to be sure that you would be happy for anybody, incl your boss, not so good friend etc... to read it. Don't think that because it's 'private' it actually is. Because it's not the case.

And then you have fiends on FB that actually aren't really 'friends' (as that woman just demonstrated).

And I would advise your DP to find a new job tbh. If they aren't legally bind to give him x hours a week, now, seen the blunder, they won't do it as the first opportunity. Even if your DP is good at his job. :(

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/03/2013 11:41

Of course you can post what you like. Just as you can stand on a street corner and say what you like. And in both places, people who read/hear you are free to ignore or react to what you post/say.

T'internet is a public space. If you want things to stay private or just amongst friends, then that is where you place it.

TumbleWeeds · 21/03/2013 11:42

Of coiurse, this doesn't mean you should accept 0 hours contract or that you can't say what you thik about x company.

Just that doing so when you or your partner is working for them might not the best decision.
Just as you would be careful in RL as to who you would say that sort of things (eg you might have chosen not to say that to the 'friend' who went to see the boss). With added fact that you need to think that everyone can see what you write on FB as a default mode.

OwnedByACockerSpaniel · 21/03/2013 11:42

Ofcourse you can post whatever you want, but you have to be prepared for the consequences of doing so.

With regards to the zero hour contract, your employment contract should state the date or time period you will get paid e.g. weekly every Tuesday, monthly on the 20th and so forth. The company have breached their own contract, your DP should have gone to the accounts department or HR and asked for a upfront BACS or CHAPS payment for what is due or a small portion. I did pay roll in a previous employment and if I had missed anyone out, I would then probably have given them money from either petty cash or a bank payment to resolve it and tide them over.

Also if he has signed a contract with diminished capacity, he needs to tell HR. He needs to explain he is dyslexic and does not understand the contract fully. They will then print out another one and help him understand his contract.

With regards to not liking the job, why not just look for another one? Yes he is zero hours but he is still entitled to turn down days of work, as he is not obliged to work a set amount of hours he is obliged to work zero. So if he has a interview and they need him all he says is "no I can't do that day sorry". People often get very confused with zero hours, it works both ways.

navada · 21/03/2013 11:43

Yabu. Why do people feel they have to off load the entire contents of their brain onto social networking sites? & on a daily basis a lot of the time. What happened to dignity & discretion? & old fashioned ' let's keep this between ourselves'

I'm not keen on this new world [ old git ]

WorraLiberty · 21/03/2013 11:43

I can understand your frustration OP, but this really is childish.

"Running to her boss" "Grassing me up".

It's far more likely that she spoke to her boss like an adult and pointed out that the DP of one of their employees is bringing the company into disrepute, don't you think?

Unless you posted the entire ins and outs of the situation and fairly represented the company's side as well as your DP's side in all this...it's quite likely they were concerned about libel.

Purple2012 · 21/03/2013 11:43

Of course you can post what you like - as long as you are willing to accept the consequences. I never put updates on FB - I find it childish. Yes have a moan to friends and family but I can never understand why so many people want to put their whole private lives on a public site.

FabOeufsFromLaChocolateries · 21/03/2013 11:45

YANBU..they are treating you badly and just annoyed that other people might find out about it. They are in the wrong IMO

everlong · 21/03/2013 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkBottleGreenBottle · 21/03/2013 11:45

Mini - yes, social media is powerful. And like any other powerful tool, it needs to be used properly and with consideration.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/03/2013 11:46

Your dp would not be better off if he were sacked from this job, ruledbyheart, because the sacking would go on his CV, and he would be asked at job interviews why he had left his last job. Do you think any company would want him if they learned he had been sacked because his partner had badmouthed the company on a public forum? Tbh, even if he didn't tell them why he lost his last job, it never looks good on your CV, if you have been sacked.

People need to learn that social media are not private. It only takes one person on your FB to tell someone else what you have said, and you can be in deep shit. Basically, do not put anything on a social media site where you are using your real name and details, if you would not be prepared to say it publically, to the person you are talking about.

Just remember what happened to all the people who retweeted the allegations about Lord McAlpine - the high profile, famous, and well-off ones are being pursued for a lot of money by Lord McAlpine, and even those with only a few followers are being asked to make a donation to charity - £250, iirc. These people did not even originate the offensive allegations - they simply passed on what someone else had said - and they could have been in deep trouble over it.

PinkBottleGreenBottle · 21/03/2013 11:49

And goodness me, nobody is "defending" poor workers' rights, or suggesting that the OP should "starve in silence".

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/03/2013 11:50

I find it so utterly bizarre that people share so much of their lives on FB. It is so teenage.

Yes I would be annoyed, yes I would probably have a moan to a friend, or my Mum or whoever. But broadcast it to the world? No.

saintlyjimjams · 21/03/2013 11:52

Not defending the company. Just saying the reality is it was a stupid thing to do, particularly when her dp hasn't been employed long enough to even claim unfair dismissal if he was sacked. If you're sacked in the first year - however unfair - there's usually bugger all you can do about it. So silly to rock the boat. Of course they should treat their workers better.

Pandemoniaa · 21/03/2013 11:54

YAB totally U. Not for the first time I am amazed at the personal information people are prepared to blurt all over the internet.

To use FB like this could easily get your DP sacked which is hardly going to help, is it? Sure, he should have been paid but that's his responsibility to sort. It's all very well going on about privacy settings and suffering in silence but once you put something on the internet it becomes public in a way you can't control. If I were your DP I'd be bloody furious about how you've jeopardised his job.

LibertineLover · 21/03/2013 11:55

What's your DH said about it? Mine would have gone mad, it's a bit childish, and what does it achieve? really? couldn't you just rant to your DH or a mte? why must you do it to face fucking book?

OwnedByACockerSpaniel · 21/03/2013 11:59

we call it faceache in my house Grin

causes more problems than it is worth! The amount of people and marital fights/seperations that occur because of faceache is pure madness Confused

FabOeufsFromLaChocolateries · 21/03/2013 12:00

It was a silly thing to do..and I wouldn't have done it..and been in same situation...but really the OP is not to blame for disclosing ill treatment

navada · 21/03/2013 12:00

Spot on Alibaba. It is bizarre.
I blame the X.Factor & reality shows. Everyone wants to feel important & that their rather mundane lives are so interesting that we all need to know what's going on ( in reality no one gives a shit )

I've never had Facebook for those reasons.

Badvoc · 21/03/2013 12:05

Of purse you can post what you like.
But it's a public forum.
So,will be read by lots of people who may not agree with you!
You sound very immature tbh.

paulapantsdown · 21/03/2013 12:11

What in Gods name did you hope to acheive by wittering on about your private financial details on a public inernet forum?

LazyMonkeyButler · 21/03/2013 12:14

I also work for a company on a 0 hours contract, and it has been known for "errors" to be made with pay. Hmmm, I wonder Grin.

Anyhow, I think it's quite standard now for employers to disallow such things. We had a memo last Friday reminding us that "naming the company, colleagues or clients in a derogatory way on social media such as (but not limited to) Facebook or Twitter, is a disciplinary matter". Likewise, discussing the company, colleagues or clients in a derogatory manner in the hearing of other colleagues or clients.

Are you responsible for that memo I wonder OP? Grin

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